Kage Rage, Part 9

Previously, on MinerBumping… Kanye North is a good friend, who taught William Rageclaw an important space lesson. William, if you are reading this, please don’t DDOS my precious website again. I will report you to the trailer park patrol.

Recently, Halandar Uitra was streaming his mining operation in Palas, and was pleased to meet Princess Aiko, whom he recognized as a “very wise” soul. He wanted Aiko in his stream, because she is “so cool”. Aiko just wanted to watch Halandar die, and listened patiently as his mining friends discussed a mysterious group that kills miners.

Finally, it happened.

Halandar vowed to sell the killrights and get revenge.

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Kage Rage, Part 1

Previously on James315.Space.. . kage1982 announced he has a wealthy benefactor, who finances kage’s campaign to whirl endlessly around Isanamo’s Home for Young Miners. However, as Quint generously showers pennies upon Highsec antigankers, he openly concedes the CODE. is utterly invincible.

Despite daily failure, Quint rewards antigankers handsomely.

With each gank, the CODE accomplishes more than every carebear combined.

Quint has struggled with several different variations of the contest rules, watching helplessly as CODE. pilots continue to take his money.

Meanwhile, Princess Aiko flaunts her own good fortune.

Although Aiko has recently begun smiling about something, antigankers speculate she is in a space cult. kage vowed to rescue the princess.

Eventually, kage realized he had a date with a blog.

He doesn’t appear to like my writing.

Nevertheless, even kage acknowledges James as High King.

He also understands that Aiko and James have a special relationship.

To this day, kage continues to warp randomly around Isanamo. This upsets miners, who remain convinced he is some kind of secret CODE. agent.

Sometimes, he accidentally collides with the poor distraught bots.

Meanwhile, kage still hasn’t figured out that Quint’s CODE. hunting contest is just a paid advertisement for the mighty alliance.

Sievert Solutions is also a little confused.

The salt is definitely flowing, but in which direction?

Finally, kage got that big payday!

The last time I saw kage, he was whirling around the YMCA at 3500m/s. When I undocked, he decided it was best to leave the system.

I wanted him to face justice, so I contacted a few of my powerful friends in Highsec. That’s right, I put out a hit on kage. Just kill him, and send my regards! I don’t need to offer a paltry isk prize, because people will do it for the betterment of our glorious civilization. It’s what I want, and James wants whatever I want.

Kalessi Kashada > FYI kage1982 at Sobaseki gate in Jita in a Dramiel
Cargo Bandit > Aiko Danuja doesn’t CODE. despise kage1982?
Aiko Danuja > kage1982 is not despised, he is pitied
Cargo Bandit > this guy is notoriously delusional and annoying
Valiran Teleros > The more time I spend in this channel, the more I come to empathize with gankers, and the fact I’m not exaggerating in the least is almost physically painful.

With any luck, kage might eventually learn something?

Practice makes perfect!

 

 

Drep Vikunnar

Kills of the Week Before

Here are some bera that got obliterated between September 6 @ 00:00 EVEtime and August 12 @ 23:59 EVEtime. Haha, just kidding, time doesn’t go backwards.

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Dart Zannah had a Nightmare, and woke up shivering. It turns out the Nordwind is approaching Hek, and it’s awful cold in space.

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Alex Jefferson was glad Hulkageddon is over, warping to the belt with all haste, but unfortunately he didn’t have room in his cargo for a mining permit. The Tactical Narcotics Team is proud to enforce CODE. compliance.

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Isogren Faith Ronuken loved her little salvage retriever. Alas, false faith led her astray, and she encountered a purple ball of TNT.

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Shadow Uzumaki Jr wanted to try everything EVE has to offer. Whadda Badasaz and Lavish DeGankar suggested Shadow stop mining and try dunking battleships.

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Ares PK was into Death by dying, and got his wish. PogChampion, Bob Welder, big brutor two, and Loota’Plex are good boys.

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When Akasha Thorne isn’t giving me three fortizars, she is forcing everyone in her alliance to embrace total CODE. compliance. It’s the law!

Taylor accepted judgment with grace and dignity, unlike so many carebears. 

When Princess Aiko demands feudal subservience, she doesn’t just want you to turn over all assets (including three fortizars). She also expects the vassal levy.

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BONUS: The New Eden Police Force has declared CODE. to be the “most wanted” group in the galaxy. It’s true. A lot of people truly love us, and I’m sure you will enjoy the Anti-Ganking Security Guide.

I offered to edit their website, but they couldn’t afford to pay me. Remember, if you need help with grammar and spelling, contact a CODE. agent today!

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DOUBLE BONUS: Zane Arnolles encourages everyone to watch this informative video, which (now that James is dead) appears more relevant than ever. It’s a decent introduction, although it fails to discuss how our Princess managed to seduce the Byzantine emperor and thereby turned him into a loyal simp.