Great!
Andee got harassed in Highsec.
So he blamed the Gods.
I helped him calm down.
In fact, I’m perfect.
Nice!
Perfect
Category: Always!
Miner Hunting Service
Listening to: Bubblegum Bitch
The MHS continues to earn dividends.
Send me isk, and your dreams will come true!
I love to help!
I’m like BLACKFLAG, but way more profitable.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!
Just listen to these customer testimonials.
Haha, I love EvE Online.
*****
Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll
Don’t care if you think I’m dumb, I don’t care at all
Carebear, sweetie pie, wanna be adored
I’m the girl you’ll die for
I’ll chew you up, and I’ll spit you out
‘Cause that’s what ganking, is all about
So watch me close and orbit me hard
I’m gonna pop your bubblegum heart
I’m Miss Sugar Pink, liquor, liquor purple lips
Hit me with your sweet love, steal me with an isk
I’m a queentex, latex, I’m a ganking maid
Life gave me some lemons, so I made some lemonade
You will pop, baby, here I come
Straight to number one!
Oh, dear diary, I met a boy
He made my doll heart light up with joy
Oh, dear diary, his ship fell apart
Welcome to my life in EvE Online
lorrenzo nub Fails Again
Previously, we met lorrenzo nub.
lorrenzo doesn’t like us.
So he began building a space army.
However, first he went mining.
Ahbazon is a SAFE space.
As a findom, I expect tribute.
Of course, he also needed a mining permit.
Lorrenzo was happy, because mining permits are real.
Oh no!
Drone Task Force was on the case…
To be continued…
Valentines
Not all miners are IRL crybabies.
Some miners even get it.
Barnso was happy to meet a real-life Princess.
He likes the Why Was I Ganked? channel.
Barnso just wants to relax.
I know how to make men happy.
Barnso enjoyed his time with me.
Send isk, and help me build a SAFE space!
I don’t mind.
Barnso even wrote a poem!
What a good boy!
Cheers!
That’s right!
Seek Help
Play EvE Online responsibly.
Experienced agents are standing by.
We want to help you.
However, this is just a game.
Help is available.
I’d recommend Broadcast for Reps, but the last thing you need is ‘help’ from whiteknight carebear virtue signalers.
You are not a victim. You are an addict.
Seek help, in real life.
Listen to me very carefully.
Personal responsibility starts with YOU.
Empower yourself.
I recommend therapy.
Seriously.
Ya know?
Victory in J-
I went a’whoring in nullsec.
I have more isk destroyed than entire alliances.
I do elite nullsec PvP.
Everybody was happy to see me.
I even offered bonus rounds.
Good times in EvE Online.
Not a miner?
Miners need to calm down.
They are all miners.
Although none of them want to admit it.
You can never trust a miner.
They are all liars…
…and stupid too!
Nobody likes a nasty little miner.
They are just miners.
Silly bears!
Just kill them all.
Yes, even the MI [ssion] [run] NERS.
Die B
Killi got griefed in Highsec.
The celebrity had an important announcement.
However, he erased it.
Instead, he had a personal message for me.
“Bitch is gonna fuckin die” (direct quote).
Well, I got a message for you, Killiwutsurname.
You already done died, buttercup.
Haha, what a goofbear.
ag Dummydumreee
TRIGGER WARNING: MEAN WORDS
I always think, ya know, I got other things I’d rather do than play EvE Online, or write about it… but then I log in, and encounter the incredible stupidity of Idiocracy Online.
Previously, I discussed how incompetent antigankers continually fail, whilst roleplaying success. It’s never clear what they accomplished, but they sure as hell didn’t stop any gankers.
Recently, we spotted Highsec Plebtards camping Juunigashi with Stormbringers, desperately hoping to sperg lightning bolts in a windowlicking attempt to save a freighter.
The obvious solution was to warp into Uedama (with the dummydumdums following like Keystone Cops), as we then warped into Ikao, and back into Juunigashi to kill the target.
I could not conceal my contempt.
I honestly question the time I’ve invested in EvE, but at least I’m going down in history as the all time greatest. However, how does one justify investing even more time (years more than me), and yet failing to come close? It’s like, when you are slamming homeruns out of the stadium, how can you possibly have respect for a permapleb who is drunk on antifreeze and all-you-can-eat chilidogs?
Running a bunch of alts is bad enough, but imagine running a bunch of alts and failing to accomplish anything!
Apparently, some people refer to their alts as “we”.
The antiganker posed an interesting question…
I once heard of a turboautist, who wasted years following Jason, Joe/Bob, Aussie, brainlet, Benji, loyal/Trump, etc.
This goblok would always believe he saved a freighter, proudly proclaiming, “Freighter saaaaaaaaved.”
I simply cannot stand a stupid man.
However, did “we” save the freighter?
Apparently not!
Suddenly, the loser didn’t want to gloat.
Eventually, he showed the true nature of the whiteknight.
I believe him.
I’m cute!
Quitting EvE, Goodbye
Miners ask silly questions.
What do you think?
V3rbal also wanted his ship back.
He’s just a 2009 newbro.
With years of experience, he tried a little trick.
It’s the ol “gimme my ship back” scam.
We did our best to help him out.
It’s always a pleasure to help newbros.
Another happy customer.
I hope he enjoyed his space adventure.
Game Over.
