Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Listening to: Villains in the Air
Watch out…
EvE Online has a lot of evildoers.
Fortunately, Trey Bakker filed a police report.
So Tip engaged the target.
This was a Golem class maraudership!
Wait a minute…
Is Trey Bakker the bad guy?
He was trying to bribe an agent.
Meanwhile, a clock was ticking.
Suddenly, Krig did a magic trick.
I guess Trey ran out of time!
It was an expensive lesson.
F.L.Y.S.A.F.E.
Listening to: UNDOCK and GET DROPPED
Neffi Cake might be allegedly permabanned, but that hasn’t stopped him from reading my blog. Neffi called co-conspirator Srajin, who brought a few shorties, and they let the lyrics flow.
Meanwhile, I’m still hearing from SDENSK.
He knows what to call me.
That’s right.
I tried to tell him.
What an idiot.
I HATE my new nickname.
What out for Aiko and the Poodle Squad.
Nobody wants to be a flying poodle.
Gankers hate that.
I sure hope he gets paid.
Is he asking me out?
Bro…
Grrrr jackalhathathathta
What a sad story.
What?
I guess I’m a typical predator.
At least I’m good at something.
o7
Watching: The Day of the Jackal
SDENSK continues to celebrate the Jackal of Highsec.
Whatever will I do?
The snowball is turning.
We are both having fun!
Meanwhile, I’ve found another miner.
He isn’t doing much.
Poor fellow.
Who is doing this?
I bet it’s that showel hating jackal.
There’s only one rule in Haysek.
I make the rules!
Cheerzah brav.
Listening to: Day of the Jackal
Welcome back.
Yesterday, Aiko and her blue poodle made a mess.
It was the DAY OF THE JACKAL.
BOOM! Headshot.
It was a long day.
I like to stay in touch.
SDENSK knows the JACKAL OF HIGHSEC.
“This message in the local chat is seen by every player of the safe solar system I fly into. Following this message, he sees this: Victory: SDENSK (Praxis*) to back up my words. The players thank me. Amarr, Zhita are no exception. Everywhere I fly, in every solar system where there are players, this message pops up. This will continue daily until you reimburse me for my tractors and my Praxis, which were destroyed by you. Something tells me that in a couple of months, all players who play in safe solar systems will have your gang marked with a red flag. Each of you. When you appear in the locale, everyone will know that freaks have flown into the solar system. I have been doing this for the third day. The more you delay with payment, the more people will put jackals like you on their blacklists. You pay 500,000,000 (five hundred million isk).”
I tried to negotiate.
However, he wants to punish me.
That’s the last thing I want!
This is blackmail and extortion…
I just want an apology.
No deal!
Everybody must know about the jackal.
He plans to tell everyone about my targeted assassinations.
Please don’t throw me in that briar patch!
He’s a professional antiadvertiser…
Now I’m starting to cry.
In EvE Online, reputation is everything.
Weak minds are susceptible to reverse psychology witchcraft.
He has the upper hand.
The entire playerbase will hear of me.
Then he found the other Aikos.
This is just sadistic!
What a game.
He soon found support in Zhita local.
I create fun content for Highsec miners.
I am Princess Tabaqui, the High Witch of Agil.
Everybody loves me.
Meanwhile, in Zhita local.
> WATCH OUT FOR MARY GUNKINS
Everybody is talking about the jackal.
SDENSK is making big isk!
He’s winning bigly.
That’s right.
Suddenly friends.
o7 bro
Listening to: Gangsta Aiko
I’m now doing requests.
This blog is getting better all the time!
Indeed.
Recently, SDENSK had a bad day.
Wtf?
Bro…
Space littering is a capital felony.
Miners love good girls.
I know what they want.
What’s a shmara?
Guilty as charged!
The hypocrisy is endless.
Are all men the same???
What a charmer.
He wants it bad!
Miners need to keep it in their pants.
Oh, he’s not done?
I sent him a link to my pinterest.
He liked that.
I’m glad I killed him.
Get eaten…
Sounds like a plan!
o7
Rollin’ through the belts, cruisin’ on autopilot,
Highsec grindin’, where the ore be silent.
Got the lasers hummin’, beams so golden,
Stackin’ Veldspar, wallet lookin’ swollen.
Asteroids twinkle, they callin’ my name,
That dank space dust, yeah, fuelin’ the game.
Cargo hold fat, holdin’ all that glow,
But Princess Aiko lurkin’, yo, keep it on the low.
