Slowpoke Gets Poked Again

We’ve killed this one before.

Like all antigankers, DKslopoke is an AFK miner.

He is a certified permapleb.

He’s not any good at EvE Online.

He merely pretends to play.

DK begs to be spoonfed.

Without gankers, there is nobody to antigank. 🙁

So he begged Wrathful Hawk to play.

The antiganker desperately waited for content.

When would Hawk find a target?

Hawk explained that antiganking is boring.

It’s only for dumbdumbs.

However, DL was daydreaming about his previous Stormbringer.

Wow, he antiganked us hard.

Good times.

I guess he had fun?

Once again, DK sat on gate, waiting for hours.

Hawk worried DK would go AFK.

The boy has a reputation.

DK drank alone, while Hawk watched two movies.

Five hours later, Hawk found a target.

Another One

Tee Ka Gets PkD, Part 1

It just keeps happening.

Oh look, there he is again.

What’s this?

Tee Ka keeps attacking me!

As it turns out…

That’s a fancy Orca!

Carebears think I’m just a mean greefer.

However, Tee Ka is starting to figure things out.

I’m fun.

That’s right.

He’s not a new player.

He’s just another miner.

Cheerzah!

Hellform Down

Listening to: Miner Down

Some alliances are trash.

Some are not.

My alliance has a flagblog, with fun stories about Tee Ka’s alts.

We provide a real service for the community.

We are doing great!

Miners are so stupid, and they don’t even know it.

Fumbled? No loot? What?

No kidding.

Some carebears hide behind a good sport veneer.

I see right through that.

What would make my alliance better?

GarRrrAR Gr00)00)((()()()()N

What a game.

Direct to zKill

This is how miners die.

Some poors can’t afford mining permits.

We accept all forms of payment.

Boy that’s crazy.

EvE Online is no place for children.

Don’t let your kids become crybabies.

Safety agents are standing by.

Mine around and find out.

Here’s another zkill on demand.

It was a shame to see
It was insane, the way we’d roll
We were the big, bad pitbull
Diggin a big, black hole

It was deranged the way we’d roll
Everything around was like a little bitty town
We were the old tornado

Try to get out but we just keep stickin’ around,
‘Cause it is a very good bad thing we’ve found
I’ve got some cigarettes, I’ve got some stuff to try
We’ll play ’til we die

Gonna kill you yeah

Krig’s Korner, Episode 18

Krig’s Korner, Episode 17

This is the private log of Captain Krig Povelli.

Recently, I came within 1,588m of a compressor.

Fleet chat was invigorating.

Suddenly, spaceships.

Plot Twist: I’m Krig Povelli.

I beat my own fleet at their own game.

There was no way to heal.

The ganker guy left no space.

This is what defeat looks like.

CONCORD just watched.

That fleet sucked.

Set up, hacked, and dunked.

Every fleet has winners and losers.

Aside from yours truly, this fleet was full of losers.

They decided to downgrade.

They also vowed revenge.

Will pirate kings save the miners?

Doubt.

I can’t wait for our next fleet!

Ice Pirate

Listening to: The Ice Pirates

I play EvE Online.

It’s like Idiocracy, in outer space.

Everyone loved the tale of Tee Ka and his alts.

Now meet Ketse…

He can transfer 60-70b!

He’s a self-proclaimed goonpirate!

What a guy.

He also steals my ice.

So I helped him stop.

He was enthusiastic.

However, he forgot about his other Mackinaws.

It was a Pirate v Pirate space battle.

I guess he’s a fan?

I think he asked me on a date.

It’s a hard knock life.

I wish Ketse all the best.

However, the feeling is not mutual.

BUSTED!

Back to low…

What a crazy miner.

What a noons!

Everybody in Delve will pay.

That’s right.

I wish I was good at this game.

At least he’s not mad.

That’s right.

At least he’s still a fan…

…but ow we are no longer frriends =((

Is this salt? 🙂

Cheerzah!

=POSTSCRIPT=

Wipe Out

Miners make a lot of threats.

Naturally, we evict riffraff.

Sometimes, they are crazier than normal.

Yep, it’s a Jesus miner.

The power of Christ compels!

They’ll never calm down.

That’s right.

Cheerzah!

=BONUS CONTENT=

Let’s see what Catalina had to say.

Ah, it’s a make-a-deal miner.

Sounds legit.

This was one tough negotiator.

Wow, this miner has connections.

Miner’s rebellion when?

Mmhm, sure.

Anyways, I got killrights.

I had to get out of there!

…then I came back (with more killrights).

Fun times!

Absolute Facts

It’s easy mode, with no CONCORD.

Trust me, they cry just as much.

I gank in Highsec for a reason.

Call me callous.

I’m killing your alliance, right now.

That’s reality.

Somebody said Absolute Order is a ganking alliance?

“Involved with” ganking, yes but…

That attracts the wrong kind of attention.

I never forget a bad Highsec guild.

Hey, I hotdrop in High.

I’m cool.

Empty

What happened?

Nobody likes a miner.

We kill miners )))

“Bitch, you are jerking people off killing them. I feel sad that your older brother rapes you. Your attempt to self validate on the internet will not help. You need a real psychologist. You are sick. I pity you”

I pity the miner.

Why does the miner spew?

Let’s find out!

Get drained.

Let’s read that again…

That’s right.

That’s right!

Welcome to EvE Online.

There’s a learning curve.

That’s right.

Service guaranteed.

Agents are standing by.

I love this game.

That’s right…