WAR IN HIGHSEC

Aww, that’s sweet.

Oh, dear…

It’s so much easier to gank without CONCORD.

Why would you declare a Valentine’s War on me?

There’s something about me that people don’t understand.

I have a special relationship with powerful men.

It’s just that…

…well…

…I’m not who you think I am.

Sorry to disappoint.


Sun Tzu
said that you should know your enemy.

I’m kinda a big deal.

Be careful!

I’m here to help.

It’s kind of what I do.

Ya know?

History doesn’t repeat itself, but it definitely rhymes.

 

 

 

 

Psychopats

He’s lost a lot of spaceships.

Each loss triggers a fresh wave of emotional anguish.

Show some respect to me.

Don’t wind up like him.

Nobody likes a psychopats.

Honestly, there’s a lot of these guys in Highsec.

Maybe it’s just one guy, with lots of alts.

He’s bad at spelling.

He’s bad at grammar.

He kinda likes me.

Ok, he likes me a lot.

OmG, he likes me in real-life!

I know what he needs.

He’s such a bad boy.

 

 

icecreamtruckicecreamicetruck

You’d better hurry, or you’ll miss the train.

Choo! Choo! All aboard!

I’ve seized control of the once mighty CODE. alliance.

This boat is finally starting to move.

We are steadily expanding into new uncharted territories.

We are a powerful nullsec empire.

The nullbear whore gnashes her teeth, and knows mine name.

That’s right.

You miners better be scared.

Otherwise, you are definitely gonna die.

Silly bears.

It’s just good business.

Let’s fight!

 

 

 

A Slow Death

Everybody agrees.

My new alliance is wonderful.

We love to help newbros.

We are there for you, every single day.

We provide guaranteed content, whenever you find time to log in.

Feel free to join us!

Just don’t cross me, boyos.

Some people call me a cyber space bully.

Honestly, it doesn’t end well for mine enemies.

Be careful!

Watch out for spider traps!

=BONUS VIDEO=

Watch this old man die, slowly.

 

Only in Olfeim, Part 2

Previously in James 315 space… Julian Snelders staked out a claim for the New Order, in low security space, bravely defending himself against miners (without the protections of CONCORD or the faction police).

Local miners began to shun him.

They shamed him.

They refused to play with him.

When noks1k completed his exodus, Julian was waiting.

noks demanded immediate reparations.

Julian owes him a new warpcore stabilizer!

Meanwhile, noks needs to attend a remedial computing basics course.

Although, he insists everything is under control.

Ultimately, noks is just another Highsec scammer.

He even tried to extort Julian.

Apparently, noks is under the impression that we protect miners.

He thinks we need miners.

This is just sad…

Poor miner!

 

 

 

 

Only in Olfeim

Listening to: Friends in Low Places

James 315 taught us to be scared of lowsec, because we cannot gank without CONCORD protection. I always hesitate before heading there, knowing it is safer to go the long way round, with my faction police escort. However, the new Safety. alliance includes members who have never even spoken to James.

Julian Snelders was recently hanging out in Olfheim, a scary 0.4 place which is rumoured to harbour mean space griefer bullies. Julian sure was surprised, when he discovered that pirate captain chummstick was just a typical Highsec miner.

chummstick was amazed by Julian’s elite PvP prowess.

After conquering Olfheim, Julian decided to rule the system in my name.

It sure is a small galaxy.

Pro tip: Look how much better my screenshots are!

After encountering me in Isanamo, noks1k fled to Olfeim.


Did noks really think he could escape the long arm of the law?

To be continued…

The last one to know
The last one to show
And I saw the surprise
And the fear in his eyes 

‘Cause I’ve got friends in low places
Where the Tengus cloak
And the tidi chases my blues away
And I’ll be okay 

Think I’ll slip on down to Heimatar
Oh, I’ve got friends in low places
Blame it all on my roots
I’ve been there before

 

 

 

 

How to Sell a Mining Permit, Part 10

Previously, in James 315 space… We learned about little Odbayar, the Mongolian menace, who lost everything in order to please Princess Aiko.

Carebear crybabies often wave the white banner, loudly proclaiming that so-called ‘scams’ are bad for the game. However, in fact, Odbayar never quit EVE. Instead, he’s doubled down, losing everything with gusto. If you don’t kill him, and take his stuff, I guarantee someone else will.  He clearly enjoys it.

Everybody loves to play EVE.

Shadow Cyrilus recently found A Cupcake, who craved thirty permits.

Shadow presented her with a solid financial plan, including options.

She selected a personalized plan, which fit both her needs and budget.

This is how you sell thirty lifetime mining permits. Easy!

Good job Shadow.

Eat that cupcake.

Nom. Nom. Nom.

It sure looks tasty.

Why is it getting so agitated? Cupcake, calm down!

Look, it has a friend!

Oops.

Oh no!

I’m sure they’ll be fine.

It was all just a misunderstanding.

That’s right.

To be continued…