Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Listening to: Shadow Hunter
Oh hi, ya, I live here.
Sort of like a place you might expect me.
This is what GPT says we do.
#1 alltime destroyer/battlecruiser/bomber ALLTIME CHAMPIONS
PewPEWpew – heavy flak from barski
Now that’s REAL PvP.
I’ll add him to the list.
2+8+3=1 Dead Orca
It’s never too late to repent.
They wonder why we gank them…
COMING SOON
In thirteen plus one day…
=THIS SUMMER=
4.91 = 4 + 9 + 1 = 13 + 1
4 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 4 = 13 + 1
We caught a war criminal, in EvE Online.
Governor Lee tried to annex Lonetrek (again).
Not on my watch!
The absolute plebs are on my list.
That’s right.
They are bad at mining, ganking, and antiganking.
In EvE Online, miners be crazy.
Get blocked!
Like seriously.
Welcome to the Absolute Matrix.
It’s full of trash.
They are never calm.
In EvE Online, we pick our own fights.
Who will Absolute Order send against me?
I sure hope they figure it out.
FROM DOWNTOWN
Every miner must obey the law.
That’s right.
It’s not griefing, when you are sincerely salty.
Losers can say whatever they want in EvE Online.
Eventually, he found me.
Gankers have to follow CCP’s EULA.
Crybabies enjoy free speech.
What a guy.
He’s absolutely salty.
This went on for a few days.
Meanwhile, the Absolute Pleb discord had a laugh.
It’s not harassment, when you are bad at EvE Online.
This is what antigankers do.
That’s appropriate language for a miner.
Let’s see what else he had to say.
PLOT TWIST: He likes me more than you)))))) xD
Miners can use all the bad words.
PLOT TWIST: He has a crush on me.
What a classy guy.
I have a solution for miners like him.
There’s your warning, buddy.
PLOT TWIST: Gankers are the coolest people in the galaxy.
Welcome to reality, little guy.
That’s right.
Oi.
People notice me.
Hey there!
Hihi))
Antiganking miners say whatever they want.
Oh, I love it, thanks for asking.
Only gankers have to follow the EULA.
It’s ok, you can cry all day in EvE Online.
It’s not griefing, when you are salty.
It’s not harassment, if you are a whinebaby.
That’s right.
Cool story bro.
Nobody likes an antiganking miner.
Cheerzah!
Previously, the Avalanche was overpowered…
However, today we made history.
So yah, I logged into EvE Online…
Antigankers were already waiting.
They are kinda dumb.
Today, we are fishing in Uedama.
Hey there.
Great teamwork.
Op success.
Another fake gank.
That’s right.
Later that day…
***RUMORS AND INTEL***
***BEHIND THE SCENES***
***EXTERNAL LINKS***
The Brisc Rubal Home for Hot Unwed Mothers
Cheers!
Listening to: Zoot Suit Riot
Miners love to write.
Wow.
What a guy.
Yikesaroo.
I hope they feel better soon.
Miners are always poor…
…and more than a little dim.
Anyways…
At least they are happy.
I know how to have fun.
You love it, daddy-o.
That’s right!
Tell me more?
Fat Cat Came to Play
Now You Can’t Run Fast Enough
You Best Stay Away
When the Pushers Come to Shove
Throw back a bottle of beer
I have coal black hair
Guest Article
Hey, everybody, I’m Gallente Holostar, lead theorycraft design team lead for the Imperium.
Aiko made a map.
There are nine systems of interest: Torrinos, Ibura, Yoma, Oipo, Piak, Elonaya, Onnamon, Uuhulanen, and Uchomida. The miners congregate here and about. We have put a stop to all that, effective immediately. Come join us, as we continue our investigation.
*Facts and Evidence*
The miners use their Highsec wealth to rent in nullsec.
We hate Romania, so we started bumping.
Question: If Nagamac mines in Highsec, to pay rent in nullsec, what happens if he can’t mine in Highsec?
Just think about it.
Well, tornado season is finally over.
Oh nice, coercers are coming back.
Wait, what?
So it’s a battleship, and a freighter. Does it also mine?
Yep, it’s a carebear ship…
Everybody values ganking, but…
The losers also want to be invincible.
They don’t like PvP.
They only want infinite hitpoints.
Ganking is just too easy!
Garrr, guankers, hathathat.
Every impotent miner yearns for revenge.
Unfortunately, for bears, not everyone agrees.
Miners are bad at economics.
Most people are idiots.
Here’s how we will respond.
We’ll just haul for free, with AFK and autopilot.
PushX and Red Frog will go out of business.
Yah, for real.
Take that ship to lowsec.
Bro, it’s just broken.
Indeed.
Gyatt Festival, Dodixie Federal Test Center – Stardate 23360
System: Misneden
Today, I am nullifying all outstanding New Order shares. They no longer have any value whatsoever. For those who donated, I say “Thanks for the free isk, bro.” So now what?
You must pay again!
Highsec deserves better. Since I always be best, I am perfectly positioned to provide points for every citizen of Aikospace, ensuring isk flows for eternity. Even a bearpleb can succeed through my grace. In ganking,you can and will be saved.
I am pleased Aiko Points are available for merely 1 billion isk. Each capsuleer must purchase as many points as they can, in addition to the requisite mining permits, travel visas, and/or blue passes. To encourage you in this quest, bonus points will be awarded at the following tiers: 5 billion, 20 billion, 100 billion, 315 billion, 1 trillion, and 5 trillion. Furthermore, a very special reward will be offered to each shareholder who is the first to claim a bonus tier, and annual shareholder parties will celebrate the most generous supporters of Highsec ganking.
In fact, I have decided the ultimate second-place in EvE Online will be whomsoever sends the most isk. I ask, “How much isk do you have, and why?” This is your chance to find out. Unlike you, I guarantee that all isk will be used for ganking. Now that’s a square deal!
ISK, assets, skill points, shares, and PLEX can always be sent to Aiko Danuja, to finance Aiko points. Every purchase will be formally acknowledged, solemnly honoured, and joyously commemorated on the brand new leaderboard, which I will update once I am done investing your isk. This is all outlined in my original shareholder agreement, as codified by myself. That’s reasonable and fair.
