Here’s your daily fs.
Category: Tears
LOVE FOR MINERS
CCP loves the little miners.
They are just precious.
The EULA states that they can grief me, and it’s my fault.
I’m just a positive ray of sunshine.
Everywhere I go, the miners are always watching.
I love to meet the common plebs.
I’m just trying my best.
I sure hope nobody has an emotional experience.
Calm down miners!
Peace and Love
CCP wants everyone to calm down.
Everyone Gankers must remain respectful.
We must reject all forms of griefplay harassment.
It is a bannable offense to ignore a miner’s emotional distress.
Every player deserves respect.
Streamers are a privileged caste, with more rights than ordinary players.
I’m just playing an emotionless videogame.
We always treat each other with RESPECT and DIGNITY.
We must never provoke an emotional response.
I have read the secret IceCream annex to the EULA.
You can threaten to rape me in real life, it’s clearly my fault.
PvP is a violation of the EULA, because it triggers an emotional experience.
EvE is a game for peaceful AFK miners.
The player count proves that CCP knows how to develop this game!
Roland
Roland lost a barge.
I’m sure he was calm.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t afford rent.
Roland was having a bad day.
He knows what we want.
Haha, silly miner!
OkaPhil
Everybody loves my blog.
I am in the best Discords.
We getting it done.
Here’s a fun video, in which a miner explains what happened.
OkaPhil really liked the New Whatever.
He sure was excited to get his first killright.
Here’s a little salt.
Ok, bye!
MoonMoonn
MoonMoonn loved her Swiss army destroyer.
However, a strange voice was calling her.
“Vum zu velt, und viiiiiiiine.“
So she added a mining laser, with criminal intent.
For a moment, she was the happiest miner in Highsec.
All good things come to an end.
The end.
Here’s the video!
“Eve is rough y’all.”
LOKA loco
I had no idea what LOKA was crying about.
Apparently, he lost an empty pod.
LOKA was griefed!
Chroepheohyi ganked him with a 200 million isk Catalyst.
Haha, Chroe really screwed up!
Fortunately, LOKA was not salty.
Where is gibasten13+1?
A lot of people (nobody) has been wondering where he is.
gibasten13+1 (aka 100percent loot) has terminal autism.
He was last seen threatening irl violence.
Some people are retarded in real life.
This is what it’s like, to have retards in your alliance.
gibasten14 has a stupid name, with a stupid number.
13+1 is an unlucky number.
He loved that number, and I killed it.
He just couldn’t let it go.
So I kicked him.
Silly carebear, miners can’t be gankers.
However, where is he today?
At first glance, you might think he hates me.
Actually, he is in love.
I’m the most powerful woman in EvE Online.
I’m even the star of my own DALL-E storyboard.
Nice!
Victory in Tolle
Every day brings new victories.
When maximus died, I knew he was special.
He told his mining mates that everything was fine.
He thought he was winning.
maximus orelious > you lost more isk than me
maximus orelious > do the math
maximus orelious > you got schoooled
maximus orelious > yall lost more isk than me lmao
Jinx Beirutbomb > Miner, are you bad at math?
maximus orelious > i only lost 57 mil
maximus orelious > actually less cause my wreck stilll there
Aiko Danuja > How much salvage can you get from a retriever wreck?
Lufiaspawn > you’re all fools, he’ll make that isk back in 2 weeks of mining 10 hours a day!
Maximus didn’t believe a girl could kill an Orca.
If he read my blog, he’d know something.
Krig Povelli taught me a secret trick.
I can’t kill orcas, but my boyfriend can!
Maximus tried to bluff his way out.
Then he tried to scam me.
He even sent an unfit barge!
Meanwhile, the other Procurer tried ganking.
As always, I was victorious.
Nice!
LIVE UPDATE:
Zaenis Visits Aakari
Zaenis Desef recently visited Aakari.
James 315 was nowhere to be found, so Zaenis bumped alone.
Well, almost alone.
Miner blzura was content in Highsec.
He immediately understood what was happening.
This was a bumping.
Can you guess what happened next?
Scroll down to learn what happened next!
blzura decided to teach Zaenis a lesson.
The bully was about to get bullied.
The miners were truly content.
This was about to get serious.
It started with a yellow box…
…and escalated to vapid threats.
The miners were not happy.
They thought Zaenis was a criminal.
They were surprised to learn that they are the criminals!
Some people can’t handle the truth.
tRIgGer3D!1
You might think Zaenis was bullying new players.
You would be wrong about that.
These were just typical Highsec miners.
As the bumping continued, blzura became increasingly distraught.
He just wanted to understand why he was being bumped.
There’s a reason CCP moderates the mining channel.
This is the reality of mining in EvE Online.
#Zaenistoo.
Some people just don’t get it.
This is a war.
We are going to kill the miners.
We have to put them out of their misery.
It’s the right thing to do.
This is the game.
We are going to win.
That’s the law!
Carebears will never win.
This is a High Security Zone (HSZ).
We have the best web page on the Innerwebs…
…and we own Highsec!
Chat, let’s go!
