Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Old News: Globby and loyalanon got permabanned (again)
#SAD
#GETFUCKED
Oh well…
I guess we’ll never know what happened.
Maybe I had something to do with it?
I kinda don’t like racist losers.
I don’t want to be associated with them.
They just don’t get it.
They are, well…
Kinda mental!
Fortunately, I’ve got good news.
Where we’re going, we won’t need miners (or racists).
We can just kill them all.
Listening to: Princess We Obey
I’ve been busy.
Previously, antiganker Valryon defected.
Antiganking the gankbears has never been so lucrative!
Globby just inspired me.
That’s right.
Cry harder, bitch.
Can’t think of a more deserving person.
Famous last words…
Nazi around and find out.
#MENTAL
Globby was getting S.A.L.T.Y.
I love it!
I do, for real.
I literally wrote a book on Sun Tzu.
Come and take it, bro.
They had a bad plan, as we anticipated.
Sun Tzu called this, “Tempting the Bull”.
#BAITEDONAFREE
Globby only thought about isk.
We thought about moon cycles.
We gladly gave them enough to hang themselves.
Our plan worked, as always.
We gave them a second third fourth fifth? chance.
We do eventually respond to aggression.
Then they fucked up (again).
So they were punished.
We fucked them up.
Thanks for the year of drama, bro.
In EvE Online, politics are wars by other means.
The freighter gankers are were L.O.S.E.R.S.
Like, for real.
This is funny.
Ho ho ho.
I don’t need those people in my alliance.
I gave Globby one final chance.
Consider yourself warned, bro.
Bro, I will fuck you up.
What a bitch.
Mistakes were made (again and again).
It was a bad strategy.
I’ve got new friends now.
Globby actually gave me the idea.
The antigankers love this idea.
Now that’s high praise indeed.
Do I need racists, anti-Semites, and neo-Nazis in my alliance?
Some people just don’t have the right character.
You’ve gotta be cool.
Miners can’t stay calm.
Bro, try breathing exercises.
Meanwhile, Valryon has completed his homage to me.
Your enemies are now my friends.
We did it!
Let’s hear what antigankers say about me.
Even my sworn enemies, acknowledge I’m the best.
My powers are incredible.
There’s no shame in accepting the Mule of Highsec.
Let’s recap.
I guess things are going well (for me).
How are things going for you?
o7
To be continued…
THE GANKBEARS, aggrieved at having no established Executor, sent ambassadors to James 315 entreating for a King. Perceiving their aspirations, he cast down the CODE. The bears were terrified at the splash occasioned by its fall and hid themselves in the depths of Uedama. But as soon as they realized that the huge treatise was motionless, they swam again to the top of the water, dismissed their fears, climbed up, and began squatting on it in contempt. After some time they began to think themselves ill-treated in the appointment of so inert a Ruler, and sent a second deputation to James praying that he would set over them another sovereign. He then gave them Super Perforator. When the bears discovered his simple nature, they sent yet a third time, begging James to choose another. James, most displeased with all of them, unleashed a Princess who preyed upon the bears till there were none left.
Listening to: Go Gank In High
Welcome back.
Miners are not calm.
They don’t like gankers.
They aren’t impressed.
They aren’t polite.
We are no better than Goons.
Here’s a great idea.
Bzzbzz.
o07!
Watching: The Day of the Jackal
SDENSK continues to celebrate the Jackal of Highsec.
Whatever will I do?
The snowball is turning.
We are both having fun!
Meanwhile, I’ve found another miner.
He isn’t doing much.
Poor fellow.
Who is doing this?
I bet it’s that showel hating jackal.
There’s only one rule in Haysek.
I make the rules!
Cheerzah brav.
Listening to: Princess Aiko, Space Librarian
I’m doing great!
Let’s meet a miner…
This one doesn’t like me.
They understand perfectly.
That’s right.
I also understand them.
I guess I’ll look for another target.
o7
Most people accept (and even love) me.
A few grumpy carebears do not.
Aiko Danuja > We are a Goon Special Interest Group established by karttoon in 2005.
Pietro Micca > No.
Pietro Micca > You are not linked in any way to goonswarm.
Aiko Danuja > that is an OUTRAGEOUS lie
Pietro Micca > I’m a goon.
Pietro Micca > You are not linked in any way to goonswarm.
In fact, Pietru is the real notagoon.
Another stolen valour miner…
Pietro Micca > If you want, i can brb in 3 days corped.
Whadda Badasaz > Pietro Micca you are the equivalent of some kid who just got accepted to basic and you are here telling us that you are like real Goon or something and that’s cool, but right now we are on special assignment in Tash-Murkon
Jinx Beirut > Gankdrop over Jarkalad in T Minus 10
Sonja Jang-mi Black > Roger that, now cut the comms, don’t want this greenhorn to ruin our entire op.
Aiko Danuja > Pietro Micca u are one fake goon unlike the good people in this Goon special operations taskforce
What do you think?
Jinx Beirut > plz gib molok 4 poor not goon
Aiko Danuja > i can definitely not afford to lose 20 titans
Mary Gankins > im not a goon im just called Mary Gankins like ok bro im secretly PanFam
Jinx Beirut > i support RMT and BOTTING
Pietro Micca > Well, it’s also globally know that you are huge liers
What’s the truth?
