Ice Pirate

Listening to: The Ice Pirates

I play EvE Online.

It’s like Idiocracy, in outer space.

Everyone loved the tale of Tee Ka and his alts.

Now meet Ketse…

He can transfer 60-70b!

He’s a self-proclaimed goonpirate!

What a guy.

He also steals my ice.

So I helped him stop.

He was enthusiastic.

However, he forgot about his other Mackinaws.

It was a Pirate v Pirate space battle.

I guess he’s a fan?

I think he asked me on a date.

It’s a hard knock life.

I wish Ketse all the best.

However, the feeling is not mutual.

BUSTED!

Back to low…

What a crazy miner.

What a noons!

Everybody in Delve will pay.

That’s right.

I wish I was good at this game.

At least he’s not mad.

That’s right.

At least he’s still a fan…

…but ow we are no longer frriends =((

Is this salt? 🙂

Cheerzah!

=POSTSCRIPT=

End of an Era, Part 16

End of an Era, Part 1

Someone is always griefing the carebears.

So CCP put their free incursion money on a distant island.

Boo hoo hoo. Grr CCPuh-leez.

Maybe griefers would kill mom, for free?

Alas, gankers refuse to PvE on demand.

Island PvE is too much for lazy crabs.

Island mechanics are killing the game!

Why is CCP doing this?

There was a mom, but still no fleet…

Highsec carebears only want the easiest isk.

Finally, CCP spoonfed a nearby destination.

To be continued…

Let’s try ChatGPT…

Suck a D B

Listening to: My Let’s Play Mix

Red and basepilled.

Capsuleers make their own fate.

We like to help.

EvE Online is an Xtreme video game.

Ok, I’ll play, but…

Some of them went too far.

I know what to do.

Let’s kill them all.

Problem solved.

~=BONUS CONTENT=~

Sargon has released the MarkeeGankedOn cinematic experience.

Check it out boys.

Absolute Facts

It’s easy mode, with no CONCORD.

Trust me, they cry just as much.

I gank in Highsec for a reason.

Call me callous.

I’m killing your alliance, right now.

That’s reality.

Somebody said Absolute Order is a ganking alliance?

“Involved with” ganking, yes but…

That attracts the wrong kind of attention.

I never forget a bad Highsec guild.

Hey, I hotdrop in High.

I’m cool.

Garbage Down

Hey there.

We ganked a garbage truck.

Garbage can tycoon.

Billions of catalysts died…

Miners be crazy in EvE Online.

Facts…

This is the game we play…

Even garbage haulers are miners!

Be ye pirate, or be ye miner?

At least he’s not mad.

Talking about real dollars…

Oh my.

Miners deserve their fate.

I hope they calm down.

No reason to be dramatic.

Anyways…

Nobody likes a miner.

For real.

Yikesaroo

It’s crazy, right?

That’s right.

MarkeeGankedon

I guess MarkeeDragon is a streamer?

A criminal too…

He’s also hostile??

Apparently, this is his alt???

Oof. That freighter looks like some kind of fat beetle, getting swarmed by ants and slowly ripped apart.

Now, Markee claims CCP gives him preferential treatment (as they do for all streamers), and CCP nobility blesses his stream. He threw out some big namedrops to prove he is CCP approved, and I swiftly recognized one of those names. Clearly, based on this political reality, I must tread carefully, to delicately address a claim which Markee repeatedly alleged (before retracting, and then realleging, and then retracting, before realleging). He accused me of cheating!

So, here is the question of the day – was Markee streamsniped (and thereby griefed, in violation of rules which don’t forbid streamsniping, even though carebears pretend otherwise)?

The answer, believe it or not, is no.

For some reason, perhaps because he got dunked, Markee declined to preserve video evidence. Regardless, any investigation will unveil Mr Markee was indeed autopiloting directly toward me. He tried to argue that he wasn’t, based on his physical proximity to a keyboard, but I watched his stream and heard the phrase “Autopilot Engaged” followed by “Autopilot Jumping”. As Eve Online’s most professional streamsniper, my services were clearly not needed here – autopilot ensured Markee’s inevitable demise. In this particular case, the sniper rolled her eyes, rested her rifle on its tripod, and patiently waited.

Let’s see what streamer simps had to say.

Mmhmm.

As always, they tried to shame us for PvP.

They claim Weekend Kusion Aikos are afraid.

This is the most typical whining.

We’ve heard it ten thousand times before.

Cool chat.

That’s right.

Cheerzah!

Isanamo

Listening to: Shadow Hunter

Oh hi, ya, I live here.

Sort of like a place you might expect me.

This is what GPT says we do.

#1 alltime destroyer/battlecruiser/bomber ALLTIME CHAMPIONS

PewPEWpew – heavy flak from barski

Now that’s REAL PvP.

I’ll add him to the list.

2+8+3=1 Dead Orca

It’s never too late to repent.

They wonder why we gank them…

COMING SOON

In thirteen plus one day…

=THIS SUMMER=

4.91 = 4 + 9 + 1 = 13 + 1

4 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 4 = 13 + 1

We caught a war criminal, in EvE Online.

End of an Era, Part 15

End of an Era, Part 1

Was everything over forever?

One week, mom survived…

The Russians paid 35 billion, for one week of Highsec PvE.

The next spawn was an island in Solitude.

Suddenly, lazy carebears didn’t want to PvE.

They blamed us, and CCP.

The bears didn’t even try.

They wished Hawk would rescue them.

They wanted mom to die.

Highsec miners just want free easy isk.

Island isk wasn’t good enough.

To be continued…

Absolute Pleb

It’s not griefing, when you are sincerely salty.

Losers can say whatever they want in EvE Online.

Eventually, he found me.

Gankers have to follow CCP’s EULA.

Crybabies enjoy free speech.

What a guy.

He’s absolutely salty.

This went on for a few days.

Meanwhile, the Absolute Pleb discord had a laugh.

It’s not harassment, when you are bad at EvE Online.

This is what antigankers do.

That’s appropriate language for a miner.

Let’s see what else he had to say.

PLOT TWIST: He likes me more than you)))))) xD

Miners can use all the bad words.

PLOT TWIST: He has a crush on me.

What a classy guy.

I have a solution for miners like him.

There’s your warning, buddy.

PLOT TWIST: Gankers are the coolest people in the galaxy.

Welcome to reality, little guy.

That’s right.