Breaking NEWS

Listening to: Satyagraha

It finally happened.

Calm down miner is official.

Like it or not, but I’ve made EvE history.

Hrothbear was the first of many. A funny story about that… He was so desperate to pad his killboard, vowing to NOT SPEAK to anyone who linked the killmail on Zkill. Naturally, Sargon did it about a minute later, leading Saltgar to cry, running away from a chorus of “Calm down miner.” Now, years later, he can relive the experience!

Meanwhile, darkolus has begun his own descent into madness.

Ganked by Nazes, he vowed revenge.

darkolus > No, I’m just going to ruin the channel
Aiko Danuja > doubt
John Steelmerc > the only things miners ruin are our precious natural veldspar belts
Aaaarrgg > darkolus please dont mess up the channel with your miner salt, thats not our thing
Aiko Danuja > Kill: Phat Phil (Griffin)
Aiko Danuja > Kill: rajehem (Obelisk)
darkolus > you’re just ruining this game…
Dave Gates > darkolus ur face is ruining this channel now take a hike already. they’re creating content. if you don’t like it then leave like a sour puss & GTFO
darkolus > No… i won’t… my face gonna keep ruinning this channel…

He is a dark ugly little man…

With broken sentence fragments, he sought revenge.

He even invented a slogan…

…and a business plan!

My channel was ruined by bad grammar and incoherent phrases.

He griefed on me hard.

…but why was he griefing me?

What a crazy miner!


Merry Gankmas!


I logged in, and was immediately ambushed…

It was the ghost of spring past.

Kotojo doubled my Christmas cheer.

Another happy miner.


That’s right.


Miners never understand the Gankmas spirit.

Oh well.


Don’t forget to claim your FREE quarter-penny unfit frigate!


Mr Potato Strikes Back

The Von MARK family boasts a starch legacy.

Unfortunately, one of them is a convicted ore thief.

He is a silly potato.

The more on propositioned us.


Like all miners, he was a dump of Germany.

Before long, Unterplebkartoffel was frothing at the mouth.

He’s also a Nazi (which is illegal in his country).

Don tu re b uh minor.

Suddenly, the irl Nazi undocked in a ship which could shoot back!

Total Loss: $0.01 

However, he forgot to shoot.

In the end, Von MARK was just another spacebully.