Princess Aiko – Page 62 – ‎James 315 Space

Recap

The last few ~~months~~ years have been a whirlwind.

I still remember when Raven x1 threatened to gangrape murder me. Subsequently, I learned that Kalvaen Voidwalker shot himself. Eventually, I also learned that Kalvaen was pretending. Meanwhile, I received emails encouraging me to cut my wrists and shoot myself. There was even a nice old man who suggested I light myself on fire. Finally, CCP concluded that I am harassing these poor innocents.

Searching for context, I reviewed the list of approved player character names. These include Dickbag McDickSucker, faglord faggerson, NaziMiner, Definiatel Racist Racist, Molesterman69 Rapeface, Jewed Auschwitz, Kill Yourself SrslyDoItNow, Ana-Lee Raped, pedofile pedobear, and niggniggniggniggniggnigg NiggNiggNigg. How can a modern corporation not be concerned about this? What did I do wrong, that was so terrible, which makes me the concern?

I tried to discuss this on an EvE Discord, which I thought was filled with reasonable adults. Unfortunately, these were just your typical carebears. They weren’t in the least bit concerned that EvE Online has a character called adolf-stalin-nigg3r jew-nigg3r. Nor were they concerned about IRL death threats.

The real concern, is that I tell miners to “Calm down.”

I find that argument utterly absurd.

Imagine playing Monopoly, and another player has a temper tantrum. You might say, “Calm down, shoe (or dog, or top hat, or car, or thimble). It’s just a game!” However, what if they flip over the board, ranting about how they are gonna cut you up, and send you to hell. As shocking as that might be, now imagine that you try to talk to someone about this, and they state, “Well, you did build a hotel on Boardwalk, and made the choice to charge rent. You clearly provoked this.”

I wonder if CCP will ban me, over an exaggerated complaint.

I question why I play EvE, and whether I should continue.

I suppose the only thing to do is continue ganking miners, and urging them to calm down. I don’t want them to murder me, but I also don’t like mining.

If I shoot them all, they might finally understand.

AFK is not safe.

Miner?

Few miners are honest.

Most miners are not.

Many miners are confused.

Others enjoy humour.

These miners are bros.

Some miners pretend.

They are playing a game.

Miners mine to mine.

Many miners are Russian.

Some miners are yelling.

Others are questioning.

Are miners philosophical?

Some miners are playful.

They want to have fun.

All miner are liars.

All miners are bots.

All miners must die.

Griefing and Harassment

GalactusGalactuss recently got in trouble for inappropriate language.

I don’t know what he said, but I bet it wasn’t that bad.

Previously, I discussed CCP’s haphazard enforcement of policies. Unfortunately, biased gamemasters do not enforce the rules fairly. Miners are often allowed to make IRL death threats, but gankers are sanctioned for saying “Calm down.”

Consequently, when crybaby Nick Steele lost his autopiloting spaceship, he knew exactly what to do. He whined to CCP, and reported the space bullies who harassed him. Naturally, CCP bought him a new Bhaalgorn.

Yes, Nick was the victim of my “ongoing” harassment.

If you want your ship replaced, you just need one email from me.

If you pay me, I will contact you, so CCP gives you free stuff.

Meanwhile, here are actual characters that CCP doesn’t threaten to ban.

Aiko Danuja Urine has an acceptable biography.

CCP takes allegations of harassment VERY seriously.

The GM team ensures EvE Online is a safe space!

We need to respect miners like I rapekids kids.

Gankers are not allowed to grief ChinkNigga and Chinkihate.

I was threatened with a permaban, for referring to an Autistic Retard.

CCP policies are enforced fairly for all players!

CCP doesn’t allow toxic language in this game.

As a Highsec ganker, I must always be on my best behaviour.

CCP holds me to a higher standard.

Calm down miner = griefer harassment roleplay.

Dumb N*ggggggggg*rrrrrrrrrrr = approved roleplay?

Sometimes, I wonder what CCP employees do all day.

One thing is for sure.

CCP employees should stop investigating me.

