Agents – Page 34 – ‎James 315 Space

Novus Plebo

I’ve heard that I am to blame for the collapse of CODE.

James 315 knows the truth. I tried to save the alliance, but he wanted to die, so we could move on.

My critics hail from another alliance, from a backwards whiteknight dimension, where the CODE. logo is not orange… but blue. These former fans praise their version of James, a boring gankbear named Hrothgar, who doesn’t even blog. Hrothgar left the New Order, but still craves the fame and the legacy. He uses the CODE. logo like a blue module, which he plagiarized to maximize his isk/hr.

Let me be clear. I left the CODE. alliance, because I saw no future in the alliance without James. In contrast, Hrothgar saw no future with James. His axis of autism is composed of salty former fans, who left CODE. before James quit blogging. They deleted their mining permits, and renounced James. Oh yes, they did.

I was recently checking for mining permits, when I stumbled across a counterfeit. Oh sure, it looks legitimate, but it doesn’t mention Aiko (or James). James loved me so much, that he wrote about my beauty and grace, but he forgot to mention either of us in this mining permit? Puh-leez. Here we witness a forgery.

Aiko Danuja > Why are you pretending to be CODE, with a blue James logo?
Darkside Tickler > you mention all these names…james…ets
Darkside Tickler > but i have no idea who that is
Aiko Danuja > Yeh, exactly…

So I killed the illegal miner.

Whadda was disgusted.

What kind of New Order agent would sell a permit for just 10 million isk, as if it’s some worthless piece of cheap trash?

Do you want proof that I’m the heiress to James 315?

Without a word from me, my alt’s alt can delete your fake permit, and sell the miner a permit that’s three times more valuable.

This is why James left me in charge, not you.

Cheers!

Luci Gotti Criesalot

Previously, we learned about Luci Gotti, and the ice assassins.

Here are some logs!

Luci Gotti > you use macros
Luci Gotti > Goose Bee Goose Cee Goose Dee Goose Fee Goose Gee
Luci Gotti > you use macros
Goose Lee > Gf
Luci Gotti > you hit f1 on 25 accounts within .05 seconds

Luci accused the geese of cheating.

Goose Lee > My hands are fast
Luci Gotti > no they arent
Luci Gotti > IP checked
Luci Gotti > all one IP
Cyras The Virus > I smell BS, how did you “IP Check” that many accounts that fast…

He did IP checks to prove it.

Goose Lee > Stay dead noob
Luci Gotti > server timer tick check
Luci Gotti > .05 seconds
Luci Gotti > within the same tick
Luci Gotti > of eve servers you hit f1 25 times
Luci Gotti > from the same IP address
Luci Gotti > you think im a noob LOL

Luci knows a macro hack when he sees it.

Luci Gotti > you cheated
Goose Lee > I cheated you from your loot
Luci Gotti > his 25 accounts are on one computer
Luci Gotti > one IP address
Luci Gotti > f1 25 times in .05 seconds
Luci Gotti > yeah, no one can hit that many f1’s
Goose Lee > My guns are actually on F2
Luci Gotti > marco users
Luci Gotti > macros
Luci Gotti > yeah all of them
Goose Lee > dead

Lee suggested that Luci submit a ticket.

Goose Lee > File a complaint to CCP
Luci Gotti > yeah, youre a dev huh
Luci Gotti > you are arent you
Luci Gotti > you work for CCP
Goose Lee > They will say, “Hello Luci Gotti, You’re a moron.Thanks”

However, Luci knows that Goose Lee is CCP Goose.

Goose Lee > I’m not a dev nor do I work for CCP.
Goose Lee > I’m just a player
Luci Gotti > you cheated
Luci Gotti > bro youre botted
Luci Gotti > you hit f1 25 times fater than a human can
Luci Gotti > hit f2 25 times in less than 0.1 seconds bro
Goose Lee > What can I say, my hands are just really fast
Luci Gotti > you are cheating bro
Luci Gotti > how can you lock and fire 25 accounts in under 2 seconds
Luci Gotti > with a 1.6 seconds lock tim LOLOL
Luci Gotti > try it
Luci Gotti > ITS NOT POSSIBLE
Goose Lee > What is my IP
Luci Gotti > stop trying to convince me when we all know you botting bro
Luci Gotti > you are using macros and repeaters and all sorts of crap
Goose Lee > So report us to CCP if we’re cheating
Luci Gotti > i dont care what you say bro, logic, and proof shows you are

With logic and proof, Luci made his case.

