Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Not everyone is happy with me.
Some people don’t like my friends.
I don’t understand why.
Is there something wrong?
Maybe they are just lonely.
We all miss James.
I’m sure he will return, any day now.
Meanwhile, I think he would be proud of what I’ve done.
At least, I’m not docked up in Poinen.
Right?
Yesterday, in James 315 space, we examined how a Highsec mining corporation attempted to ‘corner’ the Catalyst market. Today, we announce that Princess Aiko has convinced Scooby Snacks Corp to continue their scheme.
If you are invested in Catalyst futures, this is good news. At press time, our Jita analyst reports prices already approaching the January 29 peak.
How many Catalysts can YOU manufacture and sell?
Two years ago, Scooby Snacks Corp attempted to bribe Aiko, with a gift of 3200 Catalysts in return for a ‘sweetheart’ deal. alazarr and alts have now decided to terminate the alliance, and intend to buy their Catalysts back at any cost.
You may recall the Great Catalyst Panic of 2019, when alazarr attempted a similar scheme, before giving up and handing the Catalysts to Aiko. We can only hope that a similar outcome presents itself, as alazarr vows to invest 7 trillion isk.
alazarr gave Aiko fair warning…
…but she rebuffed him with a diplomatic snub.
If the scheme continues, you can thank Aiko.
It’s gonna be a long expensive year.
What will happen next?
Why does Aiko keep doing this?
Oh no! Please don’t throw me in the briar patch!
EVE is such a great game, isn’t it?
Minx Mattel has long been a supporter of Princess Aiko.
You may have noticed that Catalyst prices spiked recently, peaking at 15 million isk per ship. Was this an antiganker conspiracy? Yes, it was.
Minx would know, since her market alt sold a lot of Catalysts.
I remember dab dabonez. Do you?
James 315 always loved his little Princess (that’s me!), because she was his favourite angel. In A Deal with Code, James described how Aiko and her big sister, Alt, helped Scooby Snacks Corp, with assistance from Drugs.
Two years later, James is dead, Aiko is a verified Godqueen, and old dabber finally saw his chance to drive a disbanded alliance from the game, by artificially manipulating the price of Catalysts. My, how the galaxy spins.
Minx’s alt tried to explain economics, but dab wouldn’t listen.
dab spent two years blazing it, and wasn’t about to stop now.
dab’s alt alazarr was authorized to purchase Catalysts at any price.
What a champ.
Former CODE. gankers are the only people who mass produce Gallente destroyers, and we ramped up production to meet Scooby Snacks demand.
It was hard to keep up, and prices skyrocketed.
In an attempt to minimize supply, dab paid us to halt production.
Eventually, he ran out of money, and prices began to decline.
After attempting to list Catalysts at 15 million isk (and paying exorbitant broker fees), the market manipulator was forced to relist everything at a loss.
Stupid miner!
Previously, in James 315 space… Riddle Voldemort was an evil miner, who lost everything when he hastily gave it all away.
Nine minutes later, he began to regret his investment.
Bankrupt and alone, Riddle finally hit rock bottom.
Riddle swore eternal fealty, trusting upon the mercy of Princess Aiko.
Consequently, he was lawfully convicted of botting.
Riddle was fortunate to hear the divine wisdom of royalty.
He thus received a new quest, to fetch 960 million isk.
Riddle truly loved his holy Princess.
What a happy miner.
Riddle lingered in the royal court, eager for additional favour.
Ultimately, he was a satisfied peasant.
What a lucky fellow.
Previously, in James 315 space… Riddle Voldemort lost his poorly fit Tayra, and received instructions to promptly transfer the remainder of his assets to Cargo Bandit. In such cases, it is important to proceed as quickly as possible.
There was no time to waste.
Voldemort transferred his assets in haste.
Would it be enough to pay his debts?
Unfortunately, Voldemort was bankrupt!
His world was crashing down around him.
To be continued…
Believe it or not, sometimes miners make mistakes.
Riddle Voldemort was surprised by the notorious EVE learning curve.
Like most haulers, he wanted to cram his eggs into a rickety basket, and derp about in safety. Unfortunately, EVE is more complicated than that.
Princess Aiko, as always, was eager to help.
Voldemort gladly accepted her assistance.
The clock was ticking…
He just wanted to get this over with.
Ridley was in a hurry.
To be continued…
When I log in, people seem to notice.
It’s not easy… gankin, bloggin, and lookin so fine.
I couldn’t do it without my friends.
I’m just a petite girl, here to save the galaxy (again).
Of course, the New Order has a lot of other great people.
However, I mostly just love myself.
There’s no I in team, but there is a me, and that a stands for Aiko!
I miss you Daddy.
I’m such a good Princess.
Check out the hook, while my DJ revolves it.
The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78
Previously, in James 315 space… avia naali, aka aiva naali, aka ‘lil Suppercomputer, aka Speedier Gonzalez, aka the Mittani, was delighted to learn his director of strategic operations campaign was coming along perfectly, as planned.
As confirmation, he received his official DBCSC certification, which doubles as a ski pass during the biannual Goon retreat to Colorado Springs.
As Pandemic Horde line members will remember, cloaky protius infiltraters and spys caused havoc during the early stage of the war, all thanks to the brilliant leadership of Emperor avia. Of course, it was not easy fooling the carebears.
Utilizing advanced lag gunning technologies, within the conservative constraints of fiscal austerity, avia developed a cheap billion isk ‘biker fit’, with the ability to deploy tactical rat bombs. Everybody loves a good lag gunn.
As discussed in part 93, avia also established wormhole truckstops, to ensure effective intergalactic logistics. This was soon expanded into a comprehensive backup empire, henceforth referred to as the imerium.
Of course, the real struggle lay in high sec.
Advanced psyops techinques brainwashed miners into supporting CODE.
Meanwhile, everything depended on pushing from 45% to 55% as quickly as possible, passing through the “dangerous ten percent” and securing an inevitable victory after 56%. Listening carefully to avia, Aiko and Mittens thus agreed to halt their fleets at the 44% line, and prepare for the “BIG PUSH TO FIFTY SIX”.
Honestly, EVE Online can be a lot of fun!
To be continued…
Sometimes, I’m not exactly honest.
I don’t really care.
Do you think I’m a scammer?
I’m just a girl, playing a video game.
Every winner needs a sucker!
James loved his little Princess.
I always get what I deserve.
I enjoy lamentations.
I’m every miner’s fantasy.
They just love me.
Sometimes, their brain melts.
Germans appear particularly susceptible to my charms.
I’m not sure what is wrong with that race.
I suppose their best DNA was lost an der Ostfront.
What?
That’s right. Germans never know when to give up.
Are Bavarians even actually people?
Oh well, at least it recognizes a lawful Prinzessin.
A business model, written in blood! Aiko shoots miners who don’t want anything other than to enjoy peace and quiet. She is so mean and vile, that one is sometimes left breathless. At long last, does she even know shame? I love mining, because it gives me a feeling of calm. However, she comes along and ruins everything!
What a funny little sauerkraut.
