Category: Agents

How to Sell a Mining Permit, #115625

Step 1: Meet a Miner

Step 2: Write a Citation (or Five)

Step 3: Penalties

Aiko Danuja > we can do 150 for all 5 of your alts
QuantumFx > 150 millions?
Aiko Danuja > correct

I like to be agreeable.

QuantumFx > For the 5 characters?
Aiko Danuja > that’s right
QuantumFx > And they let me mine for a whole year?
Aiko Danuja > that’s correct
QuantumFx > Okay, let’s be clear. I have 5 characters. Manolo Acosta Mr Pitufo Don Sheldon Guillermo Romero and me
Aiko Danuja > right
QuantumFx > And what guarantees do they give me?
Aiko Danuja > If your ship is wrongly destroyed, it will be replaced at the nearest trade hub.
QuantumFx > Perfect! Who do I send them to?
Aiko Danuja > Aiko Danuja
QuantumFx > ok i send to my principal character Manulo

His main miner tried to scam me!

Cool blackface bro.

Step 4: Euthanasia

It’s the law.

I love to negotiate.

It was time for miner math.

Everything makes perfect sense.

Miners deserve a square deal.

He can pay the rest later.

What do you think?

That’s right.

I’m doing swell.

Peace.

ACHTUNG SAFETI!

It’s a dangerous galaxy.

Are you paying attention?

Miners need to stay alert in the Ganges.

Fortunately, antigankers are here to help.

Get out, gogogo!

In EvE Online, cuicide is such a popular sport.

Fortunately, everybody gets fair warning.

Unfortunately, AFK miners can’t read a warning.

When I’m around, they really should dock.

My mere existence is a clear warning.

However, miners are kinda dumb.

F.L.Y.S.A.F.E.

Three Timing Felix

In EvE Online, love is risky.

Recently, Felix got in trouble.

Apparently, he made his new girl CEO.

SheHe took everything!

What a dunce.

I hope they are happy together.

Meanwhile, I feel betrayed.

Felix has been lying to me for a long time.

He never sent those flowers.

Instead, he sent them to my friend.

He even called herhim a princess!

Wtf?

Felix also went after my alts.

You know what kind of man does that?

He went through my whole channel.

Felix only wanted one thing from me.

He acted like he would buy me a nice meal.

What girl doesn’t love grilled Matari?

However, men always want something else.

Goodbye Felix.

To be continued…

Some dogs just can’t stay away.


Highsec Miner Grab Bag #254

On Loop: Shoot the Miner

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #253

Occasionally, we read old mail.

The people stay in touch.

I don’t mind.

Many write from beyond the grave.

They haunt my friends.

The dead love to rattle their chains.

They often feel wronged.

Don’t mess with a gangster mommy.

Miners also mail my alts!

I should write that one back…

I’ve got unread mail to and from people that no longer exist.

I have correspondence with permabanned has-beens.

Those losers sure have a lot to cry about.

Oh well!

Every miner has something to say.

Some miners just spam.

Others beg for mercy.

I am so glad/sorry that happened to your Viper?

Don’t invade Highsec!

In EvE Online, trash talk has consequences.

F.L.Y.S.A.F.E.

Krig’s Korner, Episode 23

Krig’s Korner, Episode 22

When you pull over a miner…

…you never know what to expect.

Sometimes they admit it.

Then they keep talking.

Cool story bro.

Let’s meet another.

Hold on…

Like scribble at the bus stop?

We’ll get back to that…

What kind of bus stop?

Well, what about the rest of the story?

What happened next?

Super Perforator lost a dear friend that day.

Another happy ending.

Yria is Syria, Part 4

Yria is Syria, Part 1

Some miners don’t like Aiko.

Some miners do!

Suddenly, Aiko’s girlfriend intervened.

She’s a high moon lord.

Some miners didn’t like Georgia either.

They sure owe a lot of money.

A Machariel class warship was sent to enforce the law.

Those miners were escorted home.

Before long, the Yrian belts were empty.

Where were all the miners?

It was time to negotiate.

To be continued…

Streambumping

Sargon has been bumping.

This is a time honored tradition.

It’s definitely allowed.

Miners love Squid Games Online.

This miner lasted one minute.

“Sniper’s back… he doesn’t have the balls to shoot.”

Darth Miner cried about (technically) not getting sniped.

“Here the thing is, right… we can actually sue him, even though he lives in another country, I can sue him for, uh, what is that, uh, cyberbullying? The governments will make CCP ban his ass or pay me… stream sniping cocksucker. Seriously, CCP wants me to play their game, then they are gonna do what the fuck I tell them. End of fucking story. Cyberbullying and harassment is against the rules. I have thirty fucking accounts, that I PAY FOR. I think my mining goes a little further than one dude that’s acting like an ass… Oh! On top of that, I’m a content creator and I stream EvE. So now I’m gonna play a different game for a few days until he forgets about me. It’s 8:00 in the morning in Iceland, the office has just opened, I don’t expect a response for about four hours. What’s he do? Just bump me off whatever I’m doing? All he’s doing is making me BORED. I’ve got over $15’000 worth of games, I can play anything I want. The game has so much to offer but one guy fucks it all up. Let him actually come fuck with me when I’m doing something in a combat ship. These Safety. CODE. all these motherfuckers they come and fuck with us miners, when we’re mining, they would shit a fucking brick if I undocked my Paladin he woulda run like a little bitch.”

“My point is, streamsnipers and such, they wanna play fuck fuck games… but the moment, somebody stands up to them… [Suddenly, he sees someone] Let me guess, another one of the fucking goonies… Am I showing anywhere on my shit? Does it show where the fuck I’m at? I’m not showing where I’m at. They can all fuck off for all I’m concerned. All I’m doing is getting ad revenue, all they are doing is making me money.”

That’s right.

=FULL DISCLOSURE=

huntress of pods has never killed a pod.

She only killed her own main.

o7

Saint JB Hitmarker

This is a paid advertisement.
Publish your essay here, for 1 billion isk.

Saint Jb Hitmarker, known as great philosopher and vanguard of FRT elite force. He has been obsessed with AO and Highsec Miners since the old days.

Known as great Highsec Saviour & Ganker

He is known with great reputation and full trustworthiness to ‘Help’ the miners and new players of Highsec, by ganking them. In the name of making the game better and ‘Improve the community’

Our Saint Jb Hitmarker, regardless he wants to ‘help’ the community of EvE, he met many difficulties on his holy path. He was firstly in FRT Highsec Academy, then left and joined ‘Star Nation’ inside of CVA, then he flipped side again, back to FRT.

Of course, we can not judge a Saint’s loyalty, it is beyond our capacity to do, after all, he is a Saint Anti-Fascist hero and a big hero for trying to save Highsec by ganking everyone randomly !

Sadly,  not everyone agrees about our great Saint’s opinion. After he flipped to FRT, CVA, then FRT again, our Saint got removed and kicked and voted out by Kenshin. as a group decision.

Under our Saint’s command, he successfully wiped an Azbel of Test which was worth almost 23 Billion.

Our Saint, great hero, Jb Hitmarker, after getting voted out by his own group that he played together for more than 1 year, joined of course another corp of FRT ‘C5’ then recently, he left C5 again.

In next chapter, we updating with more interesting fact about our Saint Jb Hitmarker and his group & TEST Pets.