From The Source – Page 26 – ‎James 315 Space

Where’s Kalvin?

In ye olden times of yore, the Minerbumping channel was a place where good agents were summarily banned for trivial reasons, with no judicial recourse (other than praying to a dead guy, who quit undocking a decade ago). This happened, for example, when Salah felt Jerry Rin and karma balancer were being disrespectful.

From: Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri
Sent: 2018.02.12 09:33
To: [redacted]

Hi friends,

I’m writing this little essay here because… issues with certain people, like karma balancer, who has an existential grudge against me for no apparent reason. I even have a recording of him calling me a piece of shit on Teamspeak and saying that all Russians must be bombed… As for mod rights, I’m all for redistributing them, but there has to be a set of guidelines…

Praise James!

Likewise, when Lewak became jealous of Aiko Danuja. Or when Super Perforator came down with a bad case of terminal autisms. It’s the sort of stuff that James 315 never wrote about, because he never knew about it.

Fortunately, the modern Why Was I Ganked? channel is a bastion of due process. We finally managed to redistribute the mod rights, by creating a new channel, and a new alliance, with new guidelines for a new New Order.

Woah there, Iceminer, let me just stop you right there.

Pay rent, on time each month, or get out of Highsec.

Do you want to wind up like Mick Barmata?

My fees are very reasonable!

Anyways… Miners have legal rights, under the auspices of the CODE. and your lawful High Queen Regent dispenses sweet justice according to her regal whim, whenever and however the Heroin decides. That’s only fair, right?

Recently, Kalvin Rothchild summoned his antiganking alt.

Kalvin paid 100 million to be unbanned, only to be rebanned!

It is my pleasure to clarify why Kalvin is rebanned.

Recently, a mysterious CODE.-Safety. taskforce went All-Out, apprehending Kalvin’s mining alt. I found this to be most pleasurable.

Kalvin’s Princess Aiko barbie doll promptly began crying.

This went on for quite some time.

On and on…

The logs are voluminous.

Kalvin, I’m gonna need another 100 million isk.

You done wrong, and I like money.

GRIEFING

Today, I’d like to play a game.

I call this: Griefing, or Not Griefing?

Ok, let’s get started!

Ganking a Venture, in a 1.0? GRIEFING!

Strategic Proteus dunk, in 0.4? NOT GRIEFING!

Wow, that was REAL PvP – are you ready for round 2?

Ganking a Retriever in 0.7?? GRIEFING!

Hahaha, it took six of you? Lol, Highsec trash!

Dropping a Marauder (with spare battlecruisers) on the same Retriever?

Now that’s what real PvP looks like!

What Happened?

Why, hello there, dear reader.

Once upon a time, the CODE. alliance was a mighty alliance.

One day, James 315 docked up, AFK forever.

The final challenge to his legacy was posed by gankbear roleplayers, who tried to convince everyone to leave the alliance. They called themselves CODE BLUE, and they rallied around has beens, never weres, and never will bees. Their leader is a nobody, who helped place more than a dozen killmails on the CODE. killboard, before quitting and vowing to never rejoin (because this would interfere with his Mussolini inspired plan, to establish a miner axis centered upon ~~Dodixie~~ Poinen).

[ 2017.03.24 21:55:30 ]
Hrothgar Nilsson > my great-grandfather is pure italian ancestry. Benito was his name.
Chemical brother > A lot of people in italy love Benito
Hrothgar Nilsson > Yes, because when there is a crisis, people often look to dictators to provide all the solutions. The New Order is people power, united behind the vision of James 315. James 315 is doing what Mussolini should have done.
Chemical brother > Italian history is very complicated…
Hrothgar Nilsson > The world needs to pay more attention to the history of Italy. Italy has been misjudged, misperceived, and had its character assassinated… So, I say, Viva Italia, and Via James 315 and the New Order!
Alt 00 > Kill: Lexxos (Mackinaw)

Hey retard, James 315 doesn’t like incel Wehraboo fascisti!

