Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Who is the greatest ganker in the history of EvE Online?
One name comes immediately to mind.
Can you guess who?
Let’s allow the miners to vote…
Once again, Aiko Danuja is the clear winner.
Congratulations are pouring in from across the galaxy.
Why do I deserve such high honours?
Oh, that’s easy to understand.
I’m literally the best (and I know it).
I’m just a natural born bot killer.
o7 capsuleers!
(meanwhile in local…)
Absolute Order Absolute Honor (AH) was outraged.
Orion Crabs > Fuck the law
Aiko Danuja > so you admit to being a criminal
Orion Crabs > Getting revenge
Their G-Team tried to abduct High Princess Aiko.
Bigus Dingus DOI > the queen herself in local
Orion Crabs > We can be here all day
Aiko Danuja > why are u doing this
Orion Crabs > To teach u to not be a pussy
They sent a war flotilla to my undock.
Aiko Danuja > Sargon Of Amerish help
Aiko Danuja > this guy griefing me into a station
Sargon Of Amerish > Orion Crabs you shouldnt be mean to the aiko bad things happen to those who are mean to the aiko
Aiko Danuja > he brought the entire AO standing fleet to poinen
Aiko Danuja > all 4 of them are here now
Aiko Danuja > well 3 of 4
Orion Crabs > yall really shut up
I was mega big scared.
Orion Crabs > Jumping someone when theyre vulnerable isnt a fight
Aiko Danuja > this guy griefing me into a station
Aiko Danuja > they are camping me in
qonedone > lol says who Aiko Danuja lets play ball u owe me some isk to so i can u it to buy you corage
These guys are noobs!
Aiko Danuja > im mega permabubbled in Poinen IV – Moon 6 – Expert Distribution Retail Center
Ananda Alasdair > Aiko Danuja I spent 30 mins listening to your bullshit and the bullshit of your friends. IM gooD!
Sargon Of Amerish > you shouldnt be mean to the aiko bad things happen to those who are mean to the aiko
qonedone > dam wimps comeout and meat your daddy
Orion Crabs > I’d like to see these bad things
They are slow learners.
Bigus Dingus DOI > no way im undocking lmao
What happened to their battleship?
Absolute Order was impressed.
Ain’t that the truth?
They had all kinds of questions for the Heroin of Highsec.
Just then, they gave me a new nickname.
I legit earned that title, fair and square.
I’ve got a lot of titles.
I am the Alpha Wolf Queen Bee of Highsec.
I even got a formal battlefield apology.
There was one final request.
Listening to: Absolute Truth Nuke
That’s right.
Absolute Order Honor Glory Plebsquad fails again (and again).
That’s right!
Double Commissar Centurion Smith has a lot to say.
So do his fellow AH fanboys.
I didn’t see that coming.
Consider me blindsided.
They are a queer lot.
These guys are intense!
Orion is was a 7th class subminer.
So I offered a little help.
He defected, but mrlee wants the miner back…
They sent their G-team to hunt me down.
Suddenly, AIKO…
This time, they learnt a lesson.
That’s right!
To be continued…
Now Watching: AIKO, Season 2
EvE Online is a challenging game.
It’s easy to get confused.
I roleplay as a guide and mentor.
I allow every miner to tell their sad story.
You can tell I definitely care.
I am living the dream.
That’s right.
I’m hunting you.
It’s always the same pattern.
Post your shit racist diatribes online, and look what happens.
Now I’m just SO lonely.
If only someone, anyone, would just please talk to me.
That’ll do.
I guess this is why I’m BIG MAD on the daily.
I hope that miner calms down.
Just accept it, move on and play the game.
If you can…
Cheerzah brav!
Pardon the language, but…
Can you spot a racist miner?
I am their Malediction.
Let’s just get straight to the point.
That’s right, so crazy.
At least I’m having fun.
I am living RENT FREE.
Seems obsessive.
Many essays later…
It’s a conference of shitposting racist incels.
I know exactly how to deal with all of them.
You too buddy.
Here we go!
It’s a true story about EvE Online (and why these guys are permabanned).
This is a recurring daily event, referenced in my report.
Isn’t it really that right?
For real.
…explained everything.
I bet it makes me SO angry.
I really miss you guys!
Welcome back to the best blog in EvE Online.
I know you read it.
My blog literally inspires you.
Isn’t that right?
I wonder what could go wrong?
Now what will Globby do?
I’ll wait until Wrathful Hawk figures it out.
Why are these miners such racist crybabies?
Here’s the big question.
Why are we STILL happening to them?
Are they enjoying the drama?
Miners often wonder what is happening.
I would say they are still finding out.
Consequences will never be the same.
You know what I’m sayin?
There’s more headed your way.
Some people actually love a fight.
I certainly do.
LOL!
LMAO!
Can you guess what happened next?
That’s right.
That’s right!
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
He’s the greatest bumper in the history of the galaxy.
Nowadays, he’s Senior Director.
Recently, a daredevil tried to murder our beloved Envoy.
Envoy offered the would-be assassin some advice.
Just then, Jesus foresaw the miner’s fate.
It’s true what they say.
That’s right.
Later that day, the miner told his friends randoms in local.
Bzzbzz.
Hello friends!
I love helping new players.
I always have time for a quick chat.
Silly bears.
I like to use the Catalyst Coercer.
Miners are slow learners.
That’s re right.
That’s right!
EvE Online is a game that goes like this.
They compose poorly written insults, followed by threats.
Then they cry like a bitch.
There’s a lot of that.
Some miners are just plain stupid.
SIDEBAR: CTAPblu is a popular boy’s name!
It’s some sort of Soviet cult?
This is how you identify bots and bouncehackers.
Cool, now you know more about that map.
Nobody likes space taxes.
Everybody begs for special favours.
Miners are kinda crazy (and needy).
I love getting special little messages.
Sometimes I get a complaint.
I definitely care.
Cool story, bