Author: Princess Aiko

Lazar Ragar

Previously, we met Highsec miner Lazar us, who continues to struggle with the fact that EVE Online is more difficult than Fortnite. Unfortunately, although Lazar voluntarily broadcasts himself to the entire galaxy, he seems to consistently regret this (and winds up deleting all videos and clips). Luckily, someone took the effort to record a few clips, and someone else uploaded them to the galactic interwebs.

Thanks to everyone who creates and preserves  important moments in EVE history.

If you encounter such glorious moments in your own exciting space adventure, rest assured that Princess Aiko Danuja is here to ensure that your heroic story is not lost to the sands of time. Feel free to contact me (and send isk).

DISCLAIMER: Several whiteknights have contacted me with grave concern about the continuation of “toxic CODE. style ganking”, which they view as a form of “spacebully griefing” which is “illegal” and likely to cause “severe mental distress” for carebears. Rejoice, knowing that Princess Aiko will never hesitate to assist those who dedicate their lives to the mindless repetition of boring stale content.

If you find this objectionable, you may file complaints with James 315, who will respond just as soon as he feels like it.

All the money

It sure sucks to lose everything.

Am I a down bad girl?

Maybe I’m just scared.

Perhaps, I’m racist against carebears.

Yea, and the Jamespocalypse did render Safety unto the miners.

So we are gonna keep going.

It’s not always the most engaging gameplay.

Our opponents aren’t exactly competent.

However, I find this rather amusing.

Also, I appear to be winning.

I like that!

Still Down Bad

Previously, we met Lazar us, an incompetent Highsec miner. We learned he is an infinite salt mine. Lazar deleted his videos, in which he began crying, and raged so hard he fell out of his chair.

I guess he doesn’t like me.

He is nauseated by my crying miner tattoo.

I don’t know why, other miners love my tattoo.

Lazar hates the CODE., even though he can’t spell it.

He is down bad, bros.

Meanwhile, his stream is becoming more popular.

Even high ranking carebears are watching.

On the forums, Lazar learned he is the victim of cybercrime.

While on hold with his ISP, Lazar read his chat.

He was not surprised to learn Aiko is a thot.

How could he defeat her simp army?

Meanwhile, Lazar and his friends continue to lose.

They tried to spin defeat into victory.

Before long, they decided to blackmail Aiko.

They have all her private photos and videos.

However, Aiko was not worried.

She already seduced one of Lazar’s miners.

So he started killing miners.

If you can’t beat them, join them!

PSA

It’s important to follow Safety. precautions.

An official inspection might happen at any moment.

We have developed a holistic system to facilitate your training.

If you follow our advice, you will succeed.

If you disobey, you will have unexpected visitors.

They might arrive when you are distracted.

Sometimes, they stay a little longer than you like.

Sure, you can pretend you don’t mind the inconvenience.

You can even make your own ‘laws’ to defend yourself.

However, eventually, you’ll start to notice a consistent pattern.

You’ve already lost.

That sucks!

New Post

Everybody is concerned about the mining menace.

Space bully griefers are a threat to their own Safety.

Miners pride themselves on their ability to survive.

However, they aren’t very good at it.

We know exactly what to do with them.

We can put miners out of their misery.

It’s the right thing to do.

I’m sure you understand.

GREAT VALUE

James was a good man, but he didn’t know the value of a mining permit.

Sales is all about integrity.

Come to the cold dark vacuum of outer space, and I’ll sell you a whole lot of nothing.

Some people just want to stamp their bio with my name.

Everybody loves a winner.

So step right up!

I can address all your concerns.

Why buy just one, when you can buy two?

Trust me, you aren’t the only one.

Permit pride!

Mining permits are a sensible option for your personal Safety.

No matter your income, we have a payment plan that fits your budget.

I’m here to help!

Even if you are broke, we can work out a suitable trade.

It’s a real pleasure doing business in New Eden.

Stay in touch!

Aiko Always Aiko Always

Highsec is in good hands.

Miners can cry all they want.

I know exactly what they need.

Someone once said I’m the most spiteful woman ever.

The only thing that matters is this…

…a lot of miners are going to die.

I know you want my affection.

However, if you break the laws of Halaima…

…bad things will happen.

You won’t even understand how.

Bystanders will stare in awe, discussing your sad fate.

You will not be pleased.

So send me more isk.

Thanks!

Doing great!

Why would I gank a barge?

Red Monke found out why.

His ORE gadgets were gone, and he wasn’t pleased.

I didn’t want to spacebully him, but he reached out, desperate for assistance.

He briefly tried some space lawyer tactics.

However, the law is self-explanatory.

He was ready to accept me, as his personal Heroin.

I love to help newbros.

It was a pleasure doing business with him.

I am looking forward to our future relationship.

See ya later!

Still going

I’m a Princess!

My word is my bond.

As the Heroin of Highsec, I am here for the miners.

We work together, like a team.

Sometimes, things do not go as planned.

Of course, we cannot escape our past.

We must continue.

We must look toward the future.

Someday, we will look back and remember.

We were the CODE. all along.

Which means…

… we are the law.

So you should probably think about why this happened.

You need more Safety.

The next generation needs Safety.

Until next time…

…stay SAFE!

BRUH

Merbles had a strange fit.

Something was missing.

In fact, his entire ship vanished.

It sure sucks to be punished.

Miners just hate bureaucratic redtape.

However, why would civilians need battleships?

He began to hurl c-words at me.

After viewing my OnlyFans, he understood I’m a real Princess.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t willing to follow the rules.

He insisted that every civilian deserves a battleship.

Does the Code regulate battleships?

Well, I guess that settles the matter.