Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
He’s the greatest bumper in the history of the galaxy.
Nowadays, he’s Senior Director.
Recently, a daredevil tried to murder our beloved Envoy.
Envoy offered the would-be assassin some advice.
Just then, Jesus foresaw the miner’s fate.
It’s true what they say.
That’s right.
Later that day, the miner told his friends randoms in local.
Bzzbzz.
Hello friends!
I love helping new players.
I always have time for a quick chat.
Silly bears.
I like to use the Catalyst Coercer.
Miners are slow learners.
That’s re right.
That’s right!
EvE Online is a game that goes like this.
They compose poorly written insults, followed by threats.
Then they cry like a bitch.
There’s a lot of that.
Some miners are just plain stupid.
SIDEBAR: CTAPblu is a popular boy’s name!
It’s some sort of Soviet cult?
This is how you identify bots and bouncehackers.
Cool, now you know more about that map.
Nobody likes space taxes.
Everybody begs for special favours.
Miners are kinda crazy (and needy).
I love getting special little messages.
Sometimes I get a complaint.
I definitely care.
Cool story, bro.
Silent Company wasn’t sufficiently silent.
So they got a stiff response.
The Big Bomper was back.
This would not end well for transgressors.
They had not been so bumped since 2012.
It would not take long.
We were going to need MORE miners on OUR moons.
PLOT TWIST: Bumpers and gankers are in bed together.
The system was soon empty.
Silent Company was totally dominated by a real man.
This big boy humiliated the miners, soaring through their orbital rings.
Embarrassing!
To be continued…
You know what? I think I will join.
Highsec is a SAFE space.
Miners are just dying to meet us (haha).
Our next guest is HAZZIK.
#sad
Carebears never take personal responsibility.
It’s the old “I’m just a poor miner” defense.
Facing bankruptcy and eviction, he tried a new career.
It’s miner’s night at the club.
What a funny guy.
He should have bought a mining permit.
Ba dum tss.
We are top tier players, and that’s no joke.
Well, I hope he had fun.
o7 capsuleers!
Listening to: Beware, Beware
Oh thanks.
Seasons Greetings to all!
I’m all dressed up and ready to go.
You love it.
This year, we celebrate by ganking Highsec miners.
That’s right.
That’s right!
Why do we gank them?
Enjoy a fat paragraph.
This one is a ‘philosophy miner’.
They are crazies (irl).
For real, fr.
They often like to negotiate.
I just hope he enjoyed EvE Online.
Now he’s quitting forever (again).
That’s one point for Team Safety!
Zero points for everyone else.
Oh wait, there’s more…
This is BONUS content.
Behold, an antiganker is born…
Are you keeping score?
That’s right!
He even learned a little CODE. history.
He also met our favourite little princess.
Some guys are into me.
They remember me for the rest of their life.
He won in his own little way.
o7 capsuleer!
This is a paid advertisement.
Sam Kosho killed this Tayra.
What’s next for our crybaby of the day?
That’s right.
Watch out for the witch, Aiko Danuja!
That’s right.
Watching: Sovereign Citizen Moments
Here’s the TLDR:
R3aper992 is our star of the day.
What a miner.
Nice pod!
I know what miners want.
A few minutes later…
He’s a sovereign citizen!
That’s right.
He’s a free miner.
A stateless traveler.
I wonder what else he has to say?
Check this out!
Textbok sovvie.
He definitely knows Admiralty law!
If you don’t make a contract, they can’t arrest you.
I wonder if he believes in aliens?
Any last words?
Later that day…
We diagnosed him with a case of the crazies.
That’s right.
That’s right!
