Jump freighters disgust me.
They deserve Safety.
EVOLA is going out of business.
It’s the end of an era.
Oh well!
The End
EVOLA FIRESALE
Category: Agents
Puppers Gets a Gila
Prince Puppers wanted a Gila.
He wasn’t joking.
Puppers wanted to be a Gila main.
Oh boy, a discount Gila!
He sold everything he had…
…to buy a Moa.
Oh, it’s a free Moa…
With premium insurance!
So Puppers went to fetch his new Gila.
GrrrrrrrrrGROONSgaaarRRrr/
Puppers tried to get around the grief blockade.
So he employed null security comms.
This went as well as one might expect.
Puppers even tried a wormhole!
His friends were happy to help.
Meanwhile, Sargon was at the foot dentist.
When Sargon returned, he noticed the problem.
The Goons were using an isk tracker.
So Sargon cleaned Puppers out.
Eventually, Puppers contacted me.
He seemed confused.
The next day, everyone wondered about Puppers.
Apparently, his new home was in Thera?
Who told him to go there?
Eventually, Puppers just bought a Gila.
Another happy ending!
Cheerzah!
Neurotica 1, Part 7
Listening to: Dark Techno 2018
Previously, Erotica 1 was permabanned.
Afterward, he developed a cunning plan.
He decided to get rich, quick.
PLOT SUMMARY: Our anti-hero, Erotica 1, permabanned from EvE Online, wipes the sweat from his brow. “Eureka!”, he exclaims whilst committing securities fraud, selling fake cryptocurrency NFTs in order to purchase CCP and unban himself. This would prove to the courts, that Erotica 1 is a successful businessman. Along the way, he planned to make a trillion isk, through a legitimate galactic bank.
As an initial first step, he exploited his own IRL infant daughter, and tried to recruit a few EvE players.
His ‘friends’ were concerned.
Surprisingly, the scam worked.
Erotica (aka Justin) sold an NFT buy-in to his first mark, rounding $5000 up to $30000, with the expectation of future profits.
This is a story of sex, crypto, federal law, and crazy.
As a woman, I often feel uppity.
Am I a space Karen…
…or a reasonably concerned citizen?
I decided not to commit securities fraud.
No thank you!
Buckle in, it’s gonna be a WILD RIDE.
If subpoenaed, I will testify in court.
To be continued…
Save Your Ship
Ludwik had a decision to make.
He decided to be a miner.
Nobody likes a liar.
Oh well!
Meanwhile, Grous Aideron was insolent.
This went well.
What a whinebear.
Atlote also had a temper tantrum.
Just another goblok…
Will the miners ever calm down?
Likely not!
Highsec Recruiting
Recently, Goose considered a return to Highsec.
There’s a lot of geese!
Recruiting channels buzzed with the good news.
Banned for life, GM Goose is back!
So I agreed to an interview.
Oh, there’s that deadbeat Luci Gotti.
He’s worthless.
Ok, but what about Goose?
They accused him of multiboxing.
That’s a real thing!
As proof, Dr Tron cited Reddit.
Fascinating…
Hucker Carlson investigates…
I spoke truth to the powerless.
However, I was also hungry.
Meanwhile, Dr Tron decided to pick a fight.
We will hear more from Mason, soon!
Meanwhile, Dr Tron became desperate for attention.
Miners sure are silly!
To be continued…
Krig’s Korner, Episode 9
Hello friendos, it’s me Ryan, aka Krig Povelli.
Recently, I found myself in a situation.
Michal asked me to be his life coach.
However, I take a firm stand against bigotry.
Michal dropped a casual M-word.
Reverse reverse discrimination is not ok.
Once upon a time, Michal was a good man.
Now he is an old miser.
He just wanted a free ship.
Otherwise, he threatened to quit.
Tough love is the best love.
I urged Michal to stop whining.
Nobody likes a poor.
Fortunately, it was time for bed.
Good night Michal!
Later, in bed, he composed a brief letter.
Krig’s Korner, Episode 8
My name is Krig Povelli.
That’s an anagram for friend.
