Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Old News: Globby and loyalanon got permabanned (again)
#SAD
#GETFUCKED
Oh well…
I guess we’ll never know what happened.
Maybe I had something to do with it?
I kinda don’t like racist losers.
I don’t want to be associated with them.
They just don’t get it.
They are, well…
Kinda mental!
Fortunately, I’ve got good news.
Where we’re going, we won’t need miners (or racists).
We can just kill them all.
Listening to: Princess We Obey
I’ve been busy.
Previously, antiganker Valryon defected.
Antiganking the gankbears has never been so lucrative!
Globby just inspired me.
That’s right.
Cry harder, bitch.
Can’t think of a more deserving person.
Famous last words…
Nazi around and find out.
#MENTAL
Globby was getting S.A.L.T.Y.
I love it!
I do, for real.
I literally wrote a book on Sun Tzu.
Come and take it, bro.
They had a bad plan, as we anticipated.
Sun Tzu called this, “Tempting the Bull”.
#BAITEDONAFREE
Globby only thought about isk.
We thought about moon cycles.
We gladly gave them enough to hang themselves.
Our plan worked, as always.
We gave them a second third fourth fifth? chance.
We do eventually respond to aggression.
Then they fucked up (again).
So they were punished.
We fucked them up.
Thanks for the year of drama, bro.
In EvE Online, politics are wars by other means.
The freighter gankers are were L.O.S.E.R.S.
Like, for real.
This is funny.
Ho ho ho.
I don’t need those people in my alliance.
I gave Globby one final chance.
Consider yourself warned, bro.
Bro, I will fuck you up.
What a bitch.
Mistakes were made (again and again).
It was a bad strategy.
I’ve got new friends now.
Globby actually gave me the idea.
The antigankers love this idea.
Now that’s high praise indeed.
Do I need racists, anti-Semites, and neo-Nazis in my alliance?
Some people just don’t have the right character.
You’ve gotta be cool.
Miners can’t stay calm.
Bro, try breathing exercises.
Meanwhile, Valryon has completed his homage to me.
Your enemies are now my friends.
We did it!
Let’s hear what antigankers say about me.
Even my sworn enemies, acknowledge I’m the best.
My powers are incredible.
There’s no shame in accepting the Mule of Highsec.
Let’s recap.
I guess things are going well (for me).
How are things going for you?
o7
To be continued…
THE GANKBEARS, aggrieved at having no established Executor, sent ambassadors to James 315 entreating for a King. Perceiving their aspirations, he cast down the CODE. The bears were terrified at the splash occasioned by its fall and hid themselves in the depths of Uedama. But as soon as they realized that the huge treatise was motionless, they swam again to the top of the water, dismissed their fears, climbed up, and began squatting on it in contempt. After some time they began to think themselves ill-treated in the appointment of so inert a Ruler, and sent a second deputation to James praying that he would set over them another sovereign. He then gave them Super Perforator. When the bears discovered his simple nature, they sent yet a third time, begging James to choose another. James, most displeased with all of them, unleashed a Princess who preyed upon the bears till there were none left.
Not all miners are entirely stupid.
They can figure it out.
Even the dumbest can figure it out.
I’m the best.
Unfortunately, miners are not.
There’s no hope for them.
They are AFK whinebabies.
It’s hard to take them seriously.
They ask too much.
Any other questions?
Your secret code is 613 multiplied by ???
Send your best guess, with 1 billion isk.
o7
Listening to: Villains in the Air
Watch out…
EvE Online has a lot of evildoers.
Fortunately, Trey Bakker filed a police report.
So Tip engaged the target.
This was a Golem class maraudership!
Wait a minute…
Is Trey Bakker the bad guy?
He was trying to bribe an agent.
Meanwhile, a clock was ticking.
Suddenly, Krig did a magic trick.
I guess Trey ran out of time!
It was an expensive lesson.
F.L.Y.S.A.F.E.
Listening to: Day of the Jackal
Welcome back.
Yesterday, Aiko and her blue poodle made a mess.
It was the DAY OF THE JACKAL.
BOOM! Headshot.
It was a long day.
I like to stay in touch.
SDENSK knows the JACKAL OF HIGHSEC.
“This message in the local chat is seen by every player of the safe solar system I fly into. Following this message, he sees this: Victory: SDENSK (Praxis*) to back up my words. The players thank me. Amarr, Zhita are no exception. Everywhere I fly, in every solar system where there are players, this message pops up. This will continue daily until you reimburse me for my tractors and my Praxis, which were destroyed by you. Something tells me that in a couple of months, all players who play in safe solar systems will have your gang marked with a red flag. Each of you. When you appear in the locale, everyone will know that freaks have flown into the solar system. I have been doing this for the third day. The more you delay with payment, the more people will put jackals like you on their blacklists. You pay 500,000,000 (five hundred million isk).”
