Father’s Day

Tee Ka Gets Pkd, Part 1

Previously, Tee Ka tried Highsec PvP.

He lost a lot.

Tee Ka knows I am honest and true.

He’s like a father to me.

We often spend holidays together.

We are there for each other.

For Father’s Day, I played EvE Online with Daddy.

He doesn’t fit his ships very well.

He didn’t appreciate the surprise party.

I don’t even have a blob!!

We had a real heart to heart.

Tee Ka wants to get rich poor quick.

I invited him ganking.

That sounds fun!

His alts are excited to join.

To be continued…

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #247

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #246

Oh, hey there.

I guess it’s mailtime.

Some miners are not upset.

They are quite calm.

Some miners roleplay as notaminers.

No mining in Delve!

That’s right.

This Orca had plenty of ‘no’ warning…

It was all a setup! The miner exposed CCP’s evil ways.

I’m the most upvoted person in EvE forum history.

Unlike some people, I actually play EvE Online.

I get way too much email (unlike James, I don’t have a cute secretary).

It is funny tho.

A mining sniper, and not even his first time…

Bro has been doing that longer than I’ve played.

Send me one billion isk, buy 5 get one free.

Boy, I got so much game up in here.

Wow, just wow.

I can’t wait to hear more.

That’s right.

I won’t tolerate griefing in my alliance.

Sure thing, little buddy.

Ah, but I’m also cute.

That’s my isk/hr.

Hey, I’m having fun)

Lucky Charmz

A killmail in zeroes = real PvP.

He sounds excited.

Wow, there’s another one.

Nice job Apo.

Hey, we’re having fun in EvE Online.

Leena Saishi > considering i’m in a new player area

Just ignore bittervet permaloser whinebears.

Bro claims ‘new player’, at 7 years old.

Muvolailen is not a rookie system.

Miners sure do lie a lot.

There’s only one way to deal with space bullies.

Oh yes.

Slowpoke Gets Poked Again

We’ve killed this one before.

Like all antigankers, DKslopoke is an AFK miner.

He is a certified permapleb.

He’s not any good at EvE Online.

He merely pretends to play.

DK begs to be spoonfed.

Without gankers, there is nobody to antigank. 🙁

So he begged Wrathful Hawk to play.

The antiganker desperately waited for content.

When would Hawk find a target?

Hawk explained that antiganking is boring.

It’s only for dumbdumbs.

However, DL was daydreaming about his previous Stormbringer.

Wow, he antiganked us hard.

Good times.

I guess he had fun?

Once again, DK sat on gate, waiting for hours.

Hawk worried DK would go AFK.

The boy has a reputation.

DK drank alone, while Hawk watched two movies.

Five hours later, Hawk found a target.

Drinkin Drank

Listening to: MEGASAFE

It happened last night.

Oof.

Then it happened again.

That’s truly amazing.

He’s too poor for simping.

He’s just a Highsec miner.

What a pleb.

Miners are to be euthanized, and not heard.

=BONUS CONTENT=

Hananeri Muvila released his AI generated album, with such hits as Safety, Mining, and Aiko Wormtongued My Orca.

MarkeeGankedon

I guess MarkeeDragon is a streamer?

A criminal too…

He’s also hostile??

Apparently, this is his alt???

Oof. That freighter looks like some kind of fat beetle, getting swarmed by ants and slowly ripped apart.

Now, Markee claims CCP gives him preferential treatment (as they do for all streamers), and CCP nobility blesses his stream. He threw out some big namedrops to prove he is CCP approved, and I swiftly recognized one of those names. Clearly, based on this political reality, I must tread carefully, to delicately address a claim which Markee repeatedly alleged (before retracting, and then realleging, and then retracting, before realleging). He accused me of cheating!

So, here is the question of the day – was Markee streamsniped (and thereby griefed, in violation of rules which don’t forbid streamsniping, even though carebears pretend otherwise)?

The answer, believe it or not, is no.

For some reason, perhaps because he got dunked, Markee declined to preserve video evidence. Regardless, any investigation will unveil Mr Markee was indeed autopiloting directly toward me. He tried to argue that he wasn’t, based on his physical proximity to a keyboard, but I watched his stream and heard the phrase “Autopilot Engaged” followed by “Autopilot Jumping”. As Eve Online’s most professional streamsniper, my services were clearly not needed here – autopilot ensured Markee’s inevitable demise. In this particular case, the sniper rolled her eyes, rested her rifle on its tripod, and patiently waited.

Let’s see what streamer simps had to say.

Mmhmm.

As always, they tried to shame us for PvP.

They claim Weekend Kusion Aikos are afraid.

This is the most typical whining.

We’ve heard it ten thousand times before.

Cool chat.

That’s right.

Cheerzah!

Absolute Pleb

It’s not griefing, when you are sincerely salty.

Losers can say whatever they want in EvE Online.

Eventually, he found me.

Gankers have to follow CCP’s EULA.

Crybabies enjoy free speech.

What a guy.

He’s absolutely salty.

This went on for a few days.

Meanwhile, the Absolute Pleb discord had a laugh.

It’s not harassment, when you are bad at EvE Online.

This is what antigankers do.

That’s appropriate language for a miner.

Let’s see what else he had to say.

PLOT TWIST: He likes me more than you)))))) xD

Miners can use all the bad words.

PLOT TWIST: He has a crush on me.

What a classy guy.

I have a solution for miners like him.

There’s your warning, buddy.

PLOT TWIST: Gankers are the coolest people in the galaxy.

Welcome to reality, little guy.

That’s right.

Tee Ka’s Big Revenge

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 1

That’s right.

That’s right!

Tee Ka is a friendly miner.

He’s been around a while.

His alts like to talk him up.

These stories are unbelievable.

Tee Ka is also prone to emotional outbursts.

This is because he was defeated, again and again.

Along the way, his other alt learned to eject.

This is fine with us.

We’ve given him fair warning.

We’ve tried to help.

There he is, a known neutral.

Recently, Tee Ka leveled up…

He ganked an explorer!!!

Even with carebear mods, ganking is harder than it looks.

As Tee Ka celebrated his great revenge…

…he soon discovered kill rights.

Then we ganked him back (again and again).

Two can play that ganker game!

He’s gradually accepted reality.

Another happy miner.

Good for him!

*****POSTSCRIPT*****

Tee Ka went on to die many more times.

CheerZAH!