Luci Gotti > you are a dev, and your job is to cause spending which is illegal, or you are macro using HS ganker LOL
Luci Gotti > bro, you cheat, and bot, and use macros, on 25 accountsd to high sec gank LOLOL
Luci Gotti > i can explain it
Luci Gotti > bro hes macro botting
Cyras The Virus > no he is not…
Luci Gotti > and 50 acoutns
Luci Gotti > macro;’d botted
Luci Gotti > Goose Lee hey goosde i fucked you mom
Goose Lee > I fucked your freighter
Luci Gotti > Goosie, i fucked you sister too and your mom at the same time LOL
Luci Gotti > it was insestual
Luci Gotti > report me
Luci Gotti > for having insest weith your mom and sister LOL

Luci’s argument was most reasonable.

Goose Lee > I think you’re mad
Luci Gotti > come on man
Luci Gotti > am i harassing oyu?
Luci Gotti > am i harassing you bro?
Luci Gotti > i put your sister on top of your mom
Luci Gotti > then fucked them both
Luci Gotti > macro using chump
Luci Gotti > your cheating LOL
Luci Gotti > it wont matter, i’ll get all my stuff back from CCP, simply because you cheated
Luci Gotti > but hey, you are they type of person who cheats in a 18 year old video game in HIGH SEC
Luci Gotti > hey your mom sucks goast dick
Luci Gotti > LOL
Kapitane Bombardiero > well that is rude

This is who antigankers support.

Luci Gotti > you cheated LOL
Luci Gotti > you used a macro
Luci Gotti > you locked 25 ships within 1 second
Luci Gotti > not possible
Luci Gotti > then you fired on all 25 accounts within .05 seconds
Luci Gotti > again not possible
Luci Gotti > you are a cheater and you cheat, to fight non war ships in high sec
Luci Gotti > your that low LOL
Luci Gotti > and i fucked you mom and your sister on top of each other
Luci Gotti > cause you’re a cheter

That’s cool, I guess. You can do what you want in the sandbox.

Luci Gotti > i can agent locate you and follow you around
Luci Gotti > you fucking moron
Goose Lee > I live in Odin
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > sorry was that spamming
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > im spamming bro
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?

I’m glad to be on the winning team.

Luci Gotti > Goose Bee Goose Cee Goose Dee Goose Fee Goose Gee so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > Goose Bee Goose Cee Goose Dee Goose Fee Goose Gee so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > Goose Bee Goose Cee Goose Dee Goose Fee Goose Gee so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > Goose Bee Goose Cee Goose Dee Goose Fee Goose Gee so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > Goose Bee Goose Cee Goose Dee Goose Fee Goose Gee so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > Goose Bee Goose Cee Goose Dee Goose Fee Goose Gee so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > Goose Bee Goose Cee Goose Dee Goose Fee Goose Gee so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > Goose Bee Goose Cee Goose Dee Goose Fee Goose Gee so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Luci Gotti > Goose Bee Goose Cee Goose Dee Goose Fee Goose Gee so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?
Taibhse Dom > If you guys manage to catch one of my freighters coming through please remind me not to bitch about being stupid likt that idiot
Luci Gotti > Goose Bee Goose Cee Goose Dee Goose Fee Goose Gee so goose when youre setting up that macro for those accounts are you using a bot repeater or a multi clicker?

Nobody likes a windowlicking more on whinebaby.

Ice Assassin

Luci Gotti lost a freighter.

So he sent an assassin to kill Sargon.

The assassin was a ganker, but not a very good one.

My elite antigankers always win, with 0 damage.

Afterward, there were some emails.

I guess the assassin is also an ice miner?

Remember, bulkheads go around your cargo hold, not inside it.

There’s really only one response.

It’s guaranteed to get a response.

Always!

tanktheface

tanktheface lost his Iteron, and a Caracal.

He didn’t care.

