Category: Agents

Hole v Hole

Nice greetings are on order, friend…

…and now our feature presentation.

*****

Wormholer Jeff encountered Wormholer Akrich, in Highsec.

Jeff naturally began collecting rent.

Akrich made a partial payment, but things went sideways.

Jeff faced a perplexing dilemma.

What to do?

Meanwhile, the miner began throwing n-bombs.

Really?

Surprisingly (not really), Akrich isn’t a new player.

Akrich blamed his son.

All Jeff wanted was a killmail.

He sent Akrich one final warning.

Once again, Akrich blamed his son.

The end.

Sicherung Deaktiviert

Trigger Warning

Hallo!

Commander ZVON, in an EvE Online space adventure.

Where did ZVON’s battleship go?

Where do you think the ship is?
Scroll down to find out…
No peeking!
Do you think you know?
Are you ready?
Did you guess correctly?

In EvE Online, the magic is real.

ZVON begged for his lastest battleship…

All monay loost.

It was a cruel dark galaxy

ZVON contacted his only friend.

ZVON did not feel well.

Hard times in outer space.

Fortunately, mercy comes to those who beg.

ZVON needed a ship.

A fair price.

Krig sent the wrong ship!

What a day.

Mad Maddi

Maddi was not off to a good start.

It was depressing.

However, this wasn’t the end…

Maddi Rush > im gonna go slit my wrists again
Maddi Rush > come kill me in real life please
Maddi Rush > i dont have the courage
Maddi Rush > i need help just kill me in real life
Apo Bong > Please don’t talk like that, it’s not funny
Maddi Rush > man this isnt a joke

It went on and on…

Maddi Rush > omg im new i was literally going to sell all of that bc im trying to learn i cant even start a new char bc the start missions r already done fk me
Apo Bong > Your story the last time was a bit different
Maddi Rush > [REDACTED] ave toronto ont canada plz kill me
Maddi Rush > plz some here actually come kill me
Maddi Rush > i gave my real address
Maddi Rush > google it its real plz come
Sargon Of Amerish > i live in isanamo
Maddi Rush > ill pay for ur plane ticket
Maddi Rush > u can kill me quick and do whatever with my body ik ppl r sickos with women
Maddi Rush > is anyone actually on the way ive unlocked my door come on in

It’s a bit much, don’t you think?

Maddi Rush > why cant i just help ppl
Maddi Rush > thats actually what i do
Maddi Rush > i help new ppl
Maddi Rush > u are why ppl like me quit and then new ppl dont want to play bc no one helps them
Maddi Rush > like i dont want tot help myself in real life i just want to die and i cant figure out a way im such a coward
Maddi Rush > i havent gone to the store in weeks…. im hoping i die of starvation in my sleep but then i can barely move and im just stuck infront of computer
Maddi Rush > apo is the reason maddi rush killled herself in game and it will be glorious way to die… and i will take these pills and drift off watching the space

Ok, that’s enough of that…

Maddi Rush > im going to kill myself now
Maddi Rush > watch it on the news on CP24 toronto
Maddi Rush > so what u guys want to talk about these last moments
Maddi Rush > my mom drugged me with meds to get blood tested that sell actually then sold the meds to the nieghbours for months
Maddi Rush > i was gonna do a stratios build and finally be apart of the gang
Maddi Rush > goodbye

Fortunately, Maddi finally got that dream Stratios…

…followed by a dreamy Vindi…

I sure hope Maddi is feeling better…

EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Amarr
Roan Pico > Courier Kor-Azor – Amarr route: Amarr >> Neesher (927 m³) Nare >> Neesher (150000 m³) Neesher >> Amarr (2245 m³)
Neijas > You seem to have very special needs Maddi Rush
Maddi Rush > say that to me directly and watch what happens
Neijas > How do I say it to you more directly?
Neijas > Seems like you’re having some intellectual challenges
Maddi Rush > seem like u are the one projecting something there
Maddi Rush > keyboard warrior over here lol
NoLSolid > Kill: Maddi Rush (Stratios)
Maddi Rush > yea i was afk
Contracting Alt13 > Jita >> Amarr (1034 m³)
Contracting Alt13 > Maddi Rush haul this and shut up
Jno Aubrey > Alternatively, you could just biomass yourself
Maddi Rush > u just told me to kill myself enjoy that ban
Neijas > Oh no! Please take everything personal after you gaslight all of Amarr
TorJansleep > HyperNet offer: Hel Cheapest HyperNet offer: Hel 6.88b HyperNet offer: Wyvern 137m */512

Um…

Krig’s Korner, Episode V

Krig’s Korner, Episode IV

Aiko’s ponytail is so long and strong, I use it to climb the ivory tower. At the top I sit and wonder, why is she so dumb?

Oh, well, hello there. Why, it’s me Krig Povelli, star of Krig’s Korner, where we celebrate the adventures of me, Krig Povelli.

On this Krig Day, I tell a tale of Rentlords.

Wow, that’s a neat logo! Nine stars, woah.

The Rentlords had a busy week.

My friend Lucy recently joined rentercorp Skepy.

This corp looks legit – amirite?

PLOT TWIST: Lucy is an anagram for I’m Krig Povelli!

I wanted to play with my new friends.

We are skeepy!

Pharmabro Martin told me wasup.

He even recommended me for a medal!

Woah, Hulks? Those must be tough guys!

Aiko, did you see the Hulks? Aiko? Aiko? Stop eating ice cream.

It’s pretty cool being in a real nullsec corp.

Why did they have friendly fire on?

Afterward, I got a fan mail!

Cheers!

Mister McGibblets Cries Again

Mister McGibblets is known for hysterics.

What would happen if he lost an Orca?

Let’s find out!

This is the kind of person antigankers support.

Hawk was bullied by the toxic carebear.

Hawk tried to care.

However, the miner would not stop.

McGibblets claimed bankruptcy.

He shared a pitiful tale of woe.

Originally, he quit EvE Online.

After having a kid, and quitting his job, he came back.

Hawk ruined everything!

McGibblets continued the unsolicited manifesto.

He chose EvE over his own family.

However, does the family even exist?

With no response from Hawk, McGibblets invented a reply.

McGibblets then responded to ‘Hawk’.

It was a stirring monologue.

PvP, in a video game, is terrible to behold.

I didn’t want to get involved.

However, he changed my mind…

To be continued…

Tapestry of Tears, RELOADED

The legacy of James 315 lives on.

In times of change, the fit will adapt.

Reload the Tapestry of Tears and see for yourself!

Don’t forget the sequels.

Legacy of Lahnius

The Rising Star

Don’t forget the prequels.

Sins of a Solar Spymaster

Crazy Like a Foxbolt

The Search for Anti-Ganking

That’s right.

That’s right!

***BONUS CONTENT***

Cheers!