Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Miners think they have it all figured out.
They say we are the bad guys.
Those poor miners, shot down while mining their buisness.
They don’t like the Code.
What would we do without it?
One thing is for certain.
The gunkers are out there.
Be careful!
I meet a lot of cool people in EVE.
We tend to get along pretty well.
They understand the law.
Recently, I saw a Retriever.
It was mining, so I put a stop to that nonsense.
Local miners were confused, maybe I’m from lowsec?
Fortunately, a local Goonbear was there to explain.
I’m just a bad apple.
So I did what I had to do.
I’m here to help!
The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78
Previously, in Aiko’s EVE… One year ago, the Second Great War began with the vile duplicity of the Double Trader, Vily. All of this was anticipated by avia naali (aka aiva naali), a Highsec Orca pilot who vaulted to the highest ranks of Goonswarm.
Fortunately for the Swarm, Grandübergroßführer ‘lil Bullet anticipated the outbreak of hostilities, and was prepared for a two-front war.
avia ordered a series of sharp counterattacks to cover his withdrawal from Geminite. As always, Princess Aiko served as his personal liaison with the rest of Goonswarm, keeping him advised on every development.
Together, they conspired to foment civil war, between Pandemic Horde and Pandemic Legion. From time to time, the Mittani would encrypt hidden messages inside a public address, personally communicating with his overlord, avia.
While mining in Kamio, avia swept TEST from their staging regines, cutting off reinforcements. Subsequently, he began systematically shreading enemy structures. He also decided to purchase a personal command rorqual, toyed with a plan to bankrupt Perimeter Tranquility Trading Tower, and he applied to Karmafleet University.
When Princess Aiko was unavailable, Slackbot served as a trusted confidant, and was even given direct command of the Stain counteroffensive.
avia also nurtured the Homefront, employing cargo expanded Charons to rapidly move ore from “the box”, where heroic full digg speed rorquals conducted mining with the same vigour as any frontline soldier.
avia’s glorious counteroffensive blunted the enemy advance, but the front gradually stabilized, and Goonswarm was forced unto the defensive. Nevertheless, avia was a brilliant strategist, rallying the Swarm behind a wall of cynbo jams.
Meanwhile, he nervously eyed his application to Karmafleet.
It was time to pay his dues.
Even the leader of Goonswarm has to pay taxes.
To be continued…
I love miners.
I love donations.
I love slaves.
I love EVEmail.
Sometimes, they are threatening.
I don’t take any of this seriously.
Miners are like so mental.
Everybody knows I’m a whore.
They want me to get a life…
… but not a nice one.
I’m just a hostile no life whore…
Well, I don’t know what to say.
I guess I’ll keep shooting them.
Miners seem to enjoy the attention.
I’m glad they feel safe.
)))))
It’s that festive time of year.
Everyone is celebrating.
We are all getting that magical Juneteenth spirit.
Did you know that slavery is legal in New Eden?
I’m a Khanidess.
We believe in traditional values, unlike the fascist Caldari state.
The mining caste must be extirpated.
We will kill them all.
It’s only fair.
Be well!
Hello again, dear reader.
Antigankers are all worked up.
They don’t know what to do.
With enemies like this, no wonder I’m on top.
What a bunch of idiots.
Meanwhile, I’ve been helping Orcas.
I do well, by doing well.
Last week, I seized control of a Goon battlefleet.
Today, I seized control of a Fraternity battlefleet.
I control both fleets, on opposite sides of the war.
What do you think about that?
Some people are jelly.
I know what James really wants.
I’m here to save the miners.
That’s a euphemism for genocide (in-game).
So I don’t care who you praise.
These miners are in trouble.
Space lawyers won’t save them.
I’m the friend they need.
Some people say the CODE. is dead.
Actually, I’m invincible.
Christi thought she owned the moon.
Wrong!
She decided to ban gankers from her moonbase.
Miners sure do love Princess Aiko.
She’s a nice lady.
What a gal.
See ya later!
Miners want to fight back.
They invent complicated schemes.
They invite their friends and family to help.
Someday, they are gonna get us…
Just you wait!
They even have kill rights.
Someday.
Somehow.
They are gonna do something.
Good luck miners!
Miners have a lot of questions.
They can’t tell up from down.
Who is winning? Who is losing?
Who am I?
Miners have such a strange way of talking.
I’m not sure what they are thinking.
I’m sure they feel quite normal.
However, something is wrong with their brain.
Like, really wrong.
FUCK YOUR MOTHER’S ASSHOLE AND YOUR MOTHER’S B
HateLesS apparently hates me. He’s been claiming I declared a crusade against streamers! This isn’t true at all. The Sheikh declared Jihadswarm long before I was born, and I’m merely His divine messenger, borne on the wings of the VCBees.
We don’t believe that miners, like HateLesS, are entitled to free easy boring quick MindLesS isk. Don’t brag about how much isk/hr you make, and then demand CCP make it easier. Welcome to EVE. We are your challenge.
HateLesS says that we are griefers, evil space bullies who just want to make him angry. Look, HateLesS, we don’t care how you react. We are just here to play the game, and normal gameplay is not ‘griefing’. You can cry, or not cry, we are gonna come anyways. That’s not abuse, it’s fair competitive play.
EVE is a wargame, and we are allowed to harass and demoralize you. If this makes someone quit the game, that’s great. We call that winning.
I’m most motivated by “I don’t care” miners, who care so little that they AFK daily. They have a bad attitude, and it’s my duty to antigank them.
We are knights of the New Order, sworn to defend Highsec and ensure it isn’t overrun by bot-aspirant isk-efficient repetitive grinding farmers.
We want a better game, more complicated than blobbing together and blapping defenseless triangles. You might not like it, but we are here to help.
I don’t shoot miners because it’s funny, for isk, or because I have some roleplay sentiment. I don’t do it for a dusty old essay, or some guy who died years ago. I do it for one very simple reason. I don’t like miners, in real life.
I’ve despised basically every video game ever, with their guides and walkthroughs and meta-strategies and canalized rote content. EVE offers something unique, unlike anything else. CCP can introduce all the stale PvE content they want, and it won’t change a thing, because PvP players will ensure that miners burn.
PvE streams don’t draw new players. People just conclude, “Wow, EVE is incredibly boring.” The only interesting moment is when we show up.
HateLesS, calm down… miner.
Ultimately, EVE is a game of cat and mouse. CCP has placed cheese, to entice you poors. Don’t act surprised when you encounter cats.
Cheers!