He enjoyed full SRP, after losing someone else’s ship.

Despite not caring, tank vowed that someone else would extract revenge.

vault 4+2 (aka vault 6) was on the case!

tanktheface > the man it was knows has give me 50mil… and a new order
tanktheface > he on discord now…so mad
Aiko Danuja > He’s mad at himself for trusting you?
tanktheface > thats why i get the big isk

tank gloated, sending proof of the incoming attack.

Aiko was alarmed. What if 4+2 actually had a battlecruiser?

Furthermore, tank had killrights.

The situation was bleak.

Fortunately, his corporation subsidizes incompetence.

Now we own the Hammer of God.

What an astonishing turn of events!

4+2 is one salty taskforce.

Cordillia denied being a 4+2 agent.

She claimed we are liars, like Biden.

What’s wrong with Sleepy Joe?

Meanwhile, Cordillia (the Orca pilot) insisted that she isn’t a miner.

I think she might be the liar.

Regardless, she wasn’t very calm.

Why was she so angry?

Oh! I guess she is a miner.

Cordillia > You don’t know me, i Just returned to this game after 3 years of military duty in Afganistan. Now you want to tell me that I am a MINING Addicted person. WOW have you all fucking lost it
Whadda Badasaz > The issue here is not your service record, but your mining record.
Northbridge West > That went well over there, didn’t it?
Cordillia > REPORTED
Cordillia > your all safe at home
Cordillia > hiding under your bed
Cordillia > your so far ass whips to me

Storytime

Previously, on Princess Aiko’s #1 Best Blog… Ann Mari lost her freighter and her pod, but wasn’t salty. In fact, like Coach Subway, she’s so rich she doesn’t care. Indeed, she can get revenge by losing more isk – right?

We are always fair, and honest. If you don’t read the blog, or memorize the CODE, or appreciate all the wonderful mysterious ways that Aiko has spun a magical web across the galaxy – well, friend, that’s going to cost you.

Aiko Danuja > It looks like you ran into my Uedama team…
Aiko Danuja > Ann Mari you owe 50 billion isk, so you can pay now
Ann Mari > I’ll take my chances thanks
Aiko Danuja > They are professionals Ann. You need to take this more seriously.
Aiko Danuja > You are a convicted mining offender.
Ann Mari > Necck beards might fall at her feet…. I’m old, I’m married, I’m male…. I just do not care
MarshallTeagan > Princess Aiko Danuja is female i have heard her angelic voice.
Ann Mari > I’m not buying into your lil mafia sccheme

Ann vowed that ~~she~~ he would never give me an isk.

To get revenge, he began sending my alts and friends all his isk and ships, in a dubious plot to make me feel left out. Before long, he was bankrupt and destitute, so he needed to convince his bank that he really wanted to throw more money into some suspicious Icelandic shell company owned by North Koreans.

After getting a taste of erotic Aiko fanfic, Ann was hooked. He needed more.

While CODE. was on autopilot, Safety. agents were hard at work.

Within my Why Was I Ganked? channel, Ann began to execute his devious plot. He would pay for erotic stories about Aiko, which would humiliate and disgrace the Princess, and NONE of the money would go to Aiko.

There was nothing I could do to stop it.

My own girlfriend betrayed me.

Ann was so delighted, he gave Alleil a generous tip.

I was humiliated, but Ann was just getting started.

Everyone had a story to tell.

The truth about Aiko was finally coming out.

Ann was going to RUIN me…

…but first, he needed more money.

To be continued…

Fw: Re: Demands

Previously, on !MinerBumping… we learned about the camwhores of Uedama, and discovered that Princess Aiko is bad at micromanaging you (unlike James 315, a big strong leader). There was EPIC Danuja salt, after she learned people who don’t log in are unhappy with her inactivity, and this metastorm is expected to last indefinitely.

When Aiko discovered the presence of rival camwhores, she did the one thing that is guaranteed to accomplish absolutely nothing. She reported the bots to CCP, along with screenshots and an evidentiary video.

After a few minutes, CCP concluded a full investigation, determining that humanoid player beings are content to spend all day staring at a Taint Licker (whilst steadily slowly scrolling up and down in local chat).

