Not Salty

Listening to: AI AIKO

Don’t be salty.

Australian Jesus > all done mining?
Alsvidarr > lol
Australian Jesus > enjoy docking
Alsvidarr > to think I need this to plex
Australian Jesus > nobody mines for fun mate
Alsvidarr > lmao
Alsvidarr > you’re cute
Alsvidarr > you think I can’t make ISK
Australian Jesus > if you could do it elsewhere, you’d be there
Alsvidarr > you clearly don’t know anything

That sucks for you.

I bet you are space rich…

That’s why you are in Highsec?

Ok buddy.

Miners sure have a way with words.

Oh well.

Drinkin Drank

Listening to: MEGASAFE

It happened last night.

Oof.

Then it happened again.

That’s truly amazing.

He’s too poor for simping.

He’s just a Highsec miner.

What a pleb.

Miners are to be euthanized, and not heard.

=BONUS CONTENT=

Hananeri Muvila released his AI generated album, with such hits as Safety, Mining, and Aiko Wormtongued My Orca.

Ice Pirate

Listening to: The Ice Pirates

I play EvE Online.

It’s like Idiocracy, in outer space.

Everyone loved the tale of Tee Ka and his alts.

Now meet Ketse…

He can transfer 60-70b!

He’s a self-proclaimed goonpirate!

What a guy.

He also steals my ice.

So I helped him stop.

He was enthusiastic.

However, he forgot about his other Mackinaws.

It was a Pirate v Pirate space battle.

I guess he’s a fan?

I think he asked me on a date.

It’s a hard knock life.

I wish Ketse all the best.

However, the feeling is not mutual.

BUSTED!

Back to low…

What a crazy miner.

What a noons!

Everybody in Delve will pay.

That’s right.

I wish I was good at this game.

At least he’s not mad.

That’s right.

At least he’s still a fan…

…but ow we are no longer frriends =((

Is this salt? 🙂

Cheerzah!

=POSTSCRIPT=

Wipe Out

Miners make a lot of threats.

Naturally, we evict riffraff.

Sometimes, they are crazier than normal.

Yep, it’s a Jesus miner.

The power of Christ compels!

They’ll never calm down.

That’s right.

Cheerzah!

=BONUS CONTENT=

Let’s see what Catalina had to say.

Ah, it’s a make-a-deal miner.

Sounds legit.

This was one tough negotiator.

Wow, this miner has connections.

Miner’s rebellion when?

Mmhm, sure.

Anyways, I got killrights.

I had to get out of there!

…then I came back (with more killrights).

Fun times!

ON THE CASE

Listening to: Fake Cop Gets Arrested

Antigankers are real plebs.

They’ve got nothing better to do.

Wee woo wee woo.

Wait, he’s extorting me?

See what I did there?

Miner Revenge wanted antiganker Lu’Ce to STFU.

So the antiganker suspected him of being me.

I’m not Aiko!

Even miners hate antigankers.

I do James work (he’s permanently AFK).

Every miner must drink Jamestown Koolaid.

Drink up.

Thank James for me.

In Osmon, Lu’Ce has found purpose.

She announces me.

I’ve made a lot of new friends!

Revenge is Mary’s alt?

Antigankers have it all figured out.

Stay tuned!

*Plot Twist*

Lu’Ce secretly conspires with gankers.

Nice!

Suck a D B

Listening to: My Let’s Play Mix

Red and basepilled.

Capsuleers make their own fate.

We like to help.

EvE Online is an Xtreme video game.

Ok, I’ll play, but…

Some of them went too far.

I know what to do.

Let’s kill them all.

Problem solved.

~=BONUS CONTENT=~

Sargon has released the MarkeeGankedOn cinematic experience.

Check it out boys.

Absolute Facts

It’s easy mode, with no CONCORD.

Trust me, they cry just as much.

I gank in Highsec for a reason.

Call me callous.

I’m killing your alliance, right now.

That’s reality.

Somebody said Absolute Order is a ganking alliance?

“Involved with” ganking, yes but…

That attracts the wrong kind of attention.

I never forget a bad Highsec guild.

Hey, I hotdrop in High.

I’m cool.

Garbage Down

Hey there.

We ganked a garbage truck.

Garbage can tycoon.

Billions of catalysts died…

Miners be crazy in EvE Online.

Facts…

This is the game we play…

Even garbage haulers are miners!

Be ye pirate, or be ye miner?

At least he’s not mad.

Talking about real dollars…

Oh my.

Miners deserve their fate.

I hope they calm down.

No reason to be dramatic.

Anyways…

Nobody likes a miner.

For real.

Yikesaroo

It’s crazy, right?

That’s right.

MarkeeGankedon

I guess MarkeeDragon is a streamer?

A criminal too…

He’s also hostile??

Apparently, this is his alt???

Oof. That freighter looks like some kind of fat beetle, getting swarmed by ants and slowly ripped apart.

Now, Markee claims CCP gives him preferential treatment (as they do for all streamers), and CCP nobility blesses his stream. He threw out some big namedrops to prove he is CCP approved, and I swiftly recognized one of those names. Clearly, based on this political reality, I must tread carefully, to delicately address a claim which Markee repeatedly alleged (before retracting, and then realleging, and then retracting, before realleging). He accused me of cheating!

So, here is the question of the day – was Markee streamsniped (and thereby griefed, in violation of rules which don’t forbid streamsniping, even though carebears pretend otherwise)?

The answer, believe it or not, is no.

For some reason, perhaps because he got dunked, Markee declined to preserve video evidence. Regardless, any investigation will unveil Mr Markee was indeed autopiloting directly toward me. He tried to argue that he wasn’t, based on his physical proximity to a keyboard, but I watched his stream and heard the phrase “Autopilot Engaged” followed by “Autopilot Jumping”. As Eve Online’s most professional streamsniper, my services were clearly not needed here – autopilot ensured Markee’s inevitable demise. In this particular case, the sniper rolled her eyes, rested her rifle on its tripod, and patiently waited.

Let’s see what streamer simps had to say.

Mmhmm.

As always, they tried to shame us for PvP.

They claim Weekend Kusion Aikos are afraid.

This is the most typical whining.

We’ve heard it ten thousand times before.

Cool chat.

That’s right.

Cheerzah!