Believe it, or not, some people still bump miners.
The miners don’t understand.
Endoma was upset, and confused.
Fortunately, William presented a clear plan of action.
There’s a reason mining permits cost more than 10 million isk.
Cheers!
Author: Princess Aiko
Kiara Gone Wild, Part 7
Previously, in Aiko Space… Kiara paid 520 million isk for a retriever, but the Gankers Union was bumping in Uedama. So she had to pay another 10 million…
…and another 10 million…
Actually, she still owes 10 million.
Kiara was running out of money.
She couldn’t even afford insurance.
Everyone was pleased.
Later, Kiara wondered when she would get her retriever.
She waited and waited.
I suppose waiting is relaxing.
Kiara spent a whole day, relaxing in Jita.
The next day, she woke up, ready for her retriever.
She wondered when her shipment would arrive.
She waited and waited.
Then she waited some more.
The end.
BONUS CONTENT
Here is amazing behind the scenes footage of Kiara’s reaction, when she realized she was starring LIVE on james315.space!
Ultimately, Kiara was content.
Highsec Miner Grab Bag #232
I am Princess Aiko.
My agents keep me well informed.
My fans flatter me endlessly.
My enemies cry daily.
I know the best people in the galaxy.
I also know the worst.
Kiara Gone Wild, Part 6
Previously, in AikoSpace… Kiara lost her ships, and paid 520 million isk for an appointment with Princess Aiko. There was only one last thing to address.
Kiara Wildmann > what about the retriever?
Kiara Wildmann > how i get my retriever
Kiara sat amongst the other miners, awaiting her turn to enter the throne room. She was reassured to see everyone was getting assistance, and to learn that Aiko is truly the most gracious and magnificent of all.
Eventually, Kiara was ushered into the presence of Her Royal Highness (HRH). As it so happened, this was Aiko Day, which James 315 proclaimed as a day to reflect upon and truly appreciate Lady Aiko.
Aiko was in a good mood, and infinitely merciful.
Aiko was willing to grant a free retriever, but Kiara needed to cover shipping
Kiara Wildmann > she did lie if you say she didnt ok than lets call she hide it sounds better?
Aiko Danuja > Calm down miner.
Aiko Danuja > You paid all this money to get my attention, and now I am willing to give you the retriever, but all this crying and wailing is going to cause me to look away from the screen again.
Kiara Wildmann > ok fine i stop i be silent
Aiko Danuja > Right click my name, select give money.
Aiko Danuja > Good girl.
Aiko’s personal royal delivery driver is Whadda Badasaz.
Whadda Badasaz > I am ready to deliver the retriever, who am I giving it to?
Aiko Danuja > Kiara Wildmann
Whadda Badasaz > Ok, where am I delivering the retriever to?
Kiara Wildmann > Jita IV – Moon 4 – Caldari Navy Assembly Plant
Whadda Badasaz > Ok, I’m on my way.
Kiara Wildmann > alright
Aiko Danuja > Excellent. Everything’s in order then.
Kiara Wildmann > can´t say that but i said i will be silent so i´m silent
Aiko Danuja > Kiara, do you want to say thank you, to everyone that’s worked so hard to help you today?
Kiara Wildmann > after i got my ship
Aiko became concerned that someone wasn’t appreciative.
Aiko Danuja > How hard is it to say “Thank you.”
Kiara Wildmann > Danuja i said i say thanks
Whadda Badasaz > I don’t want to haul this thing all that way and then not even a thank you??
Kiara Wildmann > i say thanks i Whadda gave me that ship i say thanks to him to you to Akasha
KazenHoax > And me?
Kiara Wildmann > and KazenHoax
Kiara Wildmann > but understand me i got fooled and tricked today
Aiko Danuja > You did?
Kiara Wildmann > i learnd not to trust
Suddenly, something terrible happened…
Like most haulers, Whadda lived in abject terror, constantly worrying that the Ganker’s Union would find him. At long last, they had him bumped down in Uedama, and Kiara’s retriever was inside the freighter!
Kiara was happy to help.
However…
To be continued…
A Special Day
Listening to: CODE. Mix
Today is a special day, for it was one year ago today, that Princess Aiko liberated Highsec from the dreadful tedium of eternal victory. Many thought the golden age of ganking was finally over, and miners rejoiced that they might obtain ice in Halaima, without fear that Catalysts would bump them out of mining range.
Yes, it’s true. I am Aiko, come again to save you from yourselves.