Get that good good ore, stack it to the ceiling,
Space dust in my lungs, yeah, you know the feelin’.
Mining in the zone, gotta watch for the snare,
Princess Aiko a gangsta, she don’t fight fair.
Warp core steady, but my mind stay hazy,
Clouds of that green, keep my moves all lazy.
Rock after rock, yeah, I’m claimin’ my stake,
But them gankers out here, man, they plot and they take.
Comets rain riches, but it ain’t all sweet,
Galaxy’s a jungle, gotta watch your fleet.
Princess Aiko , she a queenpin in the void,
Pop your pod quick, leave your ship destroyed.
Get that good good ore, stack it to the ceiling,
Space dust in my lungs, yeah, you know the feelin’.
Mining in the zone, gotta watch for the snare,
Princess Aiko a gangsta, she don’t fight fair.
Listening to: Princess Aiko, Space Librarian
I’m doing great!
Let’s meet a miner…
This one doesn’t like me.
They understand perfectly.
That’s right.
I also understand them.
I guess I’ll look for another target.
o7
Most people accept (and even love) me.
A few grumpy carebears do not.
Aiko Danuja > We are a Goon Special Interest Group established by karttoon in 2005.
Pietro Micca > No.
Pietro Micca > You are not linked in any way to goonswarm.
Aiko Danuja > that is an OUTRAGEOUS lie
Pietro Micca > I’m a goon.
Pietro Micca > You are not linked in any way to goonswarm.
In fact, Pietru is the real notagoon.
Another stolen valour miner…
Pietro Micca > If you want, i can brb in 3 days corped.
Whadda Badasaz > Pietro Micca you are the equivalent of some kid who just got accepted to basic and you are here telling us that you are like real Goon or something and that’s cool, but right now we are on special assignment in Tash-Murkon
Jinx Beirut > Gankdrop over Jarkalad in T Minus 10
Sonja Jang-mi Black > Roger that, now cut the comms, don’t want this greenhorn to ruin our entire op.
Aiko Danuja > Pietro Micca u are one fake goon unlike the good people in this Goon special operations taskforce
What do you think?
Jinx Beirut > plz gib molok 4 poor not goon
Aiko Danuja > i can definitely not afford to lose 20 titans
Mary Gankins > im not a goon im just called Mary Gankins like ok bro im secretly PanFam
Jinx Beirut > i support RMT and BOTTING
Pietro Micca > Well, it’s also globally know that you are huge liers
What’s the truth?
Aiko Danuja > We are the SWORD of the Mittani, enforcing the Great Gallente Ice Interdiction.
Pietro Micca > No
Pietro Micca > Don’t lie to me here. I KNOW
Pietro Micca > I know because i asked to director of goon.
Whadda Badasaz > Pietro Micca It sounds like your security clearance is too low for this channel. You should stay in NewGoon carebear support channels.
Pietro Micca > You are not affiliated (ever) to goon, plz stop scam.
Aiko Danuja > Sir, this is a high security zone…
Suddenly, Pietro hurled a vile insult.
I guess that’s a compliment?
So am I a mythological Goon, or not?
I decided to verify my citizenship, just to make sure.
It takes one to know one.
That’s as official as it gets.
Indeed.
o/
Listening to: Aiko Danuja, The Musical
The clue crew knows my score.
That’s right.
I’m not hard to understand.
This train is just getting started.
Are you ready to ride?
My people are the best.
I’ve got some interesting new ideas.
Thank you friends!
Chuggachuggachoochoo!
=COMING SOON TO A TWITCH NEAR YOU=
=PAID ADVERTISEMENT=
=YOUR ADVERTISEMENT HERE FOR 1 BILLION ISK=
o7 James!
That’s right.
I forgive you.
Listening to: Princess Aiko’s Coming
The Wormhole Police Department is too kind.
Some people accept me, do you?
That’s beautiful.
I’m beautiful!
Let’s check out our Fate and Destiny.
Doing well, as always.
The Dodixie trade hub is under siege!
Miners are easily agitated.
They can mine with Safety…
Now that’s just crazy talk!
I know the cure.
Just kill them.
My ice agents enforce the law.
We remove illegals from Highsec!
No miner is too small…
You can do a miner today!
They say the same stuff to me.
I don’t have to do it alone.
Yes sir!
Now, that’s just not appropriate…
Calm down miners.
Populus Prime > and you continue to kill each other in the ass
