Don’t Quit!

A lot of miners think we are cheating.

They believe we are space bullies.

However, we’ve never forced someone to stop playing.

We want them to keep enjoying the game.

We especially love newbros.

I would be sad if I made someone leave.

What would EVE be, without iconic players like FARTSTINGER II?

Greedy carebears deserve to pursue their dreams.

Without miners, who will build our spaceships?

We appreciate their dedication.

Every miner is a cherished member of our community.

Please don’t uninstall.

Mine on!

See ya!

Give Me My Dom!

Quick nslo wasn’t quick enough…

He wasn’t a very good sport.

In fact, he was a crybaby.

However, he kind of likes me.

He started to calm down.

Maybe I would be his friend?

Maybe I would be his girlfriend?

Maybe I would replace his spaceship?

Or maybe not…

He began to beg.

He lashed out in anger.

He appealed to reason.

He wanted a Dom.

He needed a Dom.

Poor guy.

Maybe James will save him?



Uedama Today

Welcome to Uedama.

It’s a great place to hang out with friends.

It’s like going to the club.

There’s only one problem.

Your ship might explode…

So come on over, and check it out.

Everybody is here!

You might even be a winner!

Are you feeling LUCKY?

Newbro haulers are especially welcome.

We’ll be waiting for you!

Kelroth, Part 3

Listening to: Tyrant

Kelroth, Part 1

Previously, in the Princess Diaries… Sievert Solutions was a salty antiganker crybaby Mormon. He took to the forums, warning New Eden about the rise of a powerful new force. Whilst other antigankers celebrated the slow decline of the CODE. alliance, Sievert knew that something wicked this way comes.

Everyone concluded this was just the ranting of a Highsec carebear, but deep in the subterranean archives of the New Order Historical Origin Society (NOHOS), the story of Kelroth is preserved as a pivotal moment in galactic history.

The New Year began with dire omens, for the Jamespocalypse was nigh. Elite Amarr ganker Lovin Jr was surprised to find an Enforcer loaded with skill injectors, and even more surprised to encounter the same goofus in a Magnate full of skill injectors. Shortly thereafter, a young Princess Aiko was contacted by Kelroth, who invited her to Teamspeak where they plotted against Lovin Jr.

Surprise plot twist! Aiko and Lovin are IRL friends.

Shortly thereafter, Aiko arranged an in-game meeting with Kelroth.

Kelroth bought a mining permit.

Sievert watched in horror, as the spider queen spun her web.

Kelroth gave Aiko another billion, plus a fifteen billion advance on Lovin’s bounty.

Sievert couldn’t believe Aiko’s dank tics.

Meanwhile, Kelroth was pleased to receive VIP status.

Aiko decided it was time to send an agent to Amarr.

Her scout reported that Kelroth was handing out Large Skill Injectors.

It was time to summon the girls!

To be continued…

Busy in Alikara

Miners really appreciate our content.

They recognize me as their official Saviourette.

They are always watching yours truly, their living Goddess.

I’m the best friend a miner could hope for.

They don’t always understand.

However, they respect my pedigree and lineage.

Indeed, they are truly grateful.

I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Don’t forget your mining permit!


Aiko Danuja Penismuncher

Antigankers are the most toxic people in the game.

High Side is a typical ‘white knight’. If I acted like him, antigankers would cry foul, claiming the moral high ground. However, you can see for yourself. Gankers are classy cats, and antigankers are bitterbear losers.

High Side’s alt is KOCMO EHOT.

They are upset, because I ganked their antiganking Talos.

Naturally, incels are enraged by my mouth.

High Side is crushing on me, and wants to pull my ponytail.

Aiko Danuja sucks dick, very cheap.
She’s a whore like her mother,
and she loves when you piss in her mouth.

He’s not wrong. I love a good time!


KOCMO High Side is a bad man, in real life…

… so I sent my regards.

You might not like me, but I’m kinda like a big deal, ya know?

I get paid to do what I love.

I’m a Princess!

High Side intends to continue with his ‘campaign’.

It is obvious who hasn’t been getting any blowjobs.

Like, real talk, I only date gankers.


Highsec miners want to impress me.

I don’t mind the attention.

I’m just the best.

Golly gee…

I sure do love helping miners.

I’ve made a lot of friends.

They give me lots of gifts.

I deserve it!

I’m such a special little lady.

Just right click my name, and select give money.

I’ll keep you safe…

…and introduce you to my pals.

I dunno where they all came from…

…but they sure are great.

I’m the heroin of Highsec!