Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Tonight we went aganking in Uedama.
Our CSM representatives even showed up.
Bless their hearts.
It’s almost like ganking is a legitimate form of gameplay.
Antigankers spread the alarm…
…but miners just kept dying.
It was a battle as significant as any nullbear lagfest.
We dominated those miners.
Everybody was really impressed.
Uedama is a wonderful place to visit.
A few lucky winners even get a free teleport.
We had a lot of fun!
Come back soon!
A lot of people are saying that Highsec miners are dumb.
It’s true.
They aren’t good at mining.
They are bad with money.
They are bad at PvP.
They can’t tell a win from a loss.
They don’t understand the law.
They enjoy mundane repetitive tasks.
They don’t know how to have fun.
They are out of touch with reality.
They can’t stop crying.
They are stupid.
Some don’t like Safety.
They hate their own government.
We try our best, but it’s never good enough.
These bots need to calm down.
They lash out blindly at everyone.
They invent paranoid conspiracies…
…with imaginary enemies lurking in the shadows.
There’s only one reasonable solution.
We must euthanize the miners.
All of them.
Russian bots often utilize inadequate chat scripts.
Flopalopadoobie had this one-sided conversation, with a Venture.
Anna Alduina > blasphemy you climbed idiot
Anna Alduina > standing dripping no fucking out of the ear
Anna Alduina > na xyi yebok
Anna Alduina > pindostan unfinished
Anna Alduina > fak niger
Anna Alduina > Because of you idiot, I leaked all the lawsuits, I dug no need to destroy them, so tell me what the fuck did you earn from me? Well, you destroyed the ship, well, rejoice. Why do I need to lay an egg, I spent a month collecting implants. Or that your balls are so small that you only drain small things like me?
Anna Alduina > How tired I am that everyone is trying to take away the little trifle that I have already collected, but what can I say to you, you leaked me and you are happy. You don’t understand!
Anna Alduina > Well, you leaked me the arguments, and what? Did you kill the capsule? Absurd! If you have such kils in high esteem, then the most that I can tell you is that it’s stupid. And yes , I don’t care , unlike you, I even write, even if it’s bad. How insignificant you are then, well, go on catching the little ones. After all, it seems that you are not capable of more. Rat, this is what’s perfect for you! You’re pathetic in your attempt to be cool by merging the weaker ones.
Usually, commies struggle with alphabets.
This miner was trying to spell, “You are fucked up! If your destiny is to PvP, I feel sorry for you.” Close, but keep practicing!
Ukrainian men are desperate for free-market blowjobs.
My mouth drives them crazy!
Where is that whore who wants 30 million isk?
Crazy Miner Garry offers advice for his comrades.
More frequently, we don’t understand what the pinkos are saying.
When we do take time to translate, it’s usually either:
You pathetic clowns! Your mothers will die of Wu Flu!
or…
How can I be nice to faggots like you?
or…
Smoke pussy scum))
Recently, they threatened to report us for RMT!
The only good red miner, is a dead miner.
Увидимся позже!)))
I’ve been thinking.
I’m in charge.
So I declare a miner hunt.
I hereby summon all the knights and sundry pages.
Show me your best kills, and amaze me.
I will show you mine.
When you catch a miner, make it talk.
Teach it who is boss.
That’s right.
Come on, come all!
It’s gonna be fun!
Just like old times…
I know how to keep miners happy.
First, you shoot them.
Then, you have a conversation.
Usually, they cry.
Let them express their feelings.
Eventually, you can find common ground.
It’s not hard to figure out what miners want.
They need a friend.
For a bit of money, they can finally be happy.
Don’t let them scam you with a sob story.
Take their isk.
This gives them a sense of purpose.
They just want to belong.
They love it.
Miners love to write about the New Order.
They have delusions of grandeur.
The poor things are confused.
Don’t press the seagull pomornik!
Some miners have learned helplessness.
They are barely trying.
They aren’t safe, even in the high-security zone.
So they take their abuse out on us.
They cry and cry and cry.
Sometimes, they pretend they aren’t crying.
They might even thank us.
Or they send some helpful advice.
It’s all just crying.
These miners are salty.
Really salty.
They are frostbitten and gone to forest.
We leaked their ship.
Silly miners.
They have so much to say.
We will stay in touch!
A few days ago, when I glanced at the CSM candidates, I failed to notice double trader Vily. Oh, he’s also running? I’d like to ignore him, but recent developments have forced me to acknowledge him.
Matterall has jumped the shark, whiteknighting for snowflake Vily, who was outrageously assaulted during an interview.
Mittens urged people to watch Vily’s boring interview, and Matterall construed this as egregiously inappropriate griefing.
That’s right. Goonswarm’s ‘raid’ of the CCP stream was analogous to a violent confrontation in which people died. Mittens deliberately and intentionally fired a loaded Goonswarm at Vily. This clearly ranks alongside other infamous moments in history, including the Reichstag Fire, the LA Riots, and the St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre.
Since Vily’s interview was hosted by CCP, one wonders why Matterall is involved. We might assume that CCP is capable of managing their own channel, but Matterall is apparently a space Karen.
This has a lot to do with the basic psychology of carebears. For example, consider the recent clips of Coach Subway and HateLesS, two ‘chill’ dudes who suddenly became enraged and nearly (or actually) started punching their desk. There’s a lot boiling behind that calm exterior, and these people are looking for an excuse to claim they have been unfairly bullied (and are therefore justified in attacking others).
What happened in the Twitch stream? Did Goons spam the channel with vulgar words and shameful epitaphs? Surely, Materall wouldn’t whine about nothing? However, when I watched the video, I realized the Imperium did nothing wrong.
Frankly, the chat logs are exceedingly tame.
Basically, flying bumblebees.
There were a few criticisms…
…nothing that crossed any kind of line.
It was basically every other Twitch stream.
It was a ‘raid’.
Carebears keep trying to change culture, denouncing “bullies” and “griefers”. It’s reached the point where cartoon bees are considered violent. We need to remember that the real bullies are those who hide behind virtue signalling and manufactured outrage, demanding that others be punished for imaginary offenses.
Umm… It’s just dumb.
So umm, I’m just gonna, umm, kill all the umm carebears (in game).
I’m originally from Agil.
Lately, I spend a lot of time in Isanamo.
There’s something special about this place.
I’ve made a lot of friends here.
We all work together, and keep the system clean.
Whenever I log in, the locals greet me.
There’s always something happening in sunny Isa.
It’s just a safe place to mine.
Feel free to drop by and visit!
Cya!
It’s rough out there in Highsec.
There sure are a lot of gankers.
They don’t even care about isk.
It’s best to stay SAFE.
Your lawyers won’t save you.
Abject submission is your only hope.
So calm down and surrender.
It’s for the best.
Highsec is a miner’s prison.
