Trun Goes Potty

Trun had to pee.

I know, cuz he told me.

Gross!

He is not a happy miner.

Trun has a potty mouth.

What a naughty little goblok.

He pled not guilty.

However, he was found guilty by a jury of his superiors.

For one thing, he is guilty of antiganking.

He’s also guilty of needing help.

What a pitiful bear.

So naturally, he had a temper tantrum.

Crazy!

Oh… he had more to say.

The phantom provision lives on!

Wow, this miner still yapping?

Miners disgust me.

He concluded by gaslighting everyone…

…and urging us to have more sex.

He also threatened to report us.

I don’t think he likes us.

What a silly!

#FREE NEFFI

Listening to: Democracy Manifest

Well, hello there.

One day, the ban hammer slipped.

Neffi Cake (aka Luci Gotti) got banned, permanently, maybe.

Investigative Princess Aiko investigates…

Meanwhile, ISD Redacted was summoned to space court.

Likewise, Redline doesn’t care.

The other miners accuse CCP of international crimes.

Damning chatlogs prove CCP devs are Snuffed Out alts.

Of course, they deny everything.

So Neffi banned all the CCP/Snuff devs from his discord.

Seems legit.

The truth is out there.

Is Neffi going to prison?

No, that’s Adrian Vexier…

Neffi was banned for something else.

Why???

Fortunately, Neffi has contacted a higher power.

NATO forces are on high alert.

Reddits have been reddited…

… and unreddited.

CCP fought the law, and the law won.

Snuffed Out is going to the big house.

Neffi just wants to play EvE Online.

Will Hellmar unban his biggest fan?

This is a paid advertisement…

omg he’s soooo hot

Did Neffi do anything wrong?

Regardless, Neffi will continue trying to login.

As always, Highsec gankers stand with Neffi.

We want him to undock.

Just let him play, and we will take care of him…

Save the whales!

Cheerzah!

To be continued?

*BONUS CONTENT*
***BEHIND THE SCENES LIVEBLOG***

Krig’s Korner, Episode 10

Krig’s Korner, Episode 9

Princess Aiko is the best.

She always blog about ME))))

haha I’m not an NPC l’mao

283 + a blueprint?

…and an Orca… plus a Hulk?

That’s not what I asked for!

Haha, keep blogging space secretary.

Keep going, u dumb b.

There’s more…

I tried Aiko… and she blogged about it.

She loves blogging, especially with me.

Haha, I hope that miner writes her daily.

Aiko wasn’t a lezzi last night))))

I bet she wants to blog me again.

That girl is annoyed, paranoid, and full of void.

Puppers Gets a Gila

Prince Puppers wanted a Gila.

He wasn’t joking.

Puppers wanted to be a Gila main.

Oh boy, a discount Gila!

He sold everything he had…

…to buy a Moa.

Oh, it’s a free Moa…

With premium insurance!

So Puppers went to fetch his new Gila.

GrrrrrrrrrGROONSgaaarRRrr/

Puppers tried to get around the grief blockade.

So he employed null security comms.

This went as well as one might expect.

Puppers even tried a wormhole!

His friends were happy to help.

Meanwhile, Sargon was at the foot dentist.

When Sargon returned, he noticed the problem.

The Goons were using an isk tracker.

So Sargon cleaned Puppers out.

Eventually, Puppers contacted me.

He seemed confused.

The next day, everyone wondered about Puppers.

Apparently, his new home was in Thera?

Who told him to go there?

Eventually, Puppers just bought a Gila.

Another happy ending!

Cheerzah!

Neurotica 1, Part 8

Listening to: Happy Miner Payout

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously, Erotica 1 decided to buy CCP.

I play EvE Online, and I know something about business.

Isk doubling is illegal in real-life. lololololol…

Here are some some red flags. LoL!

So let me be clear.

Never go full Fighter Jets Guitarsolo.

Erotica just wanted me to invest.

I would tell a grand jury, something seemed wrong.

This concern only grew.

Erotica sold 60 ‘units’, ‘valued’ at $30’000, for $5000.

Does that sound legal?

Would you invest?

He was selling NFTs that never even existed.

Real-life investments are not guaranteed.

This was textbook securities fraud. Ironic. Ha!

Erotica knew exactly what he was doing.

He was inspired by real life scams.

This was getting weird.

Really weird.

With his $5000, Erotica went all in on cryptogirls.

Then he began blocking all the doubters.

To be continued…

Neurotica 1, Part 7

Listening to: Dark Techno 2018

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously, Erotica 1 was permabanned.

Afterward, he developed a cunning plan.

He decided to get rich, quick.

PLOT SUMMARY: Our anti-hero, Erotica 1, permabanned from EvE Online, wipes the sweat from his brow. “Eureka!”, he exclaims whilst committing securities fraud, selling fake cryptocurrency NFTs in order to purchase CCP and unban himself. This would prove to the courts, that Erotica 1 is a successful businessman. Along the way, he planned to make a trillion isk, through a legitimate galactic bank.

As an initial first step, he exploited his own IRL infant daughter, and tried to recruit a few EvE players.

His ‘friends’ were concerned.

Surprisingly, the scam worked.

Erotica (aka Justin) sold an NFT buy-in to his first mark, rounding $5000 up to $30000, with the expectation of future profits.

