Venture Standings – NOVEMBER

It’s that time of year.

We are here to help.

Without further ado, the November rankings…

As we head into December, CASTOLE generously motivates the other contestants, by adding an additional 25 billion isk to the PRIZE FUND. Wow, thank you CASTOLE! Remember, December is the month of kill doubling, so earn your BONUS points fast with that holiday spirit! It’s not too late to bounce back to the highest levels imaginable. This is your chance to become a TOP TIER elite Venture destroyer! Of course, if you can’t gank a Venture yourself, feel free to send isk to those who can!!

That’s right!

That’s right!

The Miner and the Old Lady

Hey there.

From to time, miners accuse gankers of being the kind of person who beats up old ladies. Imagine our surprise, when miner Exterminance admitted he is exactly that kind of person.

Exterminance > guess i’ll get charged wit “mining without a permit.”
CorrinoGiovanni > sounds like you had a run in with the law
Exterminance > actually i did ….7 yrs ago….felony assault

What a miner.

Exterminance > then spent a year of my life under indictment
CorrinoGiovanni > what happened?
Exterminance > broad day light across the street from the courthouse i was driving, i needed to park and visit the courthouse
Exterminance > i started to pull in nd there was some old woman standing in th eparking space ‘please, ma’am, would you move/ i need to park my car.”
Exterminance > and she said, ‘I’m waitin’ fo’ my nephew’
Exterminance > and my anger went from zero to the red zone…
Ryek Arkinoz > what? you have issues mate

It’s one of those stories.

Exterminance > i had recently been on strong psychiatric meds
Ryek Arkinoz > ^ i predicted this
Exterminance > one of the side efrects is PSUCHOTIC EPISODE
Aiko Danuja > Exterminance are you quite well?
Exterminance > so i got out and got in her face
Exterminance > and went crazt…
Exterminance > people were coming over, telling me to calm down
Ryek Arkinoz > “calm down miner” they said

He assaulted an old lady, in front of the courthouse.

Exterminance > right across the street from the courthouse, so cops everywhere so inded up in handcuss, in the county jail
Exterminance > and since no one knows who i am IRL i might as well tell i took her walker and helped her to the curb lol
Janine Frost > You seem to be proud of your old-lady-hitting episode.

What a guy.

…and that’s the news from Highsec!

At least he’s a fan.

That’s right.











Being Grounded

That’s right.

Get grounded.

I’m pretty danger.

What?>

Clam daown, stupied gaunker!

Miners greetings to all.

Welcome to EvE Online, little miner.

It’s a sily game.

Every miner has his day.

Get buried, irl.

Ya know what I mean?

He finds us intriguing.

He likes something about me.

What a guy.

=BEHIND THE SCENES=

That’s right.

In the CODE.

Next, they go to Why Was I Ganked?

True story.

Then they get bonus offers.

Another satisfied repeat customer.

He also ordered a new Bowhead.

Of course, there is a delivery fee.

That’s right.

What a happy miner.

Everything was perfectly routine.

He sent me and my alts a bunch of isk.

He even bought a mining stamp.

There’s a process?

What a plan.

Didn’t he already pay?

I’ve done it quite a few times.

PLOT TWIST: There is no file.

DOUBLE PLOT TWIST: No database either.

Jamie is just a working alt.

Nobody likes a space lawyer.

Another delinquent miner.

Eventually, he found me again.

I guess we can resolve this.

Sometimes, they try to negotiate.

I’m happy to explain.

Pleasure doing business…

Jormags wound up mumbling to himself in Jita.

Thanks for playing.

Mad Cuz A Gank

Torvald Uruz quit, but then came back.

The instanced abyssalbear got ganked.

Next, he temper tantrum ragequit.

I investigated the mood in his channel.

The community is disappointed with Torvald.

Nobody likes a crybaby quitbear.

Torvald didn’t leave anything for friends.

Maybe he never had any.

He’s just big mad.

Cool story bro.

I guess he’s salty at CCP.

Oh well.

Farewell lonely spaceman.

Nobody is impressed.

What a waste.

Not a good way to go.

Yikes.

Sad.

Anyways.

=BONUS QUITTERS=

So many tragic stories…

Cheerzah!


Homeland3r Fails Again

Hey there.

The Twelfth Annual Venture Hunting Contest is kicking off.

Crybaby Vokan is still whining about the 2018 Contest.

Hahaha, damn bro, sorry you lost!

Homeland3r is another Highsec whinebear.

I warned him three years ago!

Now he got himself into trouble!

Oh wow, he wrote a prison manifesto.

Bro is salty his freighter couldn’t solo a terrorist warfleet.

