Category: Agents

Irbukad’s Revenge

Irbukad spotted his arch-nemesis…

Oh look, there he is!

Hahah, Irbukad wanted to grief that miner.

So Irbu contracted a bounty hunter…

How to be certain of success?

As always, payment upfront.

Hehehe, Irbukad had a funny thought…

Ok, let’s play EvE Online!

Contract accepted.

Cheers!

PLOT TWIST: Irbukad was just an alt.

In fact, his main controls two alts.

Another hit, on the same target.

Haha, miners never learn.

Ozran Heti Jaynara > sargon already took 750 from me
Aiko Danuja > i am not sargon
Ozran Heti Jaynara > isk after completetion
Aiko Danuja > Payment due in advance.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > not agian cant fool me twice

Challenge accepted!


Aiko Danuja > As I said
Aiko Danuja > Payment due in advance.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > well aparently when payed in advance things dont get completed
Aiko Danuja > This is not a debate. If you want me to do something, you need to pay. Complaining about someone else doesn’t convince me of anything.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > ok well dont think we are going to get an agreement the penuts are a matter of principle
Aiko Danuja > On principle, I do not work for free.

We reached an impasse.

Ozran Heti Jaynara > he will rage you will love it and you will be praised and payed
Aiko Danuja > I’ve heard that before.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > u know u want to
Aiko Danuja > I don’t know that.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > yes you do i gave 750 to sargon as a taste
Aiko Danuja > I am not Sargon.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > i tottally believe you

Fortunately, Ozran found faith.

Ozran Heti Jaynara > he just was in a troll mood he blocked and will not complete contract
Aiko Danuja > That’s your problem. I am not doing it for free.
Aiko Danuja > Why would I believe you?
Ozran Heti Jaynara > because i love you
Ozran Heti Jaynara > of coarse 🙂
Aiko Danuja > If you love me so much, you’ll pay.

Checkmate!

Ozran Heti Jaynara > i can wait but will this be done today i like to watch 🙂
Ozran Heti Jaynara > hes still out mineing on moon
Ozran Heti Jaynara > just send mail when complete
Ozran Heti Jaynara > o/












Neurotica 1

What happened to Erotica 1?

Banned forever, he traveled to Facebook.

I would never dox anyone, but to be fair, Mr. Justin has repeatedly and intentionally doxxed himself. At one point, he wrote (and I quote), “My name is Justin [Redacted]. My home address is [Redacted]. My phone number is [Redacted]. I am Erotica 1. You can’t dox me, because I’ve already doxxed myself.” Subsequently, he had a lot to say.

In particular, he used his celebrity status as advertising for his mystery project, a lawfully regulated business registered with his local state government. Of course, he also ran for President of these United States, and King of Jamaica. Consequently, Erotica is a public figure. This is a choice he made, and one which we must accept.

A curious choice, to be sure.

Of course, his business still needs something…

…perhaps, a robust legal team?

A minimal financial investment is also expected.

Seems legit.

Oh, he also made a blog…

In fact, multiple blogs…

To be continued…

Crazy Cat, Part 2

Back by popular demand, Crazy Cat!

What a miner…

Cat just wanted an appologuy.

Protip: There is a proper size for screenshots.

Rants can be endless.

However, screenshots should be less than 400 pixels in width.

Here’s a nifty chart.

Meanwhile, Catalina denied PvPv.

Everybody just wanted Cat to calm down.

Why was Cat ganked?

Hm, now there’s a thought…

Will she ever learn to enjoy EvE Online?

Finally, the court reached a verdict.

Cat is guilty as charged.

The end.

I said, the end.

I said… THE END.

THE END.

However, Cat had more to say.

Hole v Hole

Nice greetings are on order, friend…

…and now our feature presentation.

*****

Wormholer Jeff encountered Wormholer Akrich, in Highsec.

Jeff naturally began collecting rent.

Akrich made a partial payment, but things went sideways.

Jeff faced a perplexing dilemma.

What to do?

Meanwhile, the miner began throwing n-bombs.

Really?

Surprisingly (not really), Akrich isn’t a new player.