When Hrothgar heard James was retiring, he didn’t wait 48 hours. The rest of us were trying to keep the alliance running, and planning a nice funeral, but Hrothgar instantly created his own rival alliance. When the New Order was at its weakest and most vulnerable, Hrothgarlini tried to split the community. The shameless copycat even plagiarized the ticker JAMES. Some of us cared about the New Order, and we were disgusted. I offered Hrothgar ONE BILLION isk, if he would disband his fraudulent alliance, and rejoin the CODE. George went further, offering TEN BILLION isk. Hrothgar refused!

Like most gankbears, he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Nowadays, he only speaks through a beta orbiter.

“I’m loyal to ~~James~~ Hrothtard, GRRR CODE.” members include the guy who conspired to ban the entire CODE. alliance from the minerbumping channel (and then quit, only to return, and then quit again, and then return, and then quit again), and the guy who sent hundreds of agents to eternal damnation.

If he were still alive, James would be alarmed to know these desperate traders have united. Meanwhile, they have all begun crawling inside the ruins, after abandoning the CODE. years ago. Back in the day, some of them declared war on James, but now they sleep with his corpse! What are they doing? Actual avowed antigankers, living inside the tomb, and furiously ~~masturbating~~ perverting his legacy.

Ward vowed to destroy me, and James 315.

Imagine, antigankers hiding inside the CODE. alliance.

When James died, he knew they would try this. Therefore, he sent a psychic message to the oracle, Talas Dir, who left a sign for all time. The prophecy of Talas proves that Aiko Danuja was chosen by the Gods. Exactly one month before the Jamespocalypse, Talas foretold that James would vanish, and be replaced by Aiko.

James always understood the importance of clear, concise, communication.

In May 2020, only a dozen people knew that James intended to retire, abdicating to his unemployed kickboxing ex-girlfriend.

Salty boomers who weren’t even in the CODE. alliance, can probably understand that they were never part of the inner circle, and that is probably why James didn’t bother to tell them about his plans for the future.

It is Aiko, whom destiny favours, as the greatest ganker in galactic history.

It is Aiko, whom James recognized, as championettess of Halaima.

All Glory to the Ice ~~BWitch~~Princess!

Fan Fest, Part 2

Previously, in Iceland, CCP faced tough questions.

One thing became clear, it is time for an Aiko statue.

This is an undeniable reality.

It’s what the galaxy needs.

Meanwhile, CCP Rattati defined “new player”.

Carebears believe in a regional skill gradient (from Highsec to nullsec). However, as Rattati stated, “You are not a new player, [just because you are] in Highsec.” According to CCP, players cease to be ‘new’ when they reach 30 days, or leave the New Player Experience. Highsec is not the tutorial, and it is not “griefing” to engage Naval Academy graduates.

Rattati noted that CCP wasted “considerable time and resources” investigating carebear allegations. While griefers do disrupt the tutorial, gankers don’t. CCP determined that gankers and griefers are two separate groups, and ganking is explicitly allowed. Isanamo is not a mining tutorial, nor is Uedama a hauling tutorial. These are elite PvP zones, and Rattati emphasized that ganking is “fair” gameplay.

COOL FACT: When we changed our alliance name, we ensured that autist crybots would get confused. If you still think James 315 is griefing miners, then you obviously aren’t paying attention. Fortunately, CCP is not siding with antigankers, and Rattati concluded (to thunderous applause), “Gankers, you’re SAFE.”

If antigankers care about noobs, why are they defending nullsec alts?

Quadra Loser

Stargate- Sivala is a magical portal.

Champions of EvE Online are found here.

You can also find permafailures, in real life.

Quadra Frost is super obsessed with me.

Since he plays EvE in real life, he is obsessed in real life.

He roleplays as a CONCORD bot, fighting the griefer guild.

What a loser, in real life!

Triggered…

He’s gonna get me.