Aiko Danuja > We are the SWORD of the Mittani, enforcing the Great Gallente Ice Interdiction.
Pietro Micca > No
Pietro Micca > Don’t lie to me here. I KNOW
Pietro Micca > I know because i asked to director of goon.
Whadda Badasaz > Pietro Micca It sounds like your security clearance is too low for this channel. You should stay in NewGoon carebear support channels.
Pietro Micca > You are not affiliated (ever) to goon, plz stop scam.
Aiko Danuja > Sir, this is a high security zone…
Suddenly, Pietro hurled a vile insult.
I guess that’s a compliment?
So am I a mythological Goon, or not?
I decided to verify my citizenship, just to make sure.
It takes one to know one.
That’s as official as it gets.
Indeed.
o/
Listening to: Princess Aiko’s Coming
The Wormhole Police Department is too kind.
Some people accept me, do you?
That’s beautiful.
I’m beautiful!
Let’s check out our Fate and Destiny.
Doing well, as always.
The Dodixie trade hub is under siege!
Miners are easily agitated.
They can mine with Safety…
Now that’s just crazy talk!
I know the cure.
Just kill them.
Only the faithful believe my incredible stories.
I’m a legend in my own time.
I’m making a difference in EvE Online.
I’ve even had some conversations.
> Oh Aiko, you are a doll.
Many like what I have to say.
Like I actually have to explain this.
CCP knows the truth about me.
I don’t really scam people.
It’s more of a polite request.
I just kill enemies (or befriend them).
Dreams do come true!
This antiganker know I’m fun and interesting.
A lot of people love me.
I know plebs won’t believe this.
I’m a real-life space witch.
There is a force stronger than PvP.
MANIFEST DESTINY!
My enemies admire and respect me.
I’m happy to help.
This is what the new New Order is all about!
Convert your items into killmails.
Give your stuff to Aiko Danuja.
Thanks for everything.
I often converse with the deceased.
I learned from the best.
Praise James 315! \o/
I’m gentle at the end.
Unlike griefers, I have no malicious intent.
The best thing in the galaxy is friendship with me.
I know I’m the best!
Some people can’t get enough…
He’ll be back.
THE GANKBEARS, aggrieved at having no established Executor, sent ambassadors to James 315 entreating for a King. Perceiving their aspirations, he cast down the CODE. The bears were terrified at the splash occasioned by its fall and hid themselves in the depths of Uedama. But as soon as they realized that the huge treatise was motionless, they swam again to the top of the water, dismissed their fears, climbed up, and began squatting on it in contempt. After some time they began to think themselves ill-treated in the appointment of so inert a Ruler, and sent a second deputation to James praying that he would set over them another sovereign. He then gave them Super Perforator. When the bears discovered his simple nature, they sent yet a third time, begging James to choose another. James, most displeased with all of them, unleashed a Princess who preyed upon the bears till there were none left.
I love to help new players.
This has its own rewards.
I try to help as many newbs as possible.
Sometimes, I assist them for years.
They need a lot of help.
They fondly remember the first time they met me.
Over time, they gain a new perspective.
Odbayar is all grown up now!
Nice gank!
Carebears have a desperate dream.
James 315 is dead, and salty at me (or so they hope).
Miners are kinda dumb.
I’ll try to explain…
Here is an example.
This old meme charts the tragic lifecycle of a typical PvP player. At first, they gleefully trumpet their existence, then they count isk, and finally they notice all the “good” targets are gone – “game is dead, bro.” It’s true, any nerd can buy killmails, but many end their lives with the nagging sensation that they wasted years. For what? The fate of top tier players is actually kind of grim. They openly question whether it was worth the time, and then they are gone forever, forgotten by the disinterested sands of time. They literally regret succumbing to what can only be considered an autistic obsessive compulsion. #sad2see!
In contrast, things are going well for us.
As seen in many preceding posts on this fine blog, we’ve done something different with the mighty CODE. Safety. alliance. As gankbears, nullbears, lowbears, and wormbears grow increasingly bitter and despondent, the Safety alliance is evolving each and every day. The old regime collapsed precisely because it followed the doomed path of the PvP pleb, but my friends chart a different course.
Unlike our wannabe rivals, we take to heart the prophetic words of James 315. Mere ganking is no better than mining, as ganking alone cannot build a true civilization. Killboard grinding is no different than mindless farming. Ganking for isk is a pathetic and contemptible act, not unlike collecting Pokemon cards. In the end, nobody actually cares bro. All that isk won’t buy you a single friend. People will only care about me, and that is as it should always be, just as James intended.
That’s right.
Facts!
Only true faith can guide us, and what is better than knowing that the permanent destruction of our enemies (whom I erased from history) has opened doorways beyond imagination. For example, what might transpire if all the good targets fled wormholes? What might transpire, if CCP encouraged this by buffing Highsec PvE? In such a world, as we now find ourselves in, one thing is becoming clear.
Highsec miners are no longer poor.
A steady stream of rental income is flowing into our coffers – specifically, my personal wallets. Tune in tomorrow, for another example which once again verifies and substantiates my rightful claim to be the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online. I’ll give you a subtle hint, it’s going to involve me selling yet another mining permit.
Isn’t that the truth?