Akrich blamed his son.

All Jeff wanted was a killmail.

He sent Akrich one final warning.

Once again, Akrich blamed his son.

The end.

Sicherung Deaktiviert

Trigger Warning

Hallo!

Commander ZVON, in an EvE Online space adventure.

Where did ZVON’s battleship go?

Where do you think the ship is?
Scroll down to find out…
No peeking!
Do you think you know?
Are you ready?
Did you guess correctly?

In EvE Online, the magic is real.

ZVON begged for his lastest battleship…

All monay loost.

It was a cruel dark galaxy

ZVON contacted his only friend.

ZVON did not feel well.

Hard times in outer space.

Fortunately, mercy comes to those who beg.

ZVON needed a ship.

A fair price.

Krig sent the wrong ship!

What a day.

Mad Maddi

Maddi was not off to a good start.

It was depressing.

However, this wasn’t the end…

Maddi Rush > im gonna go slit my wrists again
Maddi Rush > come kill me in real life please
Maddi Rush > i dont have the courage
Maddi Rush > i need help just kill me in real life
Apo Bong > Please don’t talk like that, it’s not funny
Maddi Rush > man this isnt a joke

It went on and on…

Maddi Rush > omg im new i was literally going to sell all of that bc im trying to learn i cant even start a new char bc the start missions r already done fk me
Apo Bong > Your story the last time was a bit different
Maddi Rush > [REDACTED] ave toronto ont canada plz kill me
Maddi Rush > plz some here actually come kill me
Maddi Rush > i gave my real address
Maddi Rush > google it its real plz come
Sargon Of Amerish > i live in isanamo
Maddi Rush > ill pay for ur plane ticket
Maddi Rush > u can kill me quick and do whatever with my body ik ppl r sickos with women
Maddi Rush > is anyone actually on the way ive unlocked my door come on in

It’s a bit much, don’t you think?

Maddi Rush > why cant i just help ppl
Maddi Rush > thats actually what i do
Maddi Rush > i help new ppl
Maddi Rush > u are why ppl like me quit and then new ppl dont want to play bc no one helps them
Maddi Rush > like i dont want tot help myself in real life i just want to die and i cant figure out a way im such a coward
Maddi Rush > i havent gone to the store in weeks…. im hoping i die of starvation in my sleep but then i can barely move and im just stuck infront of computer
Maddi Rush > apo is the reason maddi rush killled herself in game and it will be glorious way to die… and i will take these pills and drift off watching the space

Ok, that’s enough of that…

Maddi Rush > im going to kill myself now
Maddi Rush > watch it on the news on CP24 toronto
Maddi Rush > so what u guys want to talk about these last moments
Maddi Rush > my mom drugged me with meds to get blood tested that sell actually then sold the meds to the nieghbours for months
Maddi Rush > i was gonna do a stratios build and finally be apart of the gang
Maddi Rush > goodbye

Fortunately, Maddi finally got that dream Stratios…

…followed by a dreamy Vindi…

I sure hope Maddi is feeling better…

EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Amarr
Roan Pico > Courier Kor-Azor – Amarr route: Amarr >> Neesher (927 m³) Nare >> Neesher (150000 m³) Neesher >> Amarr (2245 m³)
Neijas > You seem to have very special needs Maddi Rush
Maddi Rush > say that to me directly and watch what happens
Neijas > How do I say it to you more directly?
Neijas > Seems like you’re having some intellectual challenges
Maddi Rush > seem like u are the one projecting something there
Maddi Rush > keyboard warrior over here lol
NoLSolid > Kill: Maddi Rush (Stratios)
Maddi Rush > yea i was afk
Contracting Alt13 > Jita >> Amarr (1034 m³)
Contracting Alt13 > Maddi Rush haul this and shut up
Jno Aubrey > Alternatively, you could just biomass yourself
Maddi Rush > u just told me to kill myself enjoy that ban
Neijas > Oh no! Please take everything personal after you gaslight all of Amarr
TorJansleep > HyperNet offer: Hel Cheapest HyperNet offer: Hel 6.88b HyperNet offer: Wyvern 137m */512

Um…