Category: Sex

True Love, Part 2

Previously, in the Princess Diaries… Jonathan found a new lady friend.

Like any self-respecting woman, Alt expected him to satisfy her.

He was a simp, but also a poor.

Alt was sorely disappointed, expressing her true feelings.

Jon was desperate to please her.

Later, he discussed the relationship with his mining bros.

He decided to show Alt that he was serious.

However, she was not impressed.

Jon needed to do more.

She demanded respect.

He was frustrated, and she was unsympathetic.

How could Jon earn her favour?

He knew what to do.

Would it work?

Alt took the money, and donated it to charity.

Jon was bankrupt, and resorted to sending love letters.

It wasn’t meant to be.

He decided to explore other opportunities.

True Love

Jonathan knows that angels are real.

Like most miners, he suffers from Dunning-Kruger syndrome.

Jon is an IRL space peasant, with low life expectancy.

Believe it or not, there are more important things than sex.

Miners need to pay rent, taxes, penalties, surcharges, and protection fees.

Jon was glad his spaceship exploded. Now he had a reason to go shopping.

Meanwhile, other miners wandered through my Why Was I Ganked? channel.

Jon began to understand the nature of industrialized griefing.

He thus felt a desire to help, but had little to offer.

He was in love, and struggled with spelling.

To be continued…

BONUS CONTENT

Watch Foo-Foo the Snoo!

This salty miner has several outbursts. Someone is MAD (and AFK)!

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OH LOOK! ASSHOLES!

OH LOOK! ASSHOLES!

OH LOOK! ASSHOLES!

OH LOOK! ASSHOLES!

He claims to be a noob, but we know the truth!

OH LOOK! ASSHOLES!

 

 

 

|_<3\/3

Highsec is full of little surprises.

We don’t like outsiders.

We’ve established our own sovereign regime.

I’m the official head of state…

…and I’m enjoying my EVE career.

I’m good at it!

Men love their little Princess.

I mean, really, they do.

Like, really, really.

I love them too!

I give the boys a real purpose in EVE Online.

I’m just a sexy lady.

Such a good girl.

No wonder James married me…

Toodleoo!

WAR IN HIGHSEC

Aww, that’s sweet.

Oh, dear…

It’s so much easier to gank without CONCORD.

Why would you declare a Valentine’s War on me?

There’s something about me that people don’t understand.

I have a special relationship with powerful men.

It’s just that…

…well…

…I’m not who you think I am.

Sorry to disappoint.


Sun Tzu said that you should know your enemy.

I’m kinda a big deal.

Be careful!

I’m here to help.

It’s kind of what I do.

Ya know?

History doesn’t repeat itself, but it definitely rhymes.

 

 

 

 

Psychopats

He’s lost a lot of spaceships.

Each loss triggers a fresh wave of emotional anguish.

Show some respect to me.

Don’t wind up like him.

Nobody likes a psychopats.

Honestly, there’s a lot of these guys in Highsec.

Maybe it’s just one guy, with lots of alts.

He’s bad at spelling.

He’s bad at grammar.

He kinda likes me.

Ok, he likes me a lot.

OmG, he likes me in real-life!

I know what he needs.

He’s such a bad boy.

 

 

I’m so vain (and hungover)

When I log in, people seem to notice.

It’s not easy… gankin, bloggin, and lookin so fine.

I couldn’t do it without my friends.

I’m just a petite girl, here to save the galaxy (again).

Of course, the New Order has a lot of other great people.

However, I mostly just love myself.

There’s no I in team, but there is a me, and that a stands for Aiko!

I miss you Daddy.

I’m such a good Princess.

Check out the hook, while my DJ revolves it.