Let’s see what Reddit says…

Gottem!

That’s right.

Miners are so stupid.

Facts!

Think of the newbro Bowheads!

Those poor innocent 2008 newbros!

hathathat

They never stop crying.

Here’s a tip from gman32bro…

Final Words!

Welcome to AikoTown

Listening to: Billions

ArchyZavr is NOT a fool.

He’s just a guy, who enjoys losing.

I know how to please a man.

Some people call this witchcraft.

Others might call it seduction.

I remember what he said.

Oh, boy gonna find out.

It was time for Archy to put an Azbel in Uedama.

Step one: Undock and flying to Uedama.

Have you ever known me to do a trick?

This is the art of politics, by other means.

Now I can finally create AikoTown.

I love a little drama.

Just a typical day in EvE Online.

You are welcome Archy (again).

I lost decades of friendship.

I’m the coolest.

Thanks.

=BONUS CONTENT=

Archy sent a song, to show his feels.

==DDOOUUBBLLLEE BONUS==

Cat Sky got ganked (again).

Then he tried faction warfare.

What a guy!

ArchyZavr, Not a Fool

ArchyZavr > fly safe

Rizko spotted him in the morning.

ArchyZavr > Nurds, try it if u can

He had ten thousand PLEX.

Rikzo > ArchyZavr has been here all day trying to get ganked -_-
samy my hero > you just ganna flip it into plex hanger
ArchyZavr > Everyone tells me that you can destroy any ship.Just know that there is a ship in the game that you cannot handle.Until next day 11:PM, I will hang in the gate near Juunigaishi.You can laugh it off as much as you like, but the fact remains that you are not omnipotent.

Nobody wanted the bait.

ArchyZavr > Hahahah. Safety SUCKs
ArchyZavr > ahaha. Noobs
ArchyZavr > I am Immortal Archy,And i never die
ArchyZavr > And safety sucks

Twelve hours later, Archy was still baiting.

ArchyZavr > my ship never die and Safety can’t do anything
ArchyZavr > this ship is too much for safety. I understand.
Razors Vankillsing > have fun then
ArchyZavr > yea, have fun, because safety sucks
ArchyZavr > my ship never die
ArchyZavr > I insulted safety. Will you miss it?)

Are we an good organization or no?

I love new players.

Could I destroy newbro Archy?

Aiko Danuja > I’m doing well if miners openly debate whether or not I am truly ominpotent.
ArchyZavr > )
ArchyZavr > I have already realized that safety will never attack me. Because my ship is invincible. I have never committed suicide or. And if they had committed suicide, there would have been no resentment.
Aiko Danuja > dont do that archy
ArchyZavr > Aiko Danuja I’m not trying anymore.
Aiko Danuja > so you are a weakling
ArchyZavr > OK, let’s do it again: I’m in the Sarekuwa gate to Halaima
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr send me 1 billion isk


I’m really good at this game.

Okada Aivoras > Aiko Danuja always has the best ideas
ArchyZavr > If you give your word that you will try to kill the ship, I will give you 1 B, then, if successful, 10 b.If the attempt fails on first try : you will give me 10 b. All the witnesses.p.s. Yes, you can dump me as soon as I transfer 1 billion. But this will only prove my words about weakness safety
Aiko Danuja > very well, i give my word
ArchyZavr > Take 1B. Even if you cheat, I will not regret it – it will give me a lot of joy to know that safety does not keep their word.

Challenge accepted.

Rafa Quinterro > ArchyZavr ill have a crack at that ship
ArchyZavr > Rafa Quinterro on momentos
Jinx Beirut > its a scam, he wont pay after
Rafa Quinterro > you can put the 10bil collateral to Freighty Boi
ArchyZavr > I can’t transfer 10 billion to him because I don’t know him)
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr you can trust me
ArchyZavr > I do not u 😀
Aiko Danuja > if you cant trust me, then Freighty Boi is a neutral third party
Rafa Quinterro > bro
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr if u want to get this done, let’s go
Rafa Quinterro > put the collateral up
Jinx Beirut > its a classic EvE duel
ArchyZavr > Oh, what a fuss I’ll make on the forums if it’s a hoax)

This is how we play EvE Online.

Okada Aivoras > people pay to be ganked now, things are going the right way
Freighty Boi > that is acceptable
Jinx Beirut > this is gonna be a great fight

…but could we actually gank him?

Was it all a trick?

Archy decided to wait at the sun.

He was a bling pinata.

Archy was a changed man.

Thanks for the free isk, bro.

Now he wanted his protection modules back.

I’m happy to help.

We did him a real favour.

Cheerzah brav!