Content – ‎James 315 Space

Globby Got Dunked

Listening to: Princess We Obey

I’ve been busy.

Previously, antiganker Valryon defected.

Antiganking the gankbears has never been so lucrative!

Globby just inspired me.

That’s right.

Cry harder, bitch.

Can’t think of a more deserving person.

Famous last words…

Nazi around and find out.

#MENTAL

Globby was getting S.A.L.T.Y.

I love it!

I do, for real.

I literally wrote a book on Sun Tzu.

Come and take it, bro.

They had a bad plan, as we anticipated.

Sun Tzu called this, “Tempting the Bull”.

#BAITEDONAFREE

Globby only thought about isk.

We thought about moon cycles.

We gladly gave them enough to hang themselves.

Our plan worked, as always.

We gave them a ~~second~~ ~~third~~ ~~fourth~~ fifth? chance.

We do eventually respond to aggression.

Then they fucked up (again).

So they were punished.

We fucked them up.

Thanks for the year of drama, bro.

“I started with dogfucker Don, and then I moved on to the anti-Semite, and finally I came for the n-word users and that CODE. neo-Nazi who keeps humming Das Horst-Wessel-Lied in Teamspeak… Did you know that song is illegal?“

In EvE Online, politics are wars by other means.

The freighter gankers ~~are~~ were L.O.S.E.R.S.

Like, for real.

This is funny.

Ho ho ho.

I don’t need those people in my alliance.

I gave Globby one final chance.

Consider yourself warned, bro.

Bro, I will fuck you up.

What a bitch.

Mistakes were made (again and again).

It was a bad strategy.

I’ve got new friends now.

Globby actually gave me the idea.

The antigankers love this idea.

Now that’s high praise indeed.

Do I need racists, anti-Semites, and neo-Nazis in my alliance?

Some people just don’t have the right character.

You’ve gotta be cool.

Miners can’t stay calm.

Bro, try breathing exercises.

Meanwhile, Valryon has completed his homage to me.

Your enemies are now my friends.

We did it!

Let’s hear what antigankers say about me.

Even my sworn enemies, acknowledge I’m the best.

My powers are incredible.

There’s no shame in accepting the Mule of Highsec.

Let’s recap.

I guess things are going well (for me).

How are things going for you?

To be continued…

THE GANKBEARS, aggrieved at having no established Executor, sent ambassadors to James 315 entreating for a King. Perceiving their aspirations, he cast down the CODE. The bears were terrified at the splash occasioned by its fall and hid themselves in the depths of Uedama. But as soon as they realized that the huge treatise was motionless, they swam again to the top of the water, dismissed their fears, climbed up, and began squatting on it in contempt. After some time they began to think themselves ill-treated in the appointment of so inert a Ruler, and sent a second deputation to James praying that he would set over them another sovereign. He then gave them Super Perforator. When the bears discovered his simple nature, they sent yet a third time, begging James to choose another. James, most displeased with all of them, unleashed a Princess who preyed upon the bears till there were none left.

Get Wrecked

Listening to: Get Wrecked
Listening to: Get Wrecked (Metal Remix)

I guess I like making music.

Here are some wrecks from Highsec.

Questionable mining themes are popular.

Some miners are more creative than others.

Others… less so.

Calm down, miners.

Return of Princess Tabaqui

Listening to: Dock Up Quick

Recently, Aveve Olerie found a botnest.

They are all dead now.

Meanwhile, SDENSK is still writing essays.

The miners have given me a new name.

Word is getting around.

Hail High Princess Aiko, the Jackal Queen!

That’s right.

Players are massively hearing about me.

I’m a real saddie.

This is what it’s like to be a space celebrity.

Now I’m crying frfr.

They are gonna bully train on me.

There’s a reason I’m so space famous…

Suddenly, my plan went awry!

Wtf?

I overplayed my hand, and SDENSK felt guilty.

Can you guess what happened next?

I overplayed my hand again.

Some people like my attitude.

Others… not so much.

I know how to get what I want.

o7 bro!

Main Character Syndrome

Listening to: UNDOCK and GET DROPPED

Neffi Cake might be allegedly permabanned, but that hasn’t stopped him from reading my blog. Neffi called co-conspirator Srajin, who brought a few shorties, and they let the lyrics flow.

Meanwhile, I’m still hearing from SDENSK.

He knows what to call me.

That’s right.

I tried to tell him.

What an idiot.

I HATE my new nickname.

What out for Aiko and the Poodle Squad.

Nobody wants to be a flying poodle.

Gankers hate that.

I sure hope he gets paid.

Is he asking me out?

Bro…

Grrrr jackalhathathathta

What a sad story.

What?

I guess I’m a typical predator.

At least I’m good at something.

DAY OF THE JACKAL

Listening to: Day of the Jackal

Welcome back.

Yesterday, Aiko and her blue poodle made a mess.

It was the DAY OF THE JACKAL.

