Indeed.
Oh no!
He’s a real cat killer…
hehehehe
What a guy.
Two hours later…
Uh oh…
$$-BONUS ROUND-$$
I’m not messing around.
Well, I hope he’s sorry!
Cheerzah!
<=PLOT TWIST=>
That’s right.
Glambring FailHammer
Category: revenge
Highsec Miner Grab Bag #248
Nobody can read it all.
An ocean of salt, decades deep.
In EvE Online, you can be anything you want.
Some people are crybabies.
I’m just a tabloid journalist, in outer space.
I’m also a social worker, and your new high princess (hi there).
By many accounts, I’m the best.
I run a real bad corp.
It’s an intergalactic cartel.
My friends are happy to help.
We go way back.
I’ll see you on the gates.
Cheerzah brav.
Mad Cuz A Gank
Torvald Uruz quit, but then came back.
The instanced abyssalbear got ganked.
Next, he temper tantrum ragequit.
I investigated the mood in his channel.
The community is disappointed with Torvald.
Nobody likes a crybaby quitbear.
Torvald didn’t leave anything for friends.
Maybe he never had any.
He’s just big mad.
Cool story bro.
I guess he’s salty at CCP.
Oh well.
Farewell lonely spaceman.
Nobody is impressed.
What a waste.
Not a good way to go.
Yikes.
Sad.
Anyways.
=BONUS QUITTERS=
So many tragic stories…
Cheerzah!
GF
Listening to: More Cat Sky
=Trigger Warning=
Welcome to EvE Online.
Miners never learn.
They are not so smart.
Oh well… bad fortune!
Good fight!
GHarrrhrh gaunkers!
We never forget a bad miner.
That’s right.
xD
o7
=BONUS CONTENT=
Are You Stupid?
I’m the greatest ganker in the game.
Some people call it piracy.
I think it’s just euthanasia.
Fools don’t take me seriously.
Those people are losers.
Look, I simply can’t respect a coward.
Meanwhile, I’m good at what I do.
I can be a real problem for you.
An annoying hassle, one might say.
You won’t like that side of me.
Apologies in advance.
Dunkin Dweebs
Hey there.
We are still ganking.
Antigankers are salty bads.
Totes obsessed with me.
Shaking my head.
Bro, I’m in class.
I’m not a retired bittervet boomer.
Archivist15 is another antiganking failure.
He hacked the CCP servers.
He’s gonna steal our accounts, our stuff, our Discords.
That’s an IRL felony, in game.
The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1986 prohibits knowingly accessing a computer without authorization to obtain information, cause damage, or perpetrate fraud.
Eventually, Archi roleplayed a successful hack.
He’s part of the 315th Global Hacker Division.
Silly antigankers.
High Again
Hey there.
Alright, what’s wrong now…
Ok then.
In EvE Online, miners are never calm.
They don’t like our kind.
The feeling is mutual.
GankersGetHacked
Hey there.
Another day, another miner.
Uh, sorry to hear?
Oh well.
Why not?
Nobody likes a poor.
Now he’s gonna get revenge.
Stay safe Miss Mendax.
Makhzen Darmazaf
Hey there.
Makhzen looks a lot like me.
What a cutie!
Unfortunately, she died.
So we had a chat.
We each learned a lot about each other.
At first, she wanted revenge.
Next, she cried.
Awwwww(((
Would Makhzi quit the game? snif..
She showed everyone her pitiful lossmail.
Perhaps someone would buy her a new one?
No problem, friendo!
I love to help.
Another happy ending!
Code Ready Gelhan, Part 52
Listening to: Get Well Soon
It was the most expensive ship xAtlas42x ever lost.
This made it difficult to fly fearless.
Mission Ready Mining had a real mining problem.
New players were quitting the game, due to endless boredom.
However, Assistance Group was determined to help.
Just in time, Kurisa finished her eyeshadow.
It was time to play EvE Online.
Kurisa, aka Kalorned, is a certified mining instructor.
This time, the Tunnel Snakes won.
This was before my time.
Slayer got slayed, and his own alliance mocked him.
Gandaulf the DeGrey is no longer laughing.
CCP was gonna need to patch the game.
Meanwhile, the biggest corporation in Highsec enjoyed rapid growth.
Hundreds of newbros were joining!
The alliance grew twenty percent in four months.
That was the start of a long slow decline.
Things were about to get worse.
To be continued…
uh oh spaghettio…