CCP sent Aiko a dismissive reply, closing the case. As they presumably decided, the real ‘content’ of the stream was Taint Licker himself, and surely the Uedama gatecam was not actually intended to show viewers the gate.

Aiko just couldn’t stop crying.

She began spewing increasingly EPIC princess salt across the Icelandic wastes.

Fortunately, someone has at least bothered to login and do something. Cheng went after Jim Otsadat’s obvious bot, Hamanin Haginen.

Dolphin Don went after the other camwhores.

Afterward, Sargon wondered if Jim would purchase broadcast rights.

This intrigued Jim, who saw an opportunity to obtain Safety. and eliminate competition.

Sargon has studied my blog, learning the value of an upsell.

Jim is one happy botter.

He just wishes he could get back into my channel: Why Was I Ganked?

No bots allowed!

Now go away. I’m busy planning your schedule.

Golem Resurrected

Ann Mari found Safety… and the CODE.

Inpendius > James 315 can eat my filthy ass.
Ann Mari > This is a game
Inpendius > saviour my cock
Ann Mari > I mean this is mafia irl.
Inpendius > your code is meant to benefit the few at the expense of the weak masses. repugnant at best.
Ann Mari > Pay to win

Like many miners, she refused to buy a mining permit.

This would cost her.

Sargon Of Amerish > Ann Mari sounds like you could use a warm glass of milk.
Whadda Badasaz > She’s crying and attention seeking.
Sargon Of Amerish > poor thing
Ann Mari > I have brandy and ccoke lol.

Indeed, she began to annoy me.

Ann Mari > Can we at least agree that my boobs are better than Aiko Danuja ‘s?
Cute Gank > No
Sargon Of Amerish > yours are fake
Donatien Alphonse Francois > Aiko is a princess
Whadda Badasaz > Aiko is a feminist
Zynot Idama > im not objectifing Aiko Danuja
Ann Mari > I am a dirty miner
Zynot Idama > Ann Mari did you have to pay plex for your implants?

Fortunately, the Dolphins came to my rescue.

However, Ann wouldn’t shut up.

Ann Mari > I’m not buying into your lil mafia sccheme forget it, and fucck off
Ann Mari > Work, you lazy scum XDDDD
Ann Mari > This isn’tt socialism 101
Ann Mari > Check my boobs
Ann Mari > Have I said that reccently?
Ann Mari > I don;’t mine…. I rlly rlly don’t

I kicked her from Why Was I Ganked?, and she invited me to but hurt much.

Aiko Danuja > Look at you, all dressed up like a strumpet
Ann Mari > Aiko Danuja 2018.06.14
Ann Mari > I have been around for nearly 20 years
Aiko Danuja > Imagine how badly you have failed at EVE, that here you are, being talked down to by a 2018 player.
Ann Mari > nothing will ccome of this….

It was time to give her a lesson in Highsec 101.

Aiko Danuja > You aren’t even a wallet warrior, you are just a wallet miner.
Ann Mari > Need a new brandy and coke…. brb

She thought she was winning.

So she decided to embarrass me with an impromptu erotic fan-fic contest.

I’m a published professional writer, available for hire.

Ann Mari > So tell me more about the girl and the men that surround her? Where di you guys meet etc?
Whadda Badasaz > I met her at Fan Fest
Donatien Alphonse Francois > We met in Princess Aiko’s castle in Lichtenstein.
Whadda Badasaz > her dad is some bigwig in goonswarm
Ann Mari > For a good story, I’ll pay
MarshallTeagan > ok send 30 mil
Ann Mari > ok go

Marshall was the first winner, and Ann paid.

The alcohol was in charge.

Ann Mari > I want to get right to the dirty stuff that all you guys wanna do to this princess of yours…. Get it good
Whadda Badasaz > I’d like to hold her hand.
Ann Mari > hold hands? just kill yourself if that’s all you want to do with a blah blah blah priness…. voice like a … I forget… goddess? Jesus…. I’d expecct anal to be like the first stop

Dolphin Don was the next winner.

Donatien Alphonse Francois > Aiko moaned lustfully as the arachnid filled her up. It wasted no time in pounding its large member against her cervix. It hurt, but it was a pain filled with pleasure, and her body tensed as an orgasm hit her hard. The spider’s venom was some mix of hormones…

It was a terrible story, with a surprise ending involving a tentacle monster.