Over the past year, I have learnt much, namely that I am now perfect.
There are many alliances, some better than others, but I find them decidedly inferior. This is a bold claim, but consider for example, the mighty Goonswarm Federation managed 22’873 kills in June, with a total value of 2.58 trillion isk. This required more than 2200 active members, averaging 10 kills per member, with an average value of 100 million isk per kill. In contrast, my alliance has just 53 active members, averaging 40 kills per member, with an average value exceeding 400 million isk.
The lesson is clear, if you cut the bullshit and trim the fat, a nimble aggressive fleet is far superior to any bloated blob. karttoon was right. I should know. We don’t need miners, bears, blues, or keepstars. Kill them all.
I’ve got no quarrel with James 315 or the Mittani. They have both done an equally fine job of trying to manage a filthy nest of carebears. However, as we discussed, I’m done trying to manage plebs. There is a better strategy.
I’ve considered your suggestion, and concur.
Let’s kill them all (again and again).
No traps here, friend!
I’m a Princess.
That’s why James 315 loves me.
Always!
)))
I’m the best.
You again…
Two possibilities exist…
Either you are alone in the universe, or you are not…
Both are equally terrifying…
Sorry, I don’t date poors.
Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?
Kiara Gone Wild, Part 5
Previously, in Aikotopia… Kiara lost two ships, and needed help. So when Karma offered to summon Princess Aiko, a known whore, Kiara gladly paid.
Kiara Wildmann > what i do for a refound of my retriever ?
Akasha Thorne > send me 220 million ISK
While awaiting the arrival of Her Royal Highness (HRH), Kiara whispered to one of the ladies in waiting, hoping for some advice.
Kiara Wildmann > thats the taxes how i can trust you while i got fucked 3 times todays?
Kiara Wildmann > i´m not unwilling
Akasha Thorne > I’m glad to hear that ^-^
Kiara Wildmann > glad that i got tricked’?
Akasha Thorne > that you’re not unwilling
Kiara Wildmann > how i can trust you i guess you understand that why i´m asking that to prove your trustworthy
Akasha Thorne > I can issue you a permit
Akasha explained that mining permits were required by the Constitution of New Halaima, and suggested that Kiara buy one.
Kiara Wildmann > hears what i can offer if i get my retriever fitted back as a refound i pay the price but idc about the permit i just want my lovely silent peace so long i got my marshal+fitting than i fly back in my home region wide wide away from jita
Akasha Thorne > you will never know peace
Kiara wanted to pay her way through Highsec, taking her Marshal far from Halaima. However, without a permit, she would always be in violation.
Kiara Wildmann > i pay the price but want my peace a long that i buy and fit my ship that i wanted why now aggressive ?
Akasha Thorne > you can pay and have a permit
Kiara Wildmann > thats means?
Akasha Thorne > you will receive a permit
Kiara Wildmann > ok
Akasha Thorne > we will help you
Instead of using some mystical Jedi mindtricks, Akasha merely calmly explained to Kiara what she could do, and what she was going to do.
Kiara Wildmann > what about the retriever?
Akasha Thorne > your retriever has been impounded
Kiara Wildmann > how i get my retriever
Akasha Thorne > we have reclamation agents
Kiara Wildmann > i really hope you dont trick me
Ah, but when could Kiara resume mining?
To be continued…
Soon
Listening to: DJ Boris
I’m a Princess.
Do you have full faith?
I’m in love with myself.
I do well by doing awesome.
Together, we can burn Highsec.
I’ve been seeing signs on the in-gates.
Something is gonna happen.
When your grandchildren ask what you did…
…back when Aiko was just getting started…
…at least you can say you weren’t mining ice in Abudban.
I’ve got a very long memory.
I just love stealing bases.
You know what I mean?
*****
Just a capsule, a pod lost in space, oh
Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh
More loneliness than any miner could bear
Biomass before you fall into despair, oh
I’ll send an S.O.S to the world
I’ll send an S.O.S to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
A year has passed since I did that thing
I should have known this right from the start
Only kills can keep us together
Ganks can mend your life
Or they can break your tank
Warped in this morning, I don’t believe what I saw
Hundred billion Orcas, AFK on the ice
Seems I’m not alone at being alone
Hundred billion bears, looking for a friend
I’ll send an S.O.S to the world
I’ll send an S.O.S to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, oh
Message in a bottle, yeah
Sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
Sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
I’m sending out an S.O.S
Kiara Gone Wild, Part 4
Calm down, and check out this amazing video from Zaenis Desef!
