What’s the Point?

What’s going on?

Sounds amazing.

Imagine that.

Why are they defenseless?

Why gank a defenseless AFK carebear?

That’s right.

That’s right.

Look at that groupthink downvote.

Reasonable people rarely get upvotes.

Crybabies rage downvote the truth.

Idiots get upvoted.

Bro, nobody enjoys mining.

Carebears are looooosers.

Loooooooooooooosers.

Everyone on Reddit has something to say.

Mostly, the bears cried.

Miners just don’t get it.

Give me your diamonds, or die.

So they whined, on and on.

Boohoohoo.

Boomers boomed about glory days.

Seers spake of ancient prophecies.

Trolls spread cruel gossip.

Antigankers shared tips and tricks.

Agents shared deep state intel.

Therapists offered their diagnosis.

Others wallowed in despair.

Gankers are the same people who play Zerg!

Another invigorating conversation with Reddit[censored]…

TLDR: Stay away from people who can’t PvP!

That’s right.

Why do I gank?

I just don’t like miners.

Kill them all.

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 51

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 1

There are a lot of alts.

CCP thought these were new players.

Each character imbued with a unique personality.

The primary purpose of the 1000+ alts we applied into MRMNG was to send in-game corp mails.

Our alts adopted various personas. They would surface posing as concerned linemembers, newly promoted corp officers, Agents of the New Order, Metallica enthusiasts, Hapsburg princesses, marine biologists, Ryan Reynolds, chronically ill teenagers, and so on. Over 90000 corp mails were sent over the course of the campaign, which ensured uninterrupted dialogue with the other 2000 members of Mission Ready Mining (aka Fly Fearless).

Meanwhile, New Order agents ensured Safety.

Tunnel Snakes are a menace.

Fly Fearless had a Snake infestation.

Every miner needs help.

They were about to get a lot of Assistance.

However, Safety isn’t free.

Next Time, on Part 52…

Ice Pirate

Listening to: The Ice Pirates

I play EvE Online.

It’s like Idiocracy, in outer space.

Everyone loved the tale of Tee Ka and his alts.

Now meet Ketse…

He can transfer 60-70b!

He’s a self-proclaimed goonpirate!

What a guy.

He also steals my ice.

So I helped him stop.

He was enthusiastic.

However, he forgot about his other Mackinaws.

It was a Pirate v Pirate space battle.

I guess he’s a fan?

I think he asked me on a date.

It’s a hard knock life.

I wish Ketse all the best.

However, the feeling is not mutual.

BUSTED!

Back to low…

What a crazy miner.

What a noons!

Everybody in Delve will pay.

That’s right.

I wish I was good at this game.

At least he’s not mad.

That’s right.

At least he’s still a fan…

…but ow we are no longer frriends =((

Is this salt? 🙂

Cheerzah!

=POSTSCRIPT=

End of an Era, Part 16

End of an Era, Part 1

Someone is always griefing the carebears.

So CCP put their free incursion money on a distant island.

Boo hoo hoo. Grr CCPuh-leez.

Maybe griefers would kill mom, for free?

Alas, gankers refuse to PvE on demand.

Island PvE is too much for lazy crabs.

Island mechanics are killing the game!

Why is CCP doing this?

There was a mom, but still no fleet…

Highsec carebears only want the easiest isk.

Finally, CCP spoonfed a nearby destination.

To be continued…

Let’s try ChatGPT…

Suck a D B

Listening to: My Let’s Play Mix

Red and basepilled.

Capsuleers make their own fate.

We like to help.

EvE Online is an Xtreme video game.

Ok, I’ll play, but…

Some of them went too far.

I know what to do.

Let’s kill them all.

Problem solved.

~=BONUS CONTENT=~

Sargon has released the MarkeeGankedOn cinematic experience.

Check it out boys.

Absolute Facts

It’s easy mode, with no CONCORD.

Trust me, they cry just as much.

I gank in Highsec for a reason.

Call me callous.

I’m killing your alliance, right now.

That’s reality.

Somebody said Absolute Order is a ganking alliance?

“Involved with” ganking, yes but…

That attracts the wrong kind of attention.

I never forget a bad Highsec guild.

Hey, I hotdrop in High.

I’m cool.

Garbage Down

Hey there.

We ganked a garbage truck.

Garbage can tycoon.

Billions of catalysts died…

Miners be crazy in EvE Online.

Facts…

This is the game we play…

Even garbage haulers are miners!

Be ye pirate, or be ye miner?

At least he’s not mad.

Talking about real dollars…

Oh my.

Miners deserve their fate.

I hope they calm down.

No reason to be dramatic.

Anyways…

Nobody likes a miner.

For real.

Yikesaroo

It’s crazy, right?

That’s right.

MarkeeGankedon

I guess MarkeeDragon is a streamer?

A criminal too…

He’s also hostile??

Apparently, this is his alt???

Oof. That freighter looks like some kind of fat beetle, getting swarmed by ants and slowly ripped apart.

Now, Markee claims CCP gives him preferential treatment (as they do for all streamers), and CCP nobility blesses his stream. He threw out some big namedrops to prove he is CCP approved, and I swiftly recognized one of those names. Clearly, based on this political reality, I must tread carefully, to delicately address a claim which Markee repeatedly alleged (before retracting, and then realleging, and then retracting, before realleging). He accused me of cheating!

So, here is the question of the day – was Markee streamsniped (and thereby griefed, in violation of rules which don’t forbid streamsniping, even though carebears pretend otherwise)?

The answer, believe it or not, is no.

For some reason, perhaps because he got dunked, Markee declined to preserve video evidence. Regardless, any investigation will unveil Mr Markee was indeed autopiloting directly toward me. He tried to argue that he wasn’t, based on his physical proximity to a keyboard, but I watched his stream and heard the phrase “Autopilot Engaged” followed by “Autopilot Jumping”. As Eve Online’s most professional streamsniper, my services were clearly not needed here – autopilot ensured Markee’s inevitable demise. In this particular case, the sniper rolled her eyes, rested her rifle on its tripod, and patiently waited.

Let’s see what streamer simps had to say.

Mmhmm.

As always, they tried to shame us for PvP.

They claim Weekend Kusion Aikos are afraid.

This is the most typical whining.

We’ve heard it ten thousand times before.

Cool chat.

That’s right.

Cheerzah!