However, Ann liked it. She wanted more.

Ann Mari > Come on guys gimme real shhit. Tell everyone it’s fake…. Tell the real story, get paid, have deniability…..
Whadda Badasaz > i have a fake story about aiko
Whadda Badasaz > when i saw her at fanfest she was jumping up and down in her miniskirt, grinding against the mittani
Whadda Badasaz > I asked her to dance with me but i dont think she heard me or maybe she was ignoring me im not sure
Whadda Badasaz > his hands went around behind her and he pulled up her skirt and i could see she wasnt wearing anything underneath
Whadda Badasaz > later she got really drunk and i think they were snorting lines
Whadda Badasaz > i watched her giving a blowjob to james 315, and it was really hot, then i felt dizzy just thinking about it
Whadda Badasaz > I LIKE HER FEET
Ann Mari > fucck

Now this is the kind of stuff you won’t get from a MinerBumping post…

Ann felt sorry for poor Whadda.

She read the story, again and again, and each time Whadda received another royalty check.

Ann was so delighted to hear the truth about Aiko, she decided to reward everyone.

Whadda won the grand prize.

I looked at zkillboard and found a recently deceased Golem.

Some people say I’m a witch, and those people are right.

I put a spell on Ann, and brought that dead Golem back to life.

Ann celebrated her victory, having paid my alts to betray my darkest secrets.

The only thing left to do, was lose a freighter to some random pod that Aaaarrgg shot.

Zynot Idama > and nice boobs Ann Mari
Ann Mari > Thanks!!!!
Zynot Idama > np

Women love flattery.

Now that’s how you score!

When you hang out with me, ships just fall from the sky!

That’s how I roll!

Victory!

Tainted

Cersei shot a miner.

An alt was apparently aggrieved.

This miner doesn’t like Cersei, or me.

He knew Cersei was either old…

…or young?

Regardless, he questioned her virgin honour.

Does EVE Online have any fair fights?

Why doesn’t Cersei go back to nullsec?

Why would anyone want to shoot Highsec miners?

The miner was beginning to contemplate his loss.

Perhaps Cersei offers SRP?

The miner was willing to negotiate.

However, Cersei had a tough counter-offer.

The situation was bleak.

It was time for threats.

It was time to get serious.

This is why we shoot miners.

This is the content they deserve.

Also, it’s kind of amusing.

The miners seem to enjoy it.

They just need a friend.

Someone who can help them stay calm.

07 James 315, wherever you are.

As for Nabalug, he was content.

So he decided to check out Zaenis Desef’s twitch stream.

Another Day

Oh, hello there.

Yes, that’s right.

As General Secretary General, I meet a lot of fascinating people.

I listen to a lot of complaints.

I know what happens when miners don’t have a permit.

I know what happens when miners have a permit.

We are a blue ribbon tier organization.

I love the froth.

I love the isk.

I love the miners.

I love winning.

I love justice.

Recently, I was sent an irl photo of the Mittani’s whiteboard.

I’m the best!

Princess Criesalot

I just wanted to be the sexist woman in the galaxy.

I wanted to meet men, and take their stuff.

Unfortunately, like Dorothy, I’m not in Kansas anymore.

Princess tears are the sweetest saltiest tears in the galaxy.

When loyalanon learned that Aiko wants to shoot freighters, he promptly got himself permabanned. When Erotica 1 learned that she enjoys variety shows, he went straight to prison. When James 315 learned that Aiko loves reading a blog about dead miners, he bought a one way ticket to Hek. So now I’ve got to be the best ganker, gameshow host, and blogger, but I’ve still got to find time for love.

Yesterday, I started crying because there is a great video out there, in which some streamer gets dunked. I wanted to share that with you, dear reader, but Discord is trash. Amidst all the spam, shittalk, random conversations, sheer autism, and endless sperging… things just vanish up the content stream, never to be seen again.

The boys in Discord are consummate professionals, and they don’t miss a beat. When their Princess started bawling, they immediately fixated on her trigger, turning the Discord into an endless dirge of utterly inane garbage.