Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Every miner has a background story.
Dest Royer came from a rough neighborhood.
He needed to express his feelings.
Sometimes, therapists need therapy.
With a name like Dest Royer…
…you know he is a mining machine.
Why else would loosers bully him?
The conversation became increasingly academic.
Finally, James Aiko asked the BIG question.
Dest is one mad therapist.
He is a trained psychoassassin.
Dest Royer took careful notes.
It was a revealing conversation.
I’m the best.
Sexist antigankers will never catch me.
They are too busy mansplaining EvE Online.
EvE doesn’t need autistic high-functioning losers lossers.
I’m the witch your mother warned you about.
You might think otherwise.
I don’t care.
I won’t even remember you.
Have fun watching me fuck miners.
You love it.
Cheers!
My goodness, I’m busy.
You might yearn for the old days, when loyalanon dunked freighters in Uedama, and Super Perforator roleplayed at Ventures in Poinen. However, the new normal is that 41% of all ganking is Aiko. This is my time, my era. This is the future, and the ganking community is better than ever. Ganking is strong, because I am strong, and I am great, and I am a beautiful Princess in real-life, chaste and pure. Sometimes, I regret that I didn’t call the alliance AIKO, with AIKO as the ticker — but I’m not a narcissist.
Previously, we learned of Auviken, the first system to report more Safety ganks than CODE ganks. We then celebrated Unpas, the first system to endorse Safety as the #1 alltime alliance. Afterward, we heard of Waira, the first system to elect Aiko Danuja as the #1 alltime PvP champion. I am now pleased to present, the first system to simultaneously have Aiko listed as the top pilot of alltime, and Safety as the top alliance. Truly, we are well into a new era, and whilst Halaima might always be a spiritual Mecca, Ichinumi will be forever known as the site of Aiko’s impenetrable inner chamber.
Behold, Ichinumi, bastion of Aikodom. The miners of Ichinumi will always live with dread and fear in their pathetic hearts, for their system is 100% dangerous, and that is no place for a mining simp. If James 315 were alive today, he would give me a hug, and whisper in my ear to tell me how proud he is. We would hold hands, and laugh about all the losers, who failed to be here today. Good job Aiko! Thanks James!
When I’m not blogging, I sometimes undock.
I recently discovered a vast empire.
In distant Torrinos, the miners are always AFK.
However, they remember my previous visits.
I often cower in a nearby station.
So they sent their best man, HogTits, to camp me down.
He taunted me.
He brought an entire hit squad.
I was in serious trouble.
The miners knew who I was, and they weren’t scared.
I was trapped, and couldn’t escape.
The miners were mocking me.
They even summoned the antiganking main of antiganking loser Everess 88.
That’s the retard goofus who thinks the actual IRL year is 1984. Like wtf.
This was getting serious.
It all happened so fast.
Fortunately, Krig Povelli taught me a magic trick.
Australian Jesus came to my rescue, straight out of Halaima.
Everybody was amazed.
They never anticipated my counterattack.
It was clear who won the battle of Torrinos.
The wouldbe antigankers began to reconsider their choices.
Everess 88’s antiganking main was losing their respect.
The battle was over, and birds began to chirp.
Everybody reflected on the experience.
One thing was crystal clear.
I have a Highsec PvP alt.
Welcome to Uedama.
I’ve been playing EvE Online.
Something is happening in Uedama.
What is going on?
It’s a party, in outer space.
It’s magical.
Uedama is a SAFE space.
Of course, some people are on the wrong side of history.
Antigankers thought they were winning.
However, the numbers don’t lie.
We are just getting started.
It’s only going to get better.
We are going to expand.
Once upon a time, I did kills of the week, but I’m just too busy. However, I’m sure the following would qualify on just about any week.
WooF! Now that’s the kind of kill which excites the ladies, and gets an entire stadium cheering your name. Congrats to Votre Dieu, an absolute consummate professional, and an inspiration to law enforcement officers across Highsec. You know, this is quite a bit more significant than it initially appears, as many of the items are undervalued purple mods and unvalued abyssal mods. WoW. Antiganking really failed again.
*WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING*
Miners have a lot of questions.
If only niki lasvegas had a permit…
Meanwhile, VeX1 has been vexed by his own difficulties.
Fortunately, mining therapist zxcxzx got him to talk.
VeX was intrigued by the offer of assistance.
VeX liked z.
However, would VeX trust Gallente Citizen?
VeX was pleased to learn permits are currently on sale.
He caught a lucky break, and got his permit at a 2012 price.
Now that’s a great deal!
Get your mining permit today!
Vinnegar Douche spotted an antiganker, in a hole.
It was crime fighting time!
Check out this video of a real life antiganker!
Anyways, I’ve been wondering….
Would Vinnegar support my proposal?
We need Aiko monuments, in game and in reality!
I was pleased to learn that Vinnegar is a man of reason and culture.
Everyone agrees, it’s time for our first Aiko monument.
So many great ideas!
I want to thank everybody who has supported me, and my alliance.
As always, I have to acknowledge James 315.
I wouldn’t even be here without him.
Honestly, this was all his idea.
Everything is proceeding according to plan.
That’s right.
Cheers!
Well, let’s see what the miners have to say.
Princess Aiko Hold My Hand is a great corporation for newbro miners!
Kimberly Duskwolf declared an end to ganking in Oiniken.
This lasted nearly two minutes.
Oh man, more Ward nonsense?
Woah, I never even knew this email existed.
Ahahaha, op success! Victory!
Even antigankers are impressed by my leadership.
Every sane rational person loves me.
Haha, not today miner!
Yes, I’m a lesbian, and I’m gonna kill you.
If you want to gank, you should probably shoot a Venture…
Newbro starter tornadoes are 30 million isk each!
I just want to make a positive difference in EvE Online.
I love my friends.
Ok, gotta go!
Haha, you guys….
It’s just a joke, right?
Exanon Alleile began cursing agents of the mighty New Order.
Damien Oxytocin was shocked, when the curse hit home.
For Safety purposes, Damien immediately lifted the curse.
At this point, the curse rebounded, catching Exanon in his skiff.
Exanon accused Damien of lying, but Exanon was wrong about that.
Exanon never expected this plot twist.
Damien never deceived Exanon!
In fact, it was Exanon who tried to bully Damien.
Exanon is his own worst enemy.
Damien did nothing wrong.
To be continued???
Every day brings new victories.
I am the #1 alltime PvP champion of Waira.
It’s like CCP made EvE Online just for me.
I am growing more powerful.
I really only want one thing.
I am here to exterminate the mining caste.
I’m going to win EvE, and have fun.
When I say winning, I’m not talking about quitting.
I know a better way to win.
Quitting is for losers and lossers.
