Yakuzan

Yakuzan logged in, to announce she quit.

Otherwise, she intends to antigank.

Yakuzan theorycrafted a successful ag doctrine.

Fortunately, Yakuzan doesn’t play EvE Online.

Back in the day, Yakuzan was a famous ganker.

This experience taught Yakuzan all the ganker tricks.

She could apply this knowledge to antiganking…

To prove it, Yakuzan orbited a gate in Uedama.

In reality, Yazkuan is just a miner.

Even miners have ships…

…but all 2007 players are failures.

Neurotica 1, Part 6

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Erotica 1 loved bonus content.

Woah… who was that girl? She seems to show up in every bonus room, like some kind of grieferette!

Anyways, utilizing my encrypted Signalbase NFT cryptoforum for Solana (which is going to the moon), Erotica’s mentor George had his assistant reach out for a friendly reunion.

After he was permabanned, Erotica had a problem.

His EvE Online activities did not look good in court.

What would FighterJets GuitarSolo do? What about Fighter Jets GuitarSolo or FighterJets Guitar Solo 1000 years?

As CEO of NFT Corporation, Erotica insisted upon doxxing himself, claiming the EvE community would defend his good reputation and high ethical standards. In fact, NFT Corporation never existed, but eventually he formed a legal illegal lawfully regulated corporation.

He also created a blog several blogs.

Exploiting international tragedy became the primary focus of his new business, capitalizing upon the NFT cryptobubble.

It’s not a scam, right?

Of course not it is!

To be continued…

Stupid Bots

EvE Online offers consistent gameplay.

First, you find a bot and kill them.

They don’t seem to mind.

You can tell they are bots, cuz they just keep mining.

Afterward, there’s a meet and greet with local citizens.

Some miners enjoy having a princess in their life.

However, a salty antiganker inevitably arrives.

These miners are especially stupid.

Antigankers are the most incompetent people in the game.

I can kill them with twelve hands tied behind my back.

Naturally, the antiganker spun defeat into delusions of victory.

Curiously, Inquisitor admitted to botting. Antigankers try to defend bots, but the ‘people’ they ‘protect’ don’t care, and aren’t even at their keyboard. Regardless, the antigankers consider this a heroic success, which they fail at continuously.

These miners know ganking isn’t PvP.

You need two players for ‘real’ PvP.

Eventually, the botter returned to his keyboard, discovering that two Macks are missing. As always, he used this as an opportunity to gloat about meaningless killrights.

Of course, he blamed one of his kids, and sought sympathy by pretending to help the other bots.

Miners sure do love mining!

Lonely Miner

CABO4EVER > mack, realy?
CABO4EVER > CAME ALL THE WAY JUST TO SAY hi TO cabo?
CABO4EVER > PEOPLE, THIS IS A GANKER

Hello CABO.

CABO4EVER > you tried to kill my mack..remember?
CABO4EVER > CONCORDE?
CABO4EVER > OFCOURSE, WHAT HAD YOU EXPECTED?
CABO4EVER > its high sec, mate..

CABO was pleased to collect killrights.

CABO4EVER > 26 days 26 days..23 days…26 days.. have the time, dont worry:) i amwatching you ALL…every step…
Zopiclone > activate my killright
CABO4EVER > i could be your daddy , son…
CABO4EVER > perhaps grandpa…kid..
Zopiclone > Please activate the KR on me
CABO4EVER > you wont be in a CAT, promissed..when you go BOOOOMMM! ill be camping out there when you are in your shiny BS…..KAAABBBOOOOOOMMM!1

Other miners were not impressed.

Rozo Druprime > lol he’s so stupid
Ellena Saisima > miners have no teeth so he wont actually do anything
CABO4EVER > it said i could bring friends…and thats what i am going to do.. but only when it hurts, realy hurts, lmao
Eyghynouel en Thielles > he accused me of being a “ganker” and i’ve only been playing for a week
Rozo Druprime > lol yeah he’s a retard, ignore him.
CABO4EVER > you read about those agents that can locate any player anywhere, right? and surprisely….KAAABBOOOMMM, BANG YOU R DEAD, LMAO!!!!
CABO4EVER > LMAO

CABO is a lonely miner.

CABO4EVER > i have no one to talk to..cause of those filthy gankers 🙁 lets buried the axe, come harvest with me
Rozo Druprime > not even his “friends” want him in their corps. he’s looking for a new mining corp cause he got kicked out of all the other ones lol
CABO4EVER > i am a miner, not a fighter…:)

Neurotica 1, Part 5

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously… Erotica 1 was a very bad boy.

You can listen to one bonus round here.

Just go ahead and open your inventory, select all your assets, and contract those to me. Ok?

Ok. What, wait? What am I doing? Why? Fuck you.

Here is an authentic customer testimonial:

I agree wholeheartedly that the “bonus room” is just what Jester described: A torture chamber. I had the “pleasure” of becoming a bonus room contestant earlier this week, and it’s just as bad as it sounds. I had just come into some PLEX as a gift and had ISK to burn, so I – foolishly – decided to try out Erotica 1’s “ISK Doubling Service.” To my amazement, I actually “won” and my ISK was doubled. I double checked his rules, and tried to submit more ISK. This time, though, I was told that I had won a bonus room, and I had a chance to earn even more ISK by demonstrating my faith. I wasn’t really interested, but I had no other chance to get the ISK that I had put in back. I got into the bonus room, and after a bit of discussion, I was promised that I would get five times my investment if I showed complete faith. I didn’t want to, but I felt so trapped, and the people in the room were very convincing. I finally began transferring all of my assets – about 5 billion ISK worth – to the members in the room. After they had all of my assets, they told me that I needed to complete a few additional tasks. Once again, I didn’t want to, but I felt like I had no choice, since they had all my assets. I had no idea what to do. They made me read some poetry and sections from various websites.

Erotica decided to try this in real life.

Step 1: He needed to create blogs.

During this step, he exploited his IRL infant’s name.

He also joined OnlyFans.

This became increasingly awkward.

Step 2: His ‘daughter’ began playing EvE Online.

Potential investors were confused.

Erotica was inspired by the inventor of ethical isk doubling.

Step 3: ?????

Step 4: PROFIT

To be continued…