However, Michal is not friendly.
All he cares about is money.
So I urged him to get a job.
However, Michal doesn’t want to work.
Instead, he just wants to play the race card.
I speak truth to power!
Michal is a miner, a racist, and a liar.
To be continued…
Krig’s Korner, Episode 6
Hoo boy, it’s me, Krig Povelli.
When we aren’t filming, I enjoy EvE Online.
Recently, I met Michael Michal Somebody or whoever.
He was desperate for help!
Afterward, Michal gave me a free Golem.
This made me wonder…
Apparently, he also owned another ship.
So I taught him how to make a contract.
Afterward, we fleeted up, and had tea.
This post is sponsored by Taylors Of Harrogate.
In any hostage crisis, Taylors will set you at ease.
To be continued…
Lonely Miner
CABO4EVER > mack, realy?
CABO4EVER > CAME ALL THE WAY JUST TO SAY hi TO cabo?
CABO4EVER > PEOPLE, THIS IS A GANKER
Hello CABO.
CABO4EVER > you tried to kill my mack..remember?
CABO4EVER > CONCORDE?
CABO4EVER > OFCOURSE, WHAT HAD YOU EXPECTED?
CABO4EVER > its high sec, mate..
CABO was pleased to collect killrights.
CABO4EVER > 26 days 26 days..23 days…26 days.. have the time, dont worry:) i amwatching you ALL…every step…
Zopiclone > activate my killright
CABO4EVER > i could be your daddy , son…
CABO4EVER > perhaps grandpa…kid..
Zopiclone > Please activate the KR on me
CABO4EVER > you wont be in a CAT, promissed..when you go BOOOOMMM! ill be camping out there when you are in your shiny BS…..KAAABBBOOOOOOMMM!1
Other miners were not impressed.
Rozo Druprime > lol he’s so stupid
Ellena Saisima > miners have no teeth so he wont actually do anything
CABO4EVER > it said i could bring friends…and thats what i am going to do.. but only when it hurts, realy hurts, lmao
Eyghynouel en Thielles > he accused me of being a “ganker” and i’ve only been playing for a week
Rozo Druprime > lol yeah he’s a retard, ignore him.
CABO4EVER > you read about those agents that can locate any player anywhere, right? and surprisely….KAAABBOOOMMM, BANG YOU R DEAD, LMAO!!!!
CABO4EVER > LMAO
CABO is a lonely miner.
CABO4EVER > i have no one to talk to..cause of those filthy gankers 🙁 lets buried the axe, come harvest with me
Rozo Druprime > not even his “friends” want him in their corps. he’s looking for a new mining corp cause he got kicked out of all the other ones lol
CABO4EVER > i am a miner, not a fighter…:)
SURPRISE! Part 2
Krig Povelli attended a Star Trek themed birthday.
All ROB’s friends (and alts) were there.
However, ROB vowed to kick Krig’s alt, and biomass.
ROB plays EvE Online in ironman mode.
Skywalker dropped a race card, reminding me of another miner, with a Star Trek name. This was HanSolo01 (along with HanSolo02 and HanSolo03), who happened to be piloting Hulks accompanying Skywalker. As I recall, HanSolo once made an appearance in minerbumping. This miner claimed gankers are racist, because they discriminate against the Russian “race”. Is Skywalker the victim of NATO discrimination?
Regardless, Krig’s alt Lucy had an objection.
It’s the old “It’s my birthday, and I’ll cry if I want to” scam.
You would cry too, if it happened to you.
ROB decided to evacuate.
Lucy encouraged Skywalker to hurry.
Before biomassing, would Skywalker grant Lucy a medal?
I’m a boss b, but Skywalker is not.
Krig: 5 – Skywalker: 0
Skywalker needed to sober up and focus.
Would Lucy get a medal?
He told Lucy to get fucked, over and over.
ROB Skywalker was a bad sport.
He didn’t want to award a medal.
Fortunately, it was a happy birthday.
So, about that medal?
Skywalker was not mad.
He would rather die, than honor Lucy’s success.
Ultimately, ROB was not yet ready to biomass.
