Relaxing Aslan

CCP buffed Mackinaws…

So Wizard AslanMiner doesn’t need fittings.

Like an adult, he accepted personal responsibility.

He is a well adjusted (and mostly peacefull) young man.

He wasn’t some crybaby, sputtering excuses and vague threats.

Wizard saw a silver lining, and an opportunity for PROFIT.

He was reasonable, and eager to cooperate.

Wizard urged me to rethink my life choices.

Like all miners, he is a miner.

Mining is relaxing!

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #240

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #239

Oh my…

Well!

all you understand grab fool play bitch i didn’t touch you what sticks fall off assholes let play norms go other fuck though you are cowards you current retras and orcs uncut and can clap but before the norms of the pvpeshniki suck

In Highsec, freighters are free!

LOKAsmodeus lost a capsule…

Sargon has been selling station permits.

Success!

Also, I’m super cute!

My blog is the best.

Cheers!

DIE IDIOT

 

Quadra Loser

Stargate- Sivala is a magical portal.

Champions of EvE Online are found here.

You can also find permafailures, in real life.

Quadra Frost is super obsessed with me.

Since he plays EvE in real life, he is obsessed in real life.

He roleplays as a CONCORD bot, fighting the griefer guild.

What a loser, in real life!

Triggered…

He’s gonna get me.

Thumbs up!

Quadra respects me, and is desperate for my respect.

Sometimes, you just gotta be honest with people.

What a looooooser (in real life)!

Like every miner, Quadra has a secret mystery main.

He’s so smart…

I just can’t help it.

I drive men crazy.

Get a life, you loser!

Haha, omg.

SMDH.

Do you think Quadra Frost is a retarded IRL loser?

Let me know in the comments!

The Battle for Aikoux

Julian Snelders loves Facebook.

He also loves poorly formatted screenshots.

I finally figured out what he is yapping about.

These miners are crying…

…in real-life, with their real names.

Facebook is a real salt mine.

Is it true? Does Barnes only kill defenceless ships?

In fact, he hunts combat cruisers, with a smaller destroyer. He does it in Highsec, where he must win within seconds, because his ship will be automatically destroyed by NPCs. He does it alone, and he is victorious. That’s elite PvP.

However, miners are obsessed with isk/hr calculations.

Kristian threw down the gauntlet. Could Highsec gankers survive, without CONCORD protection? What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

To be continued…

Beepbeep, I’m a Jeep

Hello, dear reader.

I’m sure you’ve all been wondering.

How did I become so awesome and invincible?

Unfortunately, I have terrible news.

James 315 died, and that is so sad.

Loyal CODE. agents are docked up, AFK forever. That’s what Daddy wanted, to have gankers lined up in the mausoleum, entombed with his corpse.

As miners learn in crab school, whilst Ventures nibble the toes of Mike Azariah, James 315 was a godly man who just wanted carebears to maximize their isk/hr. When bots began driving down the price of Veldspar, he started an alliance to fight back. Furthermore, to prevent anarchy, he forced the rabblemongers of Hulkageddon and Jihadswarm to honor the holy permit. James would often pilot a magical Bowhead full of tanky Procurers, handing them out to all the good little miners. Alas, in the darkness, an evil lurked. A nasty little b witch conspired to poison James, and steal the CODE. for herself, and she formed an alliance with lowsec gankers… and other gankers.

I did do it, and I’m proud of myself.

Grrr hat Aiko, hat hat hat.

So now you know the TRUE true.

I can’t deny it any longer.

Yes, it is me, Princess Butter Cupcake.

I’m the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online.

Bee well!

Miners of Misneden, Part 2

Previously, in Aiko Danuja Space, Emille Droffer refused to pay rent.

Alt 00 decided to investigate the local community.

One miner won a free spelling lesson.

However, they did not seem to understand.

Alt found them insufferable.

An example was made of ‘not a miner’ Nelforce.

He is a liar and a criminal.

Furthermore, he is dumber than Alt anticipated.

Nelforce was clearly unwell.

Who would keep him safe?

To be continued…

Z Nation

Previously, in the best EvE Online blog…

pravednik III paid 300 million isk to keep zvezda solnze safe.

I found this offer enticing and intriguing.

When I discovered zvezda mining, all alone, in a highly dangerous security system – I knew what to do. I gave her a gentle nudge, encouraging her to find a safer space to AFK bot farm. Safety first, always!

Wait, what?

Uh oh…

Here comes the Z!

xaxa western monkeys)))

Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,

Being the #1 PvP capsuleer in the galaxy, and the most beautiful woman, and the best blogger, and the greatest alliance leader, and the most wonderfulest Aiko ever imaginable, it sure is exhausting. Today, I woke up to more disturbing news.

CCP wants to raise rent by 33%!

This is really upsetting the miners.

I just want them to die.

They can pay more to cry more.

I just need 166% more isk to kill double ehp miners.

Every miner is now 33% more likely to quit the game.

I’m gonna win, even if CCP goes bankrupt.

Before you go, send me all your money!

Thanks!