This is a story of sex, crypto, federal law, and crazy.

As a woman, I often feel uppity.

Am I a space Karen…

…or a reasonably concerned citizen?

I decided not to commit securities fraud.

No thank you!

Buckle in, it’s gonna be a WILD RIDE.

If subpoenaed, I will testify in court.

To be continued…

Highsec Recruiting, Part 3

Highsec Recruiting, Part 1

Previously, newbro Mason vowed to destroy me.

This would require preparation.

Mason was excited by the thought of PvP with me.

In EvE Online, PvP is a sign of genuine affection.

Our relationship began to blossom.

However, I don’t like impudence.

Mason is a real miner.

Whereas, I am a perfect tenth-wave feminist!

Like all miners, he is a cyberbully greefer.

Fortunately, Mason began to regret his evil ways.

It was time to turn over a leaf…

My expectations were clear.

I demanded an isk sacrifice, for me.

So Mason sent his life savings.

Now I have Mason right where I want him.

He hates being told what to do…

…but now he has new friends, and a new corporation.

Everyone was impressed!

It was the start of a new era.

Mason is my miner.

I sure hope we get along!

What a good boy.

He deserves me!

Cheerzah!

Highsec Recruiting

Recently, Goose considered a return to Highsec.

There’s a lot of geese!

Recruiting channels buzzed with the good news.

Banned for life, GM Goose is back!

So I agreed to an interview.

Oh, there’s that deadbeat Luci Gotti.

He’s worthless.

Ok, but what about Goose?

They accused him of multiboxing.

That’s a real thing!

As proof, Dr Tron cited Reddit.

Fascinating…

Hucker Carlson investigates…

I spoke truth to the powerless.

However, I was also hungry.

Meanwhile, Dr Tron decided to pick a fight.

We will hear more from Mason, soon!

Meanwhile, Dr Tron became desperate for attention.

Miners sure are silly!

To be continued…

Real Talk

I like to have fun.

Recently, I reported breaking news.

Zazz is a former fan.

Remember the good old days, when Zazz still played EvE Online, after James 315 ragequit two years before?

Haha. Remember that time The Aggressor dunked James, who spent eight (8!) years writing a therapy blog, before disappearing, just like he did after his previous hobby involving… political content?

Me and James 315, we agree on politics like Ocasio-Cortez and Mitch. However, the old turtle has been dead for years. His CODE. was a tea party, astroturfed by George, which collapsed when the bubble burst. I am more sophisticated than that. By applying the principles of Hari Seldon, the Order has evolved into a grassroots autocracy.

Many battles, she emerged victorious,
Leaving her foes feeling notorious.

#SouthSide

Bards don’t hiphop for Zazz.

James was a funny man, but I’m not.

I’m just here to help.

Some miners yearn for the old Minerbumping, with Annie Frank who on September 6, 2018, said “You did really good work. I really appreciate your new and different post. Please guys keep it up and share with us some unique post in the futureMenmy shopCar Stereo Double Din Android Player Hyepersonic Double Din Player Hyundai Creta Double Din Player CBSE open school cbse private banzaraon journeyAdj online.”

James always believed in me, even if Zazz lost faith.

I don’t think this is funny.

Who writes erotic fanfic about me and James, in the belt?

I get it… This is an ‘origin’ story.

Grrr. Hulksgarrrrr hathat. Hulkgeddon SMASH

“Praise Aiko!” is reverberated throughout the entire starbase, again and again, as the fleet takes off. Today, the miners will be hunted. Today, the miners will once again know fear.

It goes on, and reaches a happy ending.


Neurotica 1, Part 5

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously… Erotica 1 was a very bad boy.

You can listen to one bonus round here.

Just go ahead and open your inventory, select all your assets, and contract those to me. Ok?

Ok. What, wait? What am I doing? Why? Fuck you.

Here is an authentic customer testimonial:

I agree wholeheartedly that the “bonus room” is just what Jester described: A torture chamber. I had the “pleasure” of becoming a bonus room contestant earlier this week, and it’s just as bad as it sounds. I had just come into some PLEX as a gift and had ISK to burn, so I – foolishly – decided to try out Erotica 1’s “ISK Doubling Service.” To my amazement, I actually “won” and my ISK was doubled. I double checked his rules, and tried to submit more ISK. This time, though, I was told that I had won a bonus room, and I had a chance to earn even more ISK by demonstrating my faith. I wasn’t really interested, but I had no other chance to get the ISK that I had put in back. I got into the bonus room, and after a bit of discussion, I was promised that I would get five times my investment if I showed complete faith. I didn’t want to, but I felt so trapped, and the people in the room were very convincing. I finally began transferring all of my assets – about 5 billion ISK worth – to the members in the room. After they had all of my assets, they told me that I needed to complete a few additional tasks. Once again, I didn’t want to, but I felt like I had no choice, since they had all my assets. I had no idea what to do. They made me read some poetry and sections from various websites.

Erotica decided to try this in real life.

Step 1: He needed to create blogs.

During this step, he exploited his IRL infant’s name.

He also joined OnlyFans.

This became increasingly awkward.

Step 2: His ‘daughter’ began playing EvE Online.

Potential investors were confused.

Erotica was inspired by the inventor of ethical isk doubling.

Step 3: ?????

Step 4: PROFIT

To be continued…