Going South

Wormhole aficionado Stony wrote our editors.

There’s a video of Andres M Afanador?

There’s a video of him mining??

OmG! That’s him – THAT’S THE SAME GUY!



I want to be his friend, but he keeps mining.

That’s not ganking – that’s turbo crabbing!

A full decade of shameful mining.

Why Andres, why?

Years apart, me and Chance had the exact same question.

He love mined on us both.

Andres, real love doesn’t require mining.

Andres, please stop…

He loves us, but he is not loyal to us.

I hope he calms down.

That’s actually embarrassing!

On behalf all your friends, Andres, just stat some ramson.

Why Mine?

A lot of One people felt I was hard on Andres.

Andres enjoys a relaxing mine.

That sounds like fun, right?

Why else would anyone mine?

Amazing content, in real-life and in EvE Online.

Andres, you have to choose, me or the ice.

It’s an addiction.

There’s only one solution.

Friends don’t let friends mine.

There’s much better content.

That’s why they call me Aiko.

It’s like a reverse Awox.

Yo, she cried less than Andres!

Internal Affairs Debrief – Bonus Extra Room 17T

I was cleared of all charges.

Mining Andres

Listening to: Minimal Techno Classic 3

That’s a lie.

Andres M Afanador is a Highsec miner.

Like most miners, he just doesn’t get it.

Andres, we are not into mining.

Recently, Andres began mining for BLACKFLAG.

Apparently, they’ve fallen on hard times.

Andres, you need a mining permit!

So then the ganks began…

A gentle reminder to stop mining.

He actually thought BLACKFLAG would protect him?

Breaking News: Andres M Afanador caught mining in Highsec.

Our leadership has a consensus.

We all wanted a solution, including Tweeps (aka James 315).

Meanwhile, Andres was (not) salty.

Andres isn’t in my alliance, and he is mining. Is that loyalty?

Andres, I find your loyalty insufficient.

The diplomatic situation was deteriorating.

Fortunately, my friends are not stupid.

Andres the antiganker failed again.

Nobody likes an antiganker.

This is how things work in Highsec.

Stop mining.

Pay your taxes.

Obey the CODE. Safety agents.

Seek help.

Never go full miner.

Those minerals I mine are freeREEE!

Andres had a little too much ice.

I hope he calms down.

That might be difficult.

Bee well!

Chatting with Bots


Let’s review:

  • Mine somewhere else (there are 10,000 systems).
  • Don’t go AFK (very effective, but hard to master).
  • Fit your ship (asteroid scanner doesn’t count).
  • Try to make friends (antisocial wierdos are losers).
  • Don’t be a poor (or a whale).
  • Get good (good luck).


  • Uninstall (recommended best practice).

Let’s see what else the bot has to say.

Indeed, mining permits are very important.

Ah, but what if we use “calm down miner” offensively?

I see, that’s good stuff.

Haha, you guys.

Ok, that’s not funny…

That’s right.

That’s right!

Highsec Rap Battle

Listening to: Booty Bomb

We’ve been keeping it real up in here, up in here.

Lightbulb was crying all to himself in local.

So we invited him to the RAP BATTLE.

He got on stage to introduce himself.

His rap started slow…

…gradually he began to vibe…

…then he dropped the bomb!


Can I get a round #2 up in here?

Awwwwww yeeeeh… (only thing I eat are… ohhhhhhh)

What a guy.


He was a real griefer.

Amazing stuff.



I’m glad he had fun.

*cue house lights*


I just needed my isk back!

I’m just glad I could help.

Stay positive!

Breaking NEWS

Listening to: Satyagraha

It finally happened.

Calm down miner is official.

Like it or not, but I’ve made EvE history.

Hrothbear was the first of many. A funny story about that… He was so desperate to pad his killboard, vowing to NOT SPEAK to anyone who linked the killmail on Zkill. Naturally, Sargon did it about a minute later, leading Saltgar to cry, running away from a chorus of “Calm down miner.” Now, years later, he can relive the experience!

Meanwhile, darkolus has begun his own descent into madness.

Ganked by Nazes, he vowed revenge.

darkolus > No, I’m just going to ruin the channel
Aiko Danuja > doubt
John Steelmerc > the only things miners ruin are our precious natural veldspar belts
Aaaarrgg > darkolus please dont mess up the channel with your miner salt, thats not our thing
Aiko Danuja > Kill: Phat Phil (Griffin)
Aiko Danuja > Kill: rajehem (Obelisk)
darkolus > you’re just ruining this game…
Dave Gates > darkolus ur face is ruining this channel now take a hike already. they’re creating content. if you don’t like it then leave like a sour puss & GTFO
darkolus > No… i won’t… my face gonna keep ruinning this channel…

He is a dark ugly little man…

With broken sentence fragments, he sought revenge.

He even invented a slogan…

…and a business plan!

My channel was ruined by bad grammar and incoherent phrases.

He griefed on me hard.

…but why was he griefing me?

What a crazy miner!