Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
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Most miners are happy to be ganked.
I give them whatever they desire.
However, sometimes miners are less than satisfied.
In such situations, I know what to do.
Customer satisfaction is my top priority.
Alexander sent an image, to show what he wants.
That’s fine, but I need to get paid.
If I don’t get paid, there’s gonna be trouble.
Ok, calm down miners.
You guys…
That’s right.
OMG.
Believe it or not, some people don’t want PvP in their PvP battle royale.
Highsec ganking has always been controversial.
Mining permits have always been a part of EvE Online.
Griefer bullies are the best players in EvE Online.
07 Bl4zer, you were a true trailblazer.
We must always fight the carebears.
They’ve always been here, crying and whining.
It’s always been this way.
We know how to deal with miners.
Right?
That’s right.
Well, let’s see what the miners have to say.
Princess Aiko Hold My Hand is a great corporation for newbro miners!
Kimberly Duskwolf declared an end to ganking in Oiniken.
This lasted nearly two minutes.
Oh man, more Ward nonsense?
Woah, I never even knew this email existed.
Ahahaha, op success! Victory!
Even antigankers are impressed by my leadership.
Every sane rational person loves me.
Haha, not today miner!
Yes, I’m a lesbian, and I’m gonna kill you.
If you want to gank, you should probably shoot a Venture…
Newbro starter tornadoes are 30 million isk each!
I just want to make a positive difference in EvE Online.
I love my friends.
Ok, gotta go!
Haha, you guys….
It’s just a joke, right?
Exanon Alleile began cursing agents of the mighty New Order.
Damien Oxytocin was shocked, when the curse hit home.
For Safety purposes, Damien immediately lifted the curse.
At this point, the curse rebounded, catching Exanon in his skiff.
Exanon accused Damien of lying, but Exanon was wrong about that.
Exanon never expected this plot twist.
Damien never deceived Exanon!
In fact, it was Exanon who tried to bully Damien.
Exanon is his own worst enemy.
Damien did nothing wrong.
To be continued???
Every day brings new victories.
I am the #1 alltime PvP champion of Waira.
It’s like CCP made EvE Online just for me.
I am growing more powerful.
I really only want one thing.
I am here to exterminate the mining caste.
I’m going to win EvE, and have fun.
When I say winning, I’m not talking about quitting.
I know a better way to win.
Quitting is for losers and lossers.
Hello there, friendos.
Meridia Horizon was intrigued by his own death.
I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
That’s right, miners will pay to die.
This is actually pretty normal.
No regrets!
Back, by popular demand…
Previously, Exanon Alleile went on a grand tour of the galaxy.
At the end of the road, there was either a pot of gold… or nothing.
He’d been tricked seven times before, but what was in the container?
What do you think? Did Exanon win a FREE Mackinaw?
***SPOILER ALERT***
Scroll down to find out what was in the container!
***SPOILER ALERT***
Did you guess correctly?
Oh dang, it was empty!
It was time to try a BONUS lootbox.
Now this is how you play EvE Online.
Suddenly, Exanon began cursing.
FUN FACT: The recommended width of a blog image is 500 pixels — 750 max.
Damien Oxytocin tried to negotiate, but it was too late.
He could see hell, bleeding through his increasingly transparent interface.
Damien warned Exanon, that curses have consequences.
Would Exanon have mercy, and lift the curse?
Alas, it is real!
I want to continue enjoying my happy life, for at least a year.
Therefore, I rejected the upside down 666,666,666, but Exanon was not pleased.
How long will my happy life last?
Guest posts can be purchased for 1 billion isk.
***
Hi. It’s me, Krig Povelli.
I paid a billion isk to show my drawing of Princess Aiko.
That chick be fine, and I’m a bird law expert!
Acomanii Shull recently noticed something about me…
I love orcas.
Uh oh…
I’m here to help!
However, help isn’t free.
His last words were pitiful.
Nobody likes a poor.
Do you think he appreciated my help?
This is the thanks I get.
To be continued…
Previously, on EvE Online’s #1 Best Blog…
Exanon Alleile arrived in Nakugard, to claim a FREE Mackinaw.
Exanon waited, whilst Princess Aiko spoke with Javen.
Eventually, Exanon obtained an audience with the High Heroin of Highsec.
It was decided that Exanon would tour all four empires.
Eystur – Avada = 185 jumps
At this point, a whiteknight intervened.
It was time to stop messing around.
Escrow agents reviewed Exanon’s case.
An offer was made, and accepted.
Exanon set sail for Dodixie, to claim a container.
There was just one problem.
Can you guess what was in the container?
Find out next time, on The Exanondus, Part 3!
To be continued…
CONCORD reported a missing Mackinaw.
Krig Povelli was ready to help.
He tracked the Mackinaw from Eystur to Orkashu (via Gulfonodi).
This is how we have fun in EvE Online (check out that casual SEO).
Yes, I’m available for hire.
I’m a professional.
Exanon Alleile traveled across the galaxy, and back again!
Best of all, he got to meet his Saviourette, the tour guide of his heart.
I sent him on a fetch your Mackinaw quest.
PLOT TWIST
His Mackinaw was in another system.
Nakugard is a great place to win a FREE Mackinaw.
Finally, the poor little guy reached his destination.
To be continued…