BOOM! Headshot.

It was a long day.

I like to stay in touch.

SDENSK knows the JACKAL OF HIGHSEC.

“This message in the local chat is seen by every player of the safe solar system I fly into. Following this message, he sees this: Victory: SDENSK (Praxis*) to back up my words. The players thank me. Amarr, Zhita are no exception. Everywhere I fly, in every solar system where there are players, this message pops up. This will continue daily until you reimburse me for my tractors and my Praxis, which were destroyed by you. Something tells me that in a couple of months, all players who play in safe solar systems will have your gang marked with a red flag. Each of you. When you appear in the locale, everyone will know that freaks have flown into the solar system. I have been doing this for the third day. The more you delay with payment, the more people will put jackals like you on their blacklists. You pay 500,000,000 (five hundred million isk).”

I tried to negotiate.

However, he wants to punish me.

That’s the last thing I want!

This is blackmail and extortion…

I just want an apology.

No deal!

Everybody must know about the jackal.

He plans to tell everyone about my targeted assassinations.

Please don’t throw me in that briar patch!

He’s a professional ~~anti~~advertiser…

Now I’m starting to cry.

In EvE Online, reputation is everything.

Weak minds are susceptible to ~~reverse psychology~~ witchcraft.

He has the upper hand.

The entire playerbase will hear of me.

Then he found the other Aikos.

This is just sadistic!

What a game.

He soon found support in Zhita local.

I create fun content for Highsec miners.

I am Princess Tabaqui, the High Witch of Agil.

Everybody loves me.

Meanwhile, in Zhita local.

> WATCH OUT FOR MARY GUNKINS

Everybody is talking about the jackal.

SDENSK is making big isk!

He’s winning bigly.

That’s right.

Suddenly friends.

o7 bro

Better Than Ever

Listening to: Princess Aiko, Space Librarian

I’m doing great!

Let’s meet a miner…

This one doesn’t like me.

They understand perfectly.

That’s right.

I also understand them.

I guess I’ll look for another target.

Double Isk

Listening to: Aiko Danuja, The Musical

The clue crew knows my score.

Check it out.

That’s right.

I’m not hard to understand.

This train is just getting started.

Are you ready to ride?

My people are the best.

I’ve got some interesting new ideas.

Thank you friends!

Chuggachuggachoochoo!

=COMING SOON TO A TWITCH NEAR YOU=

=PAID ADVERTISEMENT=

=YOUR ADVERTISEMENT HERE FOR 1 BILLION ISK=

o7 James!

That’s right.

I forgive you.

Get Therapy

Listening to: Princess Aiko’s Coming

The Wormhole Police Department is too kind.

Some people accept me, do you?

That’s beautiful.

I’m beautiful!

Let’s check out our Fate and Destiny.

Doing well, as always.

The Dodixie trade hub is under siege!

Miners are easily agitated.

They can mine with Safety…

Now that’s just crazy talk!

I know the cure.

Just kill them.

You Won’t Believe (or will you?)

Only the faithful believe my incredible stories.

I’m a legend in my own time.

I’m making a difference in EvE Online.

I’ve even had some conversations.

> Oh Aiko, you are a doll.

Many like what I have to say.

“I started with dogfucker Don, and then I moved on to the anti-Semite, and finally I came for the n-word users and that CODE. neo-Nazi who keeps humming Das Horst-Wessel-Lied in Teamspeak… Did you know that song is illegal?“

Like I actually have to explain this.

CCP knows the truth about me.

I don’t really scam people.

It’s more of a polite request.

I just kill enemies (or befriend them).

Dreams do come true!

This antiganker know I’m fun and interesting.

A lot of people love me.

I know plebs won’t believe this.

I’m a real-life space witch.

There is a force stronger than PvP.

MANIFEST DESTINY!

My enemies admire and respect me.

I’m happy to help.

This is what the new New Order is all about!

Convert your items into killmails.

Give your stuff to Aiko Danuja.

Thanks for everything.

I often converse with the deceased.

I learned from the best.

Praise James 315! \o/

I’m gentle at the end.

Unlike griefers, I have no malicious intent.

The best thing in the galaxy is friendship with me.

I know I’m the best!

Some people can’t get enough…

He’ll be back.

THE GANKBEARS, aggrieved at having no established Executor, sent ambassadors to James 315 entreating for a King. Perceiving their aspirations, he cast down the CODE. The bears were terrified at the splash occasioned by its fall and hid themselves in the depths of Uedama. But as soon as they realized that the huge treatise was motionless, they swam again to the top of the water, dismissed their fears, climbed up, and began squatting on it in contempt. After some time they began to think themselves ill-treated in the appointment of so inert a Ruler, and sent a second deputation to James praying that he would set over them another sovereign. He then gave them Super Perforator. When the bears discovered his simple nature, they sent yet a third time, begging James to choose another. James, most displeased with all of them, unleashed a Princess who preyed upon the bears till there were none left.