I tried to negotiate.
However, he wants to punish me.
That’s the last thing I want!
This is blackmail and extortion…
I just want an apology.
No deal!
Everybody must know about the jackal.
He plans to tell everyone about my targeted assassinations.
Please don’t throw me in that briar patch!
He’s a professional antiadvertiser…
Now I’m starting to cry.
In EvE Online, reputation is everything.
Weak minds are susceptible to reverse psychology witchcraft.
He has the upper hand.
The entire playerbase will hear of me.
Then he found the other Aikos.
This is just sadistic!
What a game.
He soon found support in Zhita local.
I create fun content for Highsec miners.
I am Princess Tabaqui, the High Witch of Agil.
Everybody loves me.
Meanwhile, in Zhita local.
> WATCH OUT FOR MARY GUNKINS
Everybody is talking about the jackal.
SDENSK is making big isk!
He’s winning bigly.
That’s right.
Suddenly friends.
o7 bro
Listening to: Aiko Danuja, The Musical
The clue crew knows my score.
That’s right.
I’m not hard to understand.
This train is just getting started.
Are you ready to ride?
My people are the best.
I’ve got some interesting new ideas.
Thank you friends!
Chuggachuggachoochoo!
=COMING SOON TO A TWITCH NEAR YOU=
=PAID ADVERTISEMENT=
=YOUR ADVERTISEMENT HERE FOR 1 BILLION ISK=
o7 James!
That’s right.
I forgive you.
Listening to: Princess Aiko’s Coming
The Wormhole Police Department is too kind.
Some people accept me, do you?
That’s beautiful.
I’m beautiful!
Let’s check out our Fate and Destiny.
Doing well, as always.
The Dodixie trade hub is under siege!
Miners are easily agitated.
They can mine with Safety…
Now that’s just crazy talk!
I know the cure.
Just kill them.
My ice agents enforce the law.
We remove illegals from Highsec!
No miner is too small…
You can do a miner today!
They say the same stuff to me.
I don’t have to do it alone.
Yes sir!
Now, that’s just not appropriate…
Calm down miners.
Populus Prime > and you continue to kill each other in the ass
I love to help new players.
This has its own rewards.
I try to help as many newbs as possible.
Sometimes, I assist them for years.
They need a lot of help.
They fondly remember the first time they met me.
Over time, they gain a new perspective.
Odbayar is all grown up now!
Nice gank!
Carebears have a desperate dream.
James 315 is dead, and salty at me (or so they hope).
Miners are kinda dumb.
I’ll try to explain…
Here is an example.
This old meme charts the tragic lifecycle of a typical PvP player. At first, they gleefully trumpet their existence, then they count isk, and finally they notice all the “good” targets are gone – “game is dead, bro.” It’s true, any nerd can buy killmails, but many end their lives with the nagging sensation that they wasted years. For what? The fate of top tier players is actually kind of grim. They openly question whether it was worth the time, and then they are gone forever, forgotten by the disinterested sands of time. They literally regret succumbing to what can only be considered an autistic obsessive compulsion. #sad2see!
In contrast, things are going well for us.
As seen in many preceding posts on this fine blog, we’ve done something different with the mighty CODE. Safety. alliance. As gankbears, nullbears, lowbears, and wormbears grow increasingly bitter and despondent, the Safety alliance is evolving each and every day. The old regime collapsed precisely because it followed the doomed path of the PvP pleb, but my friends chart a different course.
Unlike our wannabe rivals, we take to heart the prophetic words of James 315. Mere ganking is no better than mining, as ganking alone cannot build a true civilization. Killboard grinding is no different than mindless farming. Ganking for isk is a pathetic and contemptible act, not unlike collecting Pokemon cards. In the end, nobody actually cares bro. All that isk won’t buy you a single friend. People will only care about me, and that is as it should always be, just as James intended.
That’s right.
Facts!
Only true faith can guide us, and what is better than knowing that the permanent destruction of our enemies (whom I erased from history) has opened doorways beyond imagination. For example, what might transpire if all the good targets fled wormholes? What might transpire, if CCP encouraged this by buffing Highsec PvE? In such a world, as we now find ourselves in, one thing is becoming clear.
Highsec miners are no longer poor.
A steady stream of rental income is flowing into our coffers – specifically, my personal wallets. Tune in tomorrow, for another example which once again verifies and substantiates my rightful claim to be the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online. I’ll give you a subtle hint, it’s going to involve me selling yet another mining permit.
Isn’t that the truth?
