Listening to: Cleopatra Synthwave
What happened?
Meanwhile, in sunny Ansila…
Category: Victory
Breaking NEWS
Listening to: Satyagraha
It finally happened.
Calm down miner is official.
Like it or not, but I’ve made EvE history.
Hrothbear was the first of many. A funny story about that… He was so desperate to pad his killboard, vowing to NOT SPEAK to anyone who linked the killmail on Zkill. Naturally, Sargon did it about a minute later, leading Saltgar to cry, running away from a chorus of “Calm down miner.” Now, years later, he can relive the experience!
Meanwhile, darkolus has begun his own descent into madness.
Ganked by Nazes, he vowed revenge.
darkolus > No, I’m just going to ruin the channel
Aiko Danuja > doubt
John Steelmerc > the only things miners ruin are our precious natural veldspar belts
Aaaarrgg > darkolus please dont mess up the channel with your miner salt, thats not our thing
Aiko Danuja > Kill: Phat Phil (Griffin)
Aiko Danuja > Kill: rajehem (Obelisk)
darkolus > you’re just ruining this game…
Dave Gates > darkolus ur face is ruining this channel now take a hike already. they’re creating content. if you don’t like it then leave like a sour puss & GTFO
darkolus > No… i won’t… my face gonna keep ruinning this channel…
He is a dark ugly little man…
With broken sentence fragments, he sought revenge.
He even invented a slogan…
…and a business plan!
My channel was ruined by bad grammar and incoherent phrases.
He griefed on me hard.
…but why was he griefing me?
What a crazy miner!
Cheerzah!
Pokegank
Oi!
EvE Online is a lot like Pokemon.
Catch ’em all!
Every miner yearns for a moment of glory.
Drag basked in endgame content.
However, he let his team down.
Drag considered his future in EvE Online.
I urged him to stay.
Oh well!
Woah
EvE Online is one tough game.
That’s why we help newbros!
Sometimes they don’t appreciate us.
Are miners retardado?
I think so, yes.
Oh well.
Cheerzah!
Silly miners!
These are good people, right?
Hm, maybe not.
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
Miners are scrubs.
YAY
Hey-o.
Not bad.
Nice.
Ok, let’s settle down…
Everybody is winning this year!
AFK miners have never been so safe.
We have the best players in EvE Online.
This isn’t your daddy’s game!
I guess that’s another win.
See you next year…
Cheerzah!
NateTheGreat Great
Nate was mining.
That’s not so great great.
Always pay the ransom!
Somehow, Nate lost his Orca?
That was fine fine.
yip yip (screeeeeeeching intensifies)
The true true is this…
Any questions?
Oh no, Natenate got attacked again again.
Duh, because there’s cinnamon swirls in every bite!
That’s how we roll on EZ. Street
Merry Gankmas!
Hi!
I logged in, and was immediately ambushed…
It was the ghost of spring past.
Kotojo doubled my Christmas cheer.
Another happy miner.
Cheerzah!
That’s right.
THE END
Miners never understand the Gankmas spirit.
Oh well.
Anyways…
Don’t forget to claim your FREE quarter-penny unfit frigate!
BONUS CHRISTMAS SALT
Mr Potato Strikes Back
The Von MARK family boasts a starch legacy.
Unfortunately, one of them is a convicted ore thief.
He is a silly potato.
The more on propositioned us.
Gross!
Like all miners, he was a dump of Germany.
Before long, Unterplebkartoffel was frothing at the mouth.
He’s also a Nazi (which is illegal in his country).
Don tu re b uh minor.
Suddenly, the irl Nazi undocked in a ship which could shoot back!
Total Loss: $0.01
However, he forgot to shoot.
In the end, Von MARK was just another spacebully.
Look Both Ways
Listening to: Plain Jane
Miners are dim.
Bears are incompetent.
At least they are calm.
Good fight, miners!
*BONUS CONTENT*
=Interview with A Miner=
Some miners are opinionated.
I decided a long time ago.
We should just kill them.
That gets their attention.
Young Money
Isanamo
Yeah
Ride with the mob, Alhamdulillah
Check in with me and do your job
Aiko is the name, karttoon was a thing
Halaima for the watch, presi Plain Jane
Dodixie chain, rest in peace to my superior
Probes on scan, causin’ mad hysteria
Momma see me on ZKILL and started tearin’ up
I’ma keep killin’ miners, how you get that trife?
I am poppin’ pills like rappers in society
I gank yo Hulk for irony
Buy another or somethin’
I’ma explain why you probably never see me
Chocha magic like Houdini
I go hard in the belt
I’m a classy trillionaire
Antigankers, I swear they are bottom feeders
Catalysts could feed a village in Liberia
Sad
Big or small…
…all miners must die…
That’s for the best.
