Safety is Dead

Carebears have a desperate dream.

James 315 is dead, and salty at me (or so they hope).

Miners are kinda dumb.

I’ll try to explain…

Here is an example.

This old meme charts the tragic lifecycle of a typical PvP player. At first, they gleefully trumpet their existence, then they count isk, and finally they notice all the “good” targets are gone – “game is dead, bro.” It’s true, any nerd can buy killmails, but many end their lives with the nagging sensation that they wasted years. For what? The fate of top tier players is actually kind of grim. They openly question whether it was worth the time, and then they are gone forever, forgotten by the disinterested sands of time. They literally regret succumbing to what can only be considered an autistic obsessive compulsion. #sad2see!

In contrast, things are going well for us.

As seen in many preceding posts on this fine blog, we’ve done something different with the mighty CODE. Safety. alliance. As gankbears, nullbears, lowbears, and wormbears grow increasingly bitter and despondent, the Safety alliance is evolving each and every day. The old regime collapsed precisely because it followed the doomed path of the PvP pleb, but my friends chart a different course.

Unlike our wannabe rivals, we take to heart the prophetic words of James 315. Mere ganking is no better than mining, as ganking alone cannot build a true civilization. Killboard grinding is no different than mindless farming. Ganking for isk is a pathetic and contemptible act, not unlike collecting Pokemon cards. In the end, nobody actually cares bro. All that isk won’t buy you a single friend. People will only care about me, and that is as it should always be, just as James intended.

That’s right.

Facts!

Only true faith can guide us, and what is better than knowing that the permanent destruction of our enemies (whom I erased from history) has opened doorways beyond imagination. For example, what might transpire if all the good targets fled wormholes? What might transpire, if CCP encouraged this by buffing Highsec PvE? In such a world, as we now find ourselves in, one thing is becoming clear.

Highsec miners are no longer poor.

A steady stream of rental income is flowing into our coffers – specifically, my personal wallets. Tune in tomorrow, for another example which once again verifies and substantiates my rightful claim to be the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online. I’ll give you a subtle hint, it’s going to involve me selling yet another mining permit.

Isn’t that the truth?

How to Sell a Mining Permit, #115625

Step 1: Meet a Miner

Step 2: Write a Citation (or Five)

Step 3: Penalties

Aiko Danuja > we can do 150 for all 5 of your alts
QuantumFx > 150 millions?
Aiko Danuja > correct

I like to be agreeable.

QuantumFx > For the 5 characters?
Aiko Danuja > that’s right
QuantumFx > And they let me mine for a whole year?
Aiko Danuja > that’s correct
QuantumFx > Okay, let’s be clear. I have 5 characters. Manolo Acosta Mr Pitufo Don Sheldon Guillermo Romero and me
Aiko Danuja > right
QuantumFx > And what guarantees do they give me?
Aiko Danuja > If your ship is wrongly destroyed, it will be replaced at the nearest trade hub.
QuantumFx > Perfect! Who do I send them to?
Aiko Danuja > Aiko Danuja
QuantumFx > ok i send to my principal character Manulo

His main miner tried to scam me!

Cool blackface bro.

Step 4: Euthanasia

It’s the law.

I love to negotiate.

It was time for miner math.

Everything makes perfect sense.

Miners deserve a square deal.

He can pay the rest later.

What do you think?

That’s right.

I’m doing swell.

Peace.

ACHTUNG SAFETI!

It’s a dangerous galaxy.

Are you paying attention?

Miners need to stay alert in the Ganges.

Fortunately, antigankers are here to help.

Get out, gogogo!

In EvE Online, cuicide is such a popular sport.

Fortunately, everybody gets fair warning.

Unfortunately, AFK miners can’t read a warning.

When I’m around, they really should dock.

My mere existence is a clear warning.

However, miners are kinda dumb.

F.L.Y.S.A.F.E.

Three Timing Felix

In EvE Online, love is risky.

Recently, Felix got in trouble.

Apparently, he made his new girl CEO.

SheHe took everything!

What a dunce.