Thumbs up!

Quadra respects me, and is desperate for my respect.

Sometimes, you just gotta be honest with people.

What a looooooser (in real life)!

Like every miner, Quadra has a secret mystery main.

He’s so smart…

I just can’t help it.

I drive men crazy.

Get a life, you loser!

Haha, omg.

SMDH.

Do you think Quadra Frost is a retarded IRL loser?

Let me know in the comments!

Beepbeep, I’m a Jeep

Hello, dear reader.

I’m sure you’ve all been wondering.

How did I become so awesome and invincible?

Unfortunately, I have terrible news.

James 315 died, and that is so sad.

Loyal CODE. agents are docked up, AFK forever. That’s what Daddy wanted, to have gankers lined up in the mausoleum, entombed with his corpse.

As miners learn in crab school, whilst Ventures nibble the toes of Mike Azariah, James 315 was a godly man who just wanted carebears to maximize their isk/hr. When bots began driving down the price of Veldspar, he started an alliance to fight back. Furthermore, to prevent anarchy, he forced the rabblemongers of Hulkageddon and Jihadswarm to honor the holy permit. James would often pilot a magical Bowhead full of tanky Procurers, handing them out to all the good little miners. Alas, in the darkness, an evil lurked. A nasty little b witch conspired to poison James, and steal the CODE. for herself, and she formed an alliance with lowsec gankers… and other gankers.

I did do it, and I’m proud of myself.

Grrr hat Aiko, hat hat hat.

So now you know the TRUE true.

I can’t deny it any longer.

Yes, it is me, Princess Butter Cupcake.

I’m the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online.

Bee well!

Dest Royer got Destroyed

Every miner has a background story.

Dest Royer came from a rough neighborhood.

He needed to express his feelings.

Sometimes, therapists need therapy.

With a name like Dest Royer…

…you know he is a mining machine.

Why else would loosers bully him?

The conversation became increasingly academic.

Finally, ~~James~~ Aiko asked the BIG question.

Dest is one mad therapist.

He is a trained psychoassassin.

Dest Royer took careful notes.

It was a revealing conversation.

Good Morning!

Good morning, EvE Online!

Just another glorious day, praising me.

Number one PvP champion of all time = me.

Time to check the forums.

Woah there, let’s check my mail.

Heyyyy!

Sheesh, calm down roleplayer.

Haha, ok.

Actually, it works better than that.

Show me the money!

Ok, time to undock!

Glory to Ichinumi! GLORY TO AIKO!

My goodness, I’m busy.

You might yearn for the old days, when loyalanon dunked freighters in Uedama, and Super Perforator roleplayed at Ventures in Poinen. However, the new normal is that 41% of all ganking is Aiko. This is my time, my era. This is the future, and the ganking community is better than ever. Ganking is strong, because I am strong, and I am great, and I am a beautiful Princess in real-life, chaste and pure. Sometimes, I regret that I didn’t call the alliance AIKO, with AIKO as the ticker — but I’m not a narcissist.

Previously, we learned of Auviken, the first system to report more Safety ganks than CODE ganks. We then celebrated Unpas, the first system to endorse Safety as the #1 alltime alliance. Afterward, we heard of Waira, the first system to elect Aiko Danuja as the #1 alltime PvP champion. I am now pleased to present, the first system to simultaneously have Aiko listed as the top pilot of alltime, and Safety as the top alliance. Truly, we are well into a new era, and whilst Halaima might always be a spiritual Mecca, Ichinumi will be forever known as the site of Aiko’s impenetrable inner chamber.

Behold, Ichinumi, bastion of Aikodom. The miners of Ichinumi will always live with dread and fear in their pathetic hearts, for their system is 100% dangerous, and that is no place for a mining simp. If James 315 were alive today, he would give me a hug, and whisper in my ear to tell me how proud he is. We would hold hands, and laugh about all the losers, who failed to be here today. Good job Aiko! Thanks James!