*****
Previously, on Aiko’s blog… James 315 vanished inexplicably, but Kiara still lost her barge, and her reverse-technologied alien battlecruiser. This wasn’t fair. Nobody told her about the law, it wasn’t posted in Jita. Why?
Kiara Wildmann > what the fuck i want in highsec never was my goal i´m just in jita to buying a fucking marshal and flying back to minmatar what the fuck i want in your or They lovely fucking highsec?
Kiara was a tourist, and she wanted out of the theme park, and off the ride. Indeed, she felt Highsec was some kind of horror show dystopian grocery store, like I described in my award-winning short story published by EVE Onion.
Kiara Wildmann > its not my fault that your playerbase to lazy to spread the word i´m not unwilling but explain why i should pay for something i didnt know you would pay for a visit store after to want to get out of the store and the storeowner tells you you have to payed the entry? what fines?
Indeed, Kiara was willing to pay 300 million isk, to escape Highsec.
Kiara Wildmann > no no i´m not begging í´m not unwilling but i will not begging i want refund my retriever i´m willing to pay 300.000.000isk and i will no longer mining around jita but for that i want my retriever and my peace i leaving jita to and travel back to my home location i pay the isk i called but i want my peace and my retriever
Karma Bad > send it to the princess
Kiara also wanted her retriever, and whatever fittings.
Kiara Wildmann > it was a retriever possible you can get the infos what was fitting in
Karma Bad > im sure its on zkill
Kiara Wildmann > i leaving jita to and travel back to my home location i pay the isk i called but i want my peace and my retriever
Karma Bad > send it to the princess
Kiara Wildmann > no you asking and offered me your help
Karma Bad > …. so you want me to directly negotiate on your behalf with the princess?
Kiara Wildmann > you offered me your help dont you?
Karma Bad > sure ill do it. send me the isk
Kiara Wildmann > nevermind
Karma Bad > I do not start private chats with the princess without isk first
Like many miners, Kiara wanted to negotiate a business deal.
Kiara Wildmann > i pay you now 150m for sending it 150m if she message me or you thats its fine and i get my retriever deal? 150m now 150m after her answer there is no risk for you
Karma Bad > I like the idea of a down payment but in full
Kiara Wildmann > i trust you in any way but thats isk you know? i trusted grey and he leads me in a trap
Kiara wasn’t sure Karma would speak to me, but she decided to trust him.
The terms of negotiation were unclear, but I’m pretty sure Kiara did not purchase a mining permit. That’s unfortunate.
Kiara Wildmann > i dont pay the lincense if i do that than i would take that out that i travel back make sense or? and no no dude thats not working on that way i trusted grey´s and gets really fucked up i learned not to trust to make everyone but fine bringing myself in complaince because i learnd not to thrust anyone? i dont want that membership if i would pay for that i wouldnt fly back to minmatar or?
Karma Bad > ok
While Kiara was waiting for my response, she reached out to Akasha.
Kiara Wildmann > your there?
Akasha Thorne > I’m here 🙂
Kiara Wildmann > what i do for a refound of my retriever ?
Akasha Thorne > send me 220 million ISK
Some people know exactly how to help miners.
To be continued…
Always!
The New Order is a wonderful community.
Everybody is having a great time.
Mining permits are now on sale!
We are here to help.
Believe it or not, some miners thank us.
Some pay for nothing at all.
Others pay me to gank them.
Pumpkin Singingblade > i am a fan of perma loss
Pumpkin Singingblade > the fun of the game is to risk assets
hiboman man > so what are you going to do now
Aiko Danuja > since you enjoy the risk, you should pay me
Pumpkin Singingblade > well
Aiko Danuja > I forego free AFK mining isk in order to bring you the fun and enjoyment you desire.
Some people wonder what’s the difference between Safety. and Code.
I suppose there’s not much difference at all.
Me and James even ganked the same miner.
So let’s just pipebomb the haters out of existence !
Cheers!
Kiara Gone Wild, Part 3
Previously, in AikoSpace (that’s MySpace)… Kiara lost a Retriever, and a Drekavac. She didn’t like this, so she decided to investigate.
Karma Bad > pay Princess Aiko Danuja
Kiara Wildmann > thats a whore sorry but a whore and not a princess
Her investigation led to me, as all things do.
