Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
We are having fun in EvE Online.
I just want to extirpate the galaxy.
I’m glad that I’ve made so many friends.
However, some people don’t like me.
Twitch miner Owlsec is salty about his incompetence.
He literally did this to himself.
He has vowed revenge.
I guess you can’t please everyone.
EvE is not Minecraft.
EvE is for adults.
It’s like a video game, but way more realistic.
Imagine, vampires in outer space.
If you aren’t scared, you are a fool.
Something wicked, this way comes.
Here’s a pro tip.
Something is out there, in that dark starry night.
Do you feel safe?
It’s not easy being a gankster.
Miners don’t seem to like us.
They seem positively mental.
Here’s how a sane individual would act.
That’s rational, right?
However, miners are not rational.
They are crybaby losers.
Honestly, miners are stupid, in real life.
They never learn.
Just kill them all.
Everybody wants to be my friend.
When I enter local, it’s a big deal.
Everybody knows, I’m here to help.
I kill miners, and take their money.
I’m fine with that.
It’s a pretty good racket.
I enjoy gambling in EvE Online.
Come play with me…
It’ll be fun!
I’m better than Vily.
New player Aiko, ahead of a 2007 minelord double trader!
My secret strength has always (get it?) been the CODE.
Unlike James 315, I don’t have time to give a handjob to every supporter.
I’d love to do it – but I’m busy, as a top tier elite PvP champion.
Mark my words: TEST is next.
We are going to put Vily down.
That’s right!
Here’s your daily newbro.
Why won’t CCP do anything about ganking?
Crybabies got double EHP, and they already want “one more nerf”.
Have you tried modules, whilst visiting dangerous space?
Have you tried not autopiloting, with expanded cargo?
Every miner is an autistic retard, in real life.
I hope you uninstall and quit the internet forever, in real life.
You don’t even know how stupid you are.
Veltis is fine with ganking, but wants it to be nerfed (again).
Bill wants his nullbloc to have 100% safezone AFK grinding.
Bert thinks gankers live in a basement.
He doesn’t mind ganking, but gankers need more risk.
Likewise, mlwspace thinks ganking is good, but there’s way too much.
One solution is to instablap gankers, right?
blinkfann3 wants to buff gateguns.
Here’s the issue, blink… You are an autistic retard, in real life.
Just stop playing EvE, and try Farmville.
If you can’t figure out how to avoid gankers, you are a more on.
Yes, you reetastic autards.
Miners aren’t Captain Picard.
They are more like Arnold Rimmer.
I just want to kill all the miners.
It’s my blog, and I’ll cry if I want to.
I dropped nine (9) T2 Catalysts on a Mackinaw, in a pulled 0.5.
It was buffed by two Orcas, implants, and a Loki.
I expected failure, and was not surprised.
The invulnerable miner, with his three Mackinaws, was pleased.
However, his main began to do math, while another miner sperged.
Local sentiment began shifting in my favor.
rathian‘s enthusiasm dissipated.
If everybody mines with invincible Mackinaws, the supply of ore will increase, and the price will drop. That’s bad news for any humanoid.
Ceterum, autem censeo fossoribus esse delendam.
Tonight, we went aganking in Uedama.
Honestly, CCP is responsible for EVE.
Blame the developers, not the CSM.
Brisc Rubal isn’t my best friend, but he’s a friend.
My best friend is a fucking gankster.
Tonight, Brisc was doubling in Uedama.
Not Julian > Brisc Rubal brings isk doubling right here to Uedama, send him money and he’ll send you back double!
Brisc Rubal > I’m here for all your isk doubling needs.
Aiko Danuja > WoW! I sent Brisc Rubal 10 billion isk and he sent me 20 billion isk back!
Antiganker DrysonBennington got salty.
Welcome to the Cringe Zone.
The Imperium brought words of wisdom to Highsec.
Why was the next POTUS in Uedama?
Brisc was confounded by the antiganking mentality.
What kind of loser plays EvE Online?
Brisc gets it. EvE is a spaceship shooting game.
If Brisc pays me enough, I’ll vote for him.
Apply the lessons of EvE in real-life.
Here’s your daily carebear.
The CSM is committed to doubling miner EHP.
Legal Disclaimer: The preceding statement is intended as a work of fictional satire, and bears no relationship to actual EVE Online power dynamics, real or imagined.
I don’t believe CCP wants this, but the CSM is demanding it.
Legal Disclaimer: The preceding statement is intended as a work of fictional satire, and bears no relationship to actual EVE Online power dynamics, real or imagined.
After the miner’s tantrum in Jita, they are buffing EHP and yield.
I hope miners enjoy grinding for paltry amounts of isk.
I’m actually doing really well.
I might just quit ganking altogether.
It will be mathematically impossible to sologank an exhumer.
It already requires overwhelming force, and now I need double overwhelming force?
Unfortunately, miners are salty little bitches, in real life.
I might start grieving them.
If you kill a double EHP miner, it’s gonna cry.
It’s gonna get salty.
I’m beyond annoyed with these carebears.
It’s time to try something new.
I’m gonna get twice as bad.
I’m gonna be an elite griefer.
I want to make miners cry, in real-life.
You can thank the CSM.
The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78
Previously, in Jamestown… avia naali (aka aiva naali) became the Grand Executor of the mighty Goonswarm Federation, and was determined to crush Pandemic Horde (because they made fun of him). However, the double trader Vily invaded Delve, and avia was forced to fight a war on two fronts.
avia stalled for time, ordering Brisc Rubal’s Initiative alliance to die in Fort Fountain, so elite Goonswarm diplos could find their way through the Byzantine wormhole maze and negotiate a treaty in the ruins of Fort Knocks.
avia prepared for an evacuation to Highsec, via the wormholes.
Meanwhile, he sent some advice to Brisc – don’t let the enemy win!
From time to time, Slackbot and Princess Aiko reported to their commander.
avia contemplated his strategic options.
Before long, a decision was made.
It was obviously necessary to appoint a duke/duchess for each keepstar!
Everyone in Goonswarm was ready to pod themselves.
The Imperial Navy hid in lowsec, pretending to be desprite.
It was all a trick!
avia was particularly keen to crush PanFam Joe.
Readers of MinerBumping will recall that Joe was a regular contributor to the boisterous comments, where he revealed himself to be avia’s arch-nemesis.
avia is much smarter than PanFam Joe.
The plan was working perfectly.
It was time to pay the hardworking war council.
Forward, to victory!
To be continued…