Just ban me, so I don’t upset valued customers.

Ya know?

It’s a great game, with great people!

daily fs

Here’s your daily fs.

Neospace

If you are a preteen princess from the 90s, then you love Neopets.

Neopets are like furries, but for children.

I wonder how that upgrade went?

With their identities stolen, escaped neopets fled to outer space.

You can hang out with 36.5 billion baseliner civilian catgirls!

Unfortunately, they don’t like Highsec gankers.

The Neopian Federation is a carebear consortium.

Ajna was weak, but she wanted to be strong.

She did some research, and realized I only have 3 friends.

I guess numbers are important after all?

So she started bullying me.

This was one uppity miner.

James 315 was always afraid of duels, always!

Fortunately, I’m actually capable of undocking.

We met at the sun, where it is always high noon.

An HONORIBEL 1v1 duel.

gf

Miners are often upset.

They don’t want to clam down.

They want us dead.

They also want to get rich, quick.

So kill them, before they get paid for someone else to kill you.

It’s not hard to do.

Just gank them, and offer a gf in local.

Good fight!

Stupid miners.

How to Sell a Mining Permit, Part 11

How to Sell a Mining Permit, Part 10

Mining permits are big business.

Some miners require multiple permits.

At first, PRICE SAMA blamed his permit.

However, he just needed a new one.

I’m the best, and that’s a fact.

Tia Xoth is another satisfied customer.

She is a happy miner.

Tia wanted the most expensive option.

She even tipped!

I just love my space job.

However, Tannia Voxx didn’t want to pay.

She thought she was above the law.

Silly miner!

I explained the law.

She also needs to pay my friends.

Send us isk, and we will kill miners.

Ok, who will send more Catalysts?

Thanks!

Krig’s Korner, Episode 3

Krig’s Korner, Part I

James fucked off, and now I have to do everything.

Ok, fine, let’s see what Ryan wants.

Previously, Warugaki donated dozens of billions to the mighty Safety alliance.

BREAKING NEWS: Wrathful Hawk made a superb video!

We now return to our regularly scheduled Krig’s Korner.

Hi. It’s me again. Last time, on Krig’s Korner, Princess Aiko let me out to play and I got into trouble 🙁

Fortunately, Asketus was calm, and I did not elicit an illegal emotional response. Apparently, those are bad. We must refrain from emotions in EvE Online. Any emotional response could provoke an all-out dairy disaster.

I was still in my unemotional Korner when I ran into an emotionally vapid whale. Everyone knows that I love have no particular sentiment toward whales and I merely wanted an emotionless experience. Therefore, I respectfully initiated an emotionfree session with him/her/xie/xe/zim/zur/zing.

Princess Aiko says I can get a little too rough when playing. If I am not nice, she will send me back to the Korner! So, I offered my new friend a fair deal.

The miner accepted my dispassionate proposal.

He even sent some free iskies.

In compliance with the EULA, I felt nothing whatsoever.

Inexplicably, the miner ejected from his spaceship.

Imagine my surprise, when he attempted to gank me.

I could tell he was nervous. Look, when it is someone’s first time, you need to consider their feelings. Don’t just start pounding and smashing. That could elicit an emotional response, and I needed this miner to calm down.

Just like that, the deed was done.

Imagine my surprise, when he abandoned his own Orca.

As a good friend, I contracted it to him. Unfortunately, he did not have enough ISK. I almost felt bad, because nobody wants to be friends with a poor.

Regardless, emotions shouldn’t dictate our gameplay.

His space-lunch money is safe with me.

I left him with some dispassionate advice.

Farewell, old friend.

He lingered for awhile.

I felt nothing, as he faded away.

Suddenly, he tried to bait me into an emotional experience.

However, I still felt nothing.

We are no longer friends.

He had a bad attitude.

WAR ON FRAT

It’s hard to keep track of all my victories.

James 315 was the most influential player in the history of EvE Online, because he placed me on a pedestal of purified antimatter. When I was just an innocent little noobling, he recognized me as a trueborne Princess of Agil.