Kiara Wildmann > if that a princess than she would take care that this law link gets sprayed around the system
Kiara envisioned an alternative to Fozzie sov. What if one could claim space, simply by urinating on random bushes, trees, and metal poles? Regardless, Kiara claimed ignorance of existing game mechanics, and claimed immunity.
Kiara Wildmann > i hang here a week around in jita and i didnt read anything about that im local chat
Kiara spent a full week carefully reading the special offers in Jita, and not once did she hear anything about me, the Code, the New Order, or James 315.
Karma Bad > just do a google search
Kiara Wildmann > really?
Karma offered good advice, but Kiara wasn’t listening.
Kiara Wildmann > again
Kiara Wildmann > and again i say it
Kiara Wildmann > i didn´t know it
Kiara Wildmann > if i didnt know it that its exists so HOW i should google it?
Kiara Wildmann > explaine that
Kiara Wildmann > HOW
Kiara Wildmann > HOW i do that
Kiara Wildmann > i cant google something that i never heard about it or know it thats it exists right or wrong?
Like most miners, Kiara was not calm, and just wanted a Marshal.
Kiara Wildmann > what the fuck i want in highsec never was my goal i´m just in jita to buying a fucking marshal and flying back to minmatar what the fuck i want in your or They lovely fucking highsec?
Karma Bad > dunno
Kiara Wildmann > so explaine how i can google it if i dont know it?
Kiara Wildmann > two times i got ganked
Kiara Wildmann > so shooting down every player that didn´t know thats exists and cashing isk from that is fair or how i should understand you? they didnt contact me they just shooting me down zxc had a warp interupter so i could fly away so or so not whats the fucking big deal to hold me down and contact me?
Karma Bad > sounds about right
Kiara Wildmann > read it again
Karma Bad > correct
Kiara Wildmann > wheres the big deal to interupt my warp and contact me with a warning that i get shoot if i dont pay no interupt the warp shoot me down than say NOW YOU KNOW IT NOW PAY WOW thats great thats sounds fiar oh sorry concord is my problem?
Kiara Wildmann > contact first he will see it if the player or bot are about to warp and interupt it than shoot it down so again or should we stop now? how can a player that he doesnt know that the law link exists goggle it?
Karma Bad > Code is always accepting more enforcers, to help spread the word, if you believe there should be a different way.
Miners can’t become gankers, they are psychologically incapable. However, as a courtesy, we always offer the opportunity.
Karma Bad > but…. it also sounds like you dont like aiko
Karma Bad > so….
Liking me, like like liking me, is absolutely required by law.
Kiara Wildmann > i dont like her how she act with now you know it now pay no one cames to me and tells me theres a law link nobody here in jita and around of jita so basicly i dont know it explain how i should know it if the big list of players here to spread the word i DONT pay that why i should pay for someting that i didnt know?
Karma Bad > ….
Kiara Wildmann > its not my fault that your playerbase to lazy to spread the word i´m not unwilling but explain why i should pay for something i didnt know you would pay for a visit store after to want to get out of the store and the storeowner tells you you have to payed the entry? what fines?
Karma Bad > there are fines
Kiara Wildmann > what thats means
Karma Bad > its just to bring you into compliance
Kiara Wildmann > would you pay the price to enter a store after you wants to leave this store? fact you didnt know you have to pay the enter price after leaving so explain what we do? i dont pay something nobody explains nobody calls it and i dont mean eve i mean a fucking regular store world wide in every city but i´m not unwilling sounds just not fair for a new player
Karma Bad > its just the law
Karma wanted to help, but Kiara was uncivilized.
Kiara Wildmann > dont go this way i´m not trying to break a law, i cant break a law if i dont know it! we had that point already noone cames to me and explains that nobody gave me the information about that link we had that point thats impossible to google something if the person dont know it now you come with trying to break the law
Karma Bad > yea
Kiara Wildmann > you offered me your help your asking me if you can help so explain i´m not unwilling but that price is for not knowing anything really unfair
Karma Bad > Aiko is the ruler of all
Karma decided to focus on basic facts.
Karma Bad > you have to take it directly to aiko and beg her forgiveness
Kiara Wildmann > no no i´m not begging í´m not unwilling but i will not begging i want refund my retriever i´m willing to pay 300.000.000isk and i will no longer mining around jita but for that i want my retriever and my peace i leaving jita to and travel back to my home location i pay the isk i called but i want my peace and my retriever
Karma Bad > send it to the princess
Did you catch that?
i´m willing to pay 300.000.000isk
To be continued…