Welcome to Elonaya.
A place to mine.
o7 capsuleer!
That’s right.
That’s right!
Category: Miner Math
Just Above
Some people don’t like Safety.
Congratulations Aiko!
Other people love me.
You can’t argue with success!
Maybe I was born with it?
Aiko Danuja is the best mercenary in EvE Online.
Business remains good.
No discussion required!
What will happen next?
I’ll make more isk.
Maybe even a few friends.
Wouldn’t you like to watch?
Cheerzah.
How to Sell a Mining Permit
Check out this trick (yes, today).
First, get their attention.
Ganking, bumping, warping around – whatever works.
Some miners enjoy the chase.
However, they are easily confused.
It’s important to address their concerns.
I’m the greatest ganker in the history of EvE Online.
Wouldn’t you like to meet me?
I’m nicer than my alts.
There was just one outstanding issue.
His alts also need permits…
This is a good racket.
In Eve Online, everything is fungible.
That’s right.
Can you guess what happened next?
Scroll down to see if you guessed correctly!
That’s right.
Did you guess correctly?
===AFTERWORD===
He went FULL CAPITAL on me.
We even had a BONUS round.
He was one lucky winner!
I’m happy to help.
That’s right.
Cheerzah!
Another happy customer.
\o/
Corbit Rin Joins the Mob
Let’s meet a miner.
He died straight away.
Mackinah daown.
Fully fitted!!!
Wrong rigs, my guy.
Miners disgust me.
He wants to talk to us, while on the loo.
Bro…
Welcome to the team.
Best of luck with your next Machinaw shiiip.
Later, there was an exit interview.
Poor guy got no worning.
He should tryed discuss this with the mane (that’s me).
Meening, we requier becaous we are hellping.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I recently accepted a few quests.
Could I anti-gan the gankers?
This dummy didn’t realize something…
The contracts don’t require a kill!
Isn’t that special?
One contract was especially lucrative.
I was racing against sixteen other people.
Who could hunt me down the fastest?
Fortunately, I found some volunteers.
This was taking too long…
…so I got a BIGGER ship.
VICTORY!
Now that’s how you win EvE Online!
I’m the best!
safety D A N C E
\o/
Miners are bad at math.
Even Venture ganking is profitable.
We don’t have better things to do.
We are here to help.
That’s right.
That’s right!
Stay calm. o7
Dakkonka
Dakkonka is a miner.
She sure do love mining.
Unfortunately, she is usually always AFK.
Sometimes, she notices me killing her fleet.
Dakkonka misses out on a lot while AFK.
She also loses a lot of Mackinaws.
One day, she started talking.
Dakkonka likes me a lot.
Finally, she understands our racket.
She’s done with ganking.
Now she’s just a simple ice farmer.
Aren’t they all?
So we completed her tax audit.
That’s right.
She wanted to purchase freedom, and a mining permit.
So we sent her the bill.
Ok!
Another satisfied customer.
#Fail
Miners gonna get revenge.
Unfortunately, they are bad at maths.
Cool story bro.
That’s right.
o7 capsuleer!
Deal Storm #2
Previously in James 315 Space… suki storm lost a Mackinaw. In order to get a new Mackinaw, he paid 100 million isk to Princess Aiko. Rewind. Before paying 100 million, he paid another 100 million.
Aiko Danuja > hello miner
Kalorned > Hi!
suki storm > i’am not miner do’nt take the risk
No Bodiei > Aiko is drunk
Aiko Danuja > Suki, pay me 100 million isk or I will gank you again
suki storm > it was my first dit to minning since a moment i can do some mistake no ?
Aiko Danuja > I will destroy another miner ship, unless you pay me 100,000,000.
suki storm > i have no isk by you fault
He claimed to have no money, but miners are liars.
Aiko Danuja > Once you send the isk, I will send you a receipt as confirmation of payment. If you do not pay, I will not allow you to mine.
suki storm > i hav” just 4million in my account
Aiko Danuja > Good, now find another 96 million.
Buttercup Potemkin > hurry up miner
suki storm > if you continue to speak as this i go to be rebel
suki storm > you think you can destroy a kronos in few second ?
Aiko Danuja > i can kill a kronos easy
suki storm > with what you kill a kronos XD
suki storm > yeah it’s really my problem
He still needed to pay 100 million isk.
That’s 100 million, not 4 plus 96. He also needed to pay 30 million isk for shipping. Er, um, 40 million. No, I didn’t mean 30 million plus 10 million = 40 million. I meant 30 + 40 = 70 million. Hurry up, miner!
suki storm > your number is your power that’s all
Netheril X > Did I make you cum when you blew up my ship?
suki storm > i want just play i, peace
Elise Shomitzsu > No wonder no one likes this shit game.
No Bodiei > suki storm u have to pay for pillow talk
Aiko Danuja > Elise is just grumpy, because her mackinaw exploded.
So suki paid, and paid, and paid again (and again).
No Bodiei > you won’t see anything like this anywhere else in eve. Aiko is one of the great wonders of eve that should be seen on a grand tour
He also needed to tip the delivery driver.
It is customary to also tip the other driver.
The standard tip is 30 million. I mispoke, 40 million. That’s 70 million! Or 80?
If there is a third driver, you must tip again. Always! The fee is just 30 millon. I mean, 40 million, 70 million!
This is the art of the deal.
Shipping is free, but you have to pay the Uedama toll (again)!
It’s just 30 million. I mean, you owe 40. So 70, right?
Don’t forget about the other delivery driver!
Fortuna Avarice Cash > ruthless
Talivaldis > what a wonderous and joyful thing to behold the princess
Purgo > Amazing Aiko