Category: Always!

The Conference Elite

Guest Author
Tweeps (aka John E Normus)

Hello there.

I didn’t see you come in.

As you can see, the CODE. alliance was never more than a facade, built upon the mighty Conference Elite. A galactic alliance is nothing without TCE, and that’s an undeniable fact.

As the heiress of both James 315 and loyalanon, I now command the ship of state. Of course, wannabe orbiter plebs insist I never received a sacrosanct blessing, as if I need one.

Seems legit?

If James did not choose me – who did? It is one thing to be annointed, but if I crowned myself, then I am even more powerful. If James were invincible, I must be omnipotent!

After seizing command of TCE, I have delegated authority to my trusty lesbian sidekick, Alleil Pollard. Henceforth, as acting executor, Alleil will oversee the Byzantine bureaucracy.

Of course, the miners inevitably write me.

As you know, we are a PROUD antiganking guild.

I hope Alleil can keep up with the daily correspondence.

Good luck Alleil!

Bee well!

Miner Hunting Service

Listening to: Bubblegum Bitch

The MHS continues to earn dividends.

Send me isk, and your dreams will come true!

I love to help!

I’m like BLACKFLAG, but way more profitable.

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!

Just listen to these customer testimonials.

Haha, I love EvE Online.

*****

Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll
Don’t care if you think I’m dumb, I don’t care at all
Carebear, sweetie pie, wanna be adored
I’m the girl you’ll die for

I’ll chew you up, and I’ll spit you out
‘Cause that’s what ganking, is all about
So watch me close and orbit me hard
I’m gonna pop your bubblegum heart

I’m Miss Sugar Pink, liquor, liquor purple lips
Hit me with your sweet love, steal me with an isk
I’m a queentex, latex, I’m a ganking maid
Life gave me some lemons, so I made some lemonade
You will pop, baby, here I come
Straight to number one!

Oh, dear diary, I met a boy
He made my doll heart light up with joy
Oh, dear diary, his ship fell apart
Welcome to my life in EvE Online

lorrenzo nub Fails Again

Previously, we met lorrenzo nub.

lorrenzo doesn’t like us.

So he began building a space army.

However, first he went mining.

Ahbazon is a SAFE space.

As a findom, I expect tribute.

Of course, he also needed a mining permit.

Lorrenzo was happy, because mining permits are real.

Oh no!

Drone Task Force was on the case…

To be continued…

Valentines

Not all miners are IRL crybabies.

Some miners even get it.

Barnso was happy to meet a real-life Princess.

He likes the Why Was I Ganked? channel.

Barnso just wants to relax.

I know how to make men happy.

Barnso enjoyed his time with me.

Send isk, and help me build a SAFE space!

I don’t mind.

Barnso even wrote a poem!

What a good boy!

Cheers!

That’s right!

Seek Help

Play EvE Online responsibly.

Experienced agents are standing by.

We want to help you.

However, this is just a game.

Help is available.

I’d recommend Broadcast for Reps, but the last thing you need is ‘help’ from whiteknight carebear virtue signalers.

You are not a victim. You are an addict.

Seek help, in real life.

Listen to me very carefully.

Personal responsibility starts with YOU.

Empower yourself.

I recommend therapy.

Seriously.

Ya know?