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Stark Raving Mad, Part 1

Listening to: The Plan

Previously, in James 315 Space Princess Aiko was once an ordinary gankerette, with perfect breeding, impeccable charm, and endless Khanid wealth. Of course, the Jamespocalypse was nigh, and Aiko intended to supersede Helicity Boson as the Imperium’s Divine Keepstress of Hulks. Could the siren of Orcageddon survive one last challenge from the rebellious Highsec mining caste?

Each day, like clockwork, Lilliana returned to Audaerne.

Lilliana knew the truth. Aiko is a shameless hussie, who slept her way straight to the top. James 315 was thus seduced by Aiko’s vision of a New Order, rejecting Caldari corporate heresies and embracing the pious mercy of Khanid. However, could Lilliana defeat Aiko and seize the High Throne of Halaima for herself?

Lilliana’s alt VictorStark Stark sacrificed an Orca, in a vain attempt to impress James. Would the future of the mighty CODE. alliance rest upon the AFK leadership of gobloks, non-undockers, and super cringy roleplay carebears? Each and every day, the miners of SICO listened intently as Lilliana made her case, denouncing Aiko and boldly proclaiming herself to be the one true Saviourette.

Lilliana and Victor lost everything they had, including their dignity, but perhaps they could convince Aiko to quit EVE (again)? Some of the SICO bears supported Lilliana, urging Aiko to give them a hasty blowjob before uninstalling.

Inspired by Lilliana, every miner fantasized about how they might run the mighty CODE. alliance, if only James would support their candidacy.

Some prophesied the coming of a carebear messiah.

Others saw themselves as the promised ganking CEO.

Lilliana saw herself as the future of CODE.

She intended to bully Aiko straight out of the game.

However, Aiko has a lot of friends.

Were Aiko’s friends strong enough to endure Lilliana’s abuse?

Aiko had never experienced such discipline.

Perhaps, the Princess was willing to negotiate a truce?

If not, Lilliana would continue until downtime…

Would Lilliana ever calm down?

Finally, it was time for a permanent nap.

Lilliana’s former main, VictorStark, had been reduced to a mere assetless alt. He briefly chimed in, as Lilliana logged off.

The other miners watched sadly, as VictorStark faded from history.

***

BONUS: Do you know what’s going on in Uedama? The Reddit plebs aren’t sure, but perhaps you can chime in and let them know what’s up.

***

Yeah, ayy, uh
I gotta, I gotta, I gotta blap
Yo, yo, yo, ayy

I do this cause I can (yeah)
I just took care of my fam (ayy)
Thought this was always the plan (yeah)

You don’t understand (ayy)
Karttoon just opened the can
No fufu that’s not on my brand (ayy)
Call me when you need a hand (yeah)

Always scrutinized
Must have mixed us with a different group
Spot the truth or lies, I mean business but I’m not in suit and ties
Just been prophesized (yeah, uh)
This fell right into place (yeah)

Liquor and women, two things I don’t chase (uh)
Don’t got a minute to waste (yeah)
Mask off, I’m showing my face (yeah)
They hate so much, it’s a disgrace (uh)
I put ’em back into place (yeah)

Hall of Fame, Aiko’s a shoe in
Ten years, this has been brewing (ayy)

Number one spot, I’m pursuing (ayy)
Exclusive like “Who done let you in?”
Money talks, I speak it fluent

Pack, flip that, making quick stacks
Taking a quick trap nap (yeah)
I go all night and shit, ain’t gotta hide this
This hit’s a freestyle, I ain’t even write this
Thought that was always the plan (ayy)

There’s only one way, there’s only one option
There’s only one route to get there, you know?
And this got more and more digits than a license plate
Them nine-ten figures don’t make themselves, yadadamean?
You gotta get it! This was always the plan

 

 

 

This article has 2 comments

  1. anonymous gankr

    Stark is such an idiot. The pearl river trailerpark reference made me lol.

    That loser should just quit.
    Like that other tactical retard…

    XD

  2. aiva naali

    Oh you wait my nyx is going to be in my hanger shortly and theres a titan im going to put in the dirt where is it well lets just say this its an avatar

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