Category: Sales

Barnso Strikes Back

Previously, we met Barnso.

Unfortunately, Barnso did not fly safe.

What happened?

At least he likes me.

Barnso applied for SRP.

Barnso was excited to win 6.21 billion isk.

So he sent me a portion of his prize money.

He also tipped Sargon.

What a nice guy!

Cheers!

=BONUS ROUND=

Molly continues to bump the Miner Hunting Service.

I love my space job!

Miner Hunting Service

Listening to: Bubblegum Bitch

The MHS continues to earn dividends.

Send me isk, and your dreams will come true!

I love to help!

I’m like BLACKFLAG, but way more profitable.

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!

Just listen to these customer testimonials.

Haha, I love EvE Online.

*****

Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll
Don’t care if you think I’m dumb, I don’t care at all
Carebear, sweetie pie, wanna be adored
I’m the girl you’ll die for

I’ll chew you up, and I’ll spit you out
‘Cause that’s what ganking, is all about
So watch me close and orbit me hard
I’m gonna pop your bubblegum heart

I’m Miss Sugar Pink, liquor, liquor purple lips
Hit me with your sweet love, steal me with an isk
I’m a queentex, latex, I’m a ganking maid
Life gave me some lemons, so I made some lemonade
You will pop, baby, here I come
Straight to number one!

Oh, dear diary, I met a boy
He made my doll heart light up with joy
Oh, dear diary, his ship fell apart
Welcome to my life in EvE Online

lorrenzo nub Fails Again

Previously, we met lorrenzo nub.

lorrenzo doesn’t like us.

So he began building a space army.

However, first he went mining.

Ahbazon is a SAFE space.

As a findom, I expect tribute.

Of course, he also needed a mining permit.

Lorrenzo was happy, because mining permits are real.

Oh no!

Drone Task Force was on the case…

To be continued…

Valentines

Not all miners are IRL crybabies.

Some miners even get it.

Barnso was happy to meet a real-life Princess.

He likes the Why Was I Ganked? channel.

Barnso just wants to relax.

I know how to make men happy.

Barnso enjoyed his time with me.

Send isk, and help me build a SAFE space!

I don’t mind.

Barnso even wrote a poem!

What a good boy!

Cheers!

That’s right!

Seek Help

Play EvE Online responsibly.

Experienced agents are standing by.

We want to help you.

However, this is just a game.

Help is available.

I’d recommend Broadcast for Reps, but the last thing you need is ‘help’ from whiteknight carebear virtue signalers.

You are not a victim. You are an addict.

Seek help, in real life.

Listen to me very carefully.

Personal responsibility starts with YOU.

Empower yourself.

I recommend therapy.

Seriously.

Ya know?

Easy Money

Kezzy saw a good deal, but wanted a better price.

Eventually, they reached an agreement.

Easy money.

What happened?

Actually, Kezzy didn’t want that isk anyway.

Trillionaires don’t care about billions.

Who wastes time on a petty eleven bill?

Kezzy is an elite Jita spammer.

Eva is just a small time nobody.

Eva really fucked up.

Kezzy is so rich, he doesn’t care about isk.

He’s not even salty.

:), :D, :p, 😉 proves he is high on copium.

The Battle of Brap

Hello!

I’ve been traipsing through space.

Recently, I found myself in Brapelille.

EvE University sent their best bounty hunter to track me down.

It was a massacre.

Local miners weren’t sure what was happening.

Newbro Kha’ll barely survived.

However, he saw a business opportunity.

Catalyst salvaging is profitable!

Meanwhile, miners kept dying, one by one.

Kha’ll wasn’t even upset.

He just won’t forget.

Kha’ll found his lifelong space nemesis.

It was his first PvP experience.

He doesn’t care at all.

He’s gonna put a 145 on me.

Kha’ll is a real man.

He told me off.

Now I’ve got a real bounty.

Meanwhile, other miners noticed something amiss.

Raja Ovaert scrambled to salvage additional wrecks.

However, Charles Sheldon was mystified.

He was an EvE veteran, but had never seen anything like this.

Major Miner Sheldon soon joined the other wrecks.

Eventually, antiganking reinforcements arrived.

It was a bad day for the miners of Brapelille.

Sometimes, you just need to dock up.

There’s no shame in being afraid.

Thanks for the free advertising!

SSno1

I’ve been busy.

Today, I shall discuss mining permits.

Recently, SSno1 bought a permit pass.

He also bought one for his friend, SSno2.

I love to help.

It’s not a scam!

Unfortunately, SSno1 broke the law.

Can you guess his CODE. violation?

Shadow Cyrilus > SSno1 were you afk?
SSno1 > no
SSno1 > of course not
Shadow Cyrilus > Have you read the code?
SSno1 > yes
SSno1 > of course

Scroll down to find out SSno1’s violation!

Are you ready?

You won’t believe what happened.

SSno1 > I use 2 ships
SSno1 > I need opperate ships
SSno1 > I was ganked
SSno1 > Kill: SSno1 (Capsule) Kill: SSno1 (Scorpion Navy Issue)
SSno1 > I opperates 2 ships
Aiko Danuja > You were using two permits simultaneously which means you need a simultaneous use visa.

SSno1 was using two permits at once!

Multiboxers need a simultaneous use visa.

I also offered to help with his inventory.

I’m an ethical ship doubler.

SSno2 agreed to cooperate.

However, he tried to scam me.

Come on, I wasn’t born yesterday.

Once I got the modules…

…it was time to invite SSno1 to my gingerbread house.

What a happy miner.

He even made a friend.

Nobody griefed SSno1 out of the game.

He left on his own terms.

I’m glad I could help!

SSno1 isn’t a victim – he is a fan!

Best of luck to SSno1’s new owner!

That’s how I roll!

Tannia Got Ganked (again)

Every carebear knows that gankers enjoy griefer roleplay harassment. However, today we will consider another side of the story. Believe it or not, but some miners enjoy the attention.

When Tannia Voxx lost her Golem, she understood that it is important to purchase a mining permit.

As an AFK miner, Tannia was proud to purchase an AFK permit.

Alas, Tannia died again.

You might expect that she would be upset.

Fortunately, I did not ignore her emotional distress.

Like many miners, she enjoyed a prolonged cry.

Contrary to popular belief, miners are not griefed in the Why Was I Ganked? channel. Instead, they study space law.

Tannia had a lot of paranoid concerns.

Ultimately, she purchased a non AFK permit.

Tannia is ready to mine in style!

Yes, some people actually enjoy spending their money on ships that get blown up in a video game. They enjoy getting invited to an ingame channel, where they are told to calm down and send isk.

I love to help the little miners.

Her new corporation is happy to meet her.