I hope they are happy together.

Meanwhile, I feel betrayed.

Felix has been lying to me for a long time.

He never sent those flowers.

Instead, he sent them to my friend.

He even called herhim a princess!

Wtf?

Felix also went after my alts.

You know what kind of man does that?

He went through my whole channel.

Felix only wanted one thing from me.

He acted like he would buy me a nice meal.

What girl doesn’t love grilled Matari?

However, men always want something else.

Goodbye Felix.

To be continued…

Some dogs just can’t stay away.


Highsec Miner Grab Bag #254

On Loop: Shoot the Miner

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #253

Occasionally, we read old mail.

The people stay in touch.

I don’t mind.

Many write from beyond the grave.

They haunt my friends.

The dead love to rattle their chains.

They often feel wronged.

Don’t mess with a gangster mommy.

Miners also mail my alts!

I should write that one back…

I’ve got unread mail to and from people that no longer exist.

I have correspondence with permabanned has-beens.

Those losers sure have a lot to cry about.

Oh well!

Every miner has something to say.

Some miners just spam.

Others beg for mercy.

I am so glad/sorry that happened to your Viper?

Don’t invade Highsec!

In EvE Online, trash talk has consequences.

F.L.Y.S.A.F.E.

Krig’s Korner, Episode 23

Krig’s Korner, Episode 22

When you pull over a miner…

…you never know what to expect.

Sometimes they admit it.

Then they keep talking.

Cool story bro.

Let’s meet another.

Hold on…

Like scribble at the bus stop?

We’ll get back to that…

What kind of bus stop?

Well, what about the rest of the story?

What happened next?

Super Perforator lost a dear friend that day.

Another happy ending.

Yria is Syria, Part 4

Yria is Syria, Part 1

Some miners don’t like Aiko.

Some miners do!

Suddenly, Aiko’s girlfriend intervened.

She’s a high moon lord.

Some miners didn’t like Georgia either.

They sure owe a lot of money.

A Machariel class warship was sent to enforce the law.

Those miners were escorted home.

Before long, the Yrian belts were empty.

Where were all the miners?

It was time to negotiate.

To be continued…

Streambumping

Sargon has been bumping.

This is a time honored tradition.

It’s definitely allowed.

Miners love Squid Games Online.

This miner lasted one minute.

“Sniper’s back… he doesn’t have the balls to shoot.”

Darth Miner cried about (technically) not getting sniped.

“Here the thing is, right… we can actually sue him, even though he lives in another country, I can sue him for, uh, what is that, uh, cyberbullying? The governments will make CCP ban his ass or pay me… stream sniping cocksucker. Seriously, CCP wants me to play their game, then they are gonna do what the fuck I tell them. End of fucking story. Cyberbullying and harassment is against the rules. I have thirty fucking accounts, that I PAY FOR. I think my mining goes a little further than one dude that’s acting like an ass… Oh! On top of that, I’m a content creator and I stream EvE. So now I’m gonna play a different game for a few days until he forgets about me. It’s 8:00 in the morning in Iceland, the office has just opened, I don’t expect a response for about four hours. What’s he do? Just bump me off whatever I’m doing? All he’s doing is making me BORED. I’ve got over $15’000 worth of games, I can play anything I want. The game has so much to offer but one guy fucks it all up. Let him actually come fuck with me when I’m doing something in a combat ship. These Safety. CODE. all these motherfuckers they come and fuck with us miners, when we’re mining, they would shit a fucking brick if I undocked my Paladin he woulda run like a little bitch.”

“My point is, streamsnipers and such, they wanna play fuck fuck games… but the moment, somebody stands up to them… [Suddenly, he sees someone] Let me guess, another one of the fucking goonies… Am I showing anywhere on my shit? Does it show where the fuck I’m at? I’m not showing where I’m at. They can all fuck off for all I’m concerned. All I’m doing is getting ad revenue, all they are doing is making me money.”

That’s right.

=FULL DISCLOSURE=

huntress of pods has never killed a pod.

She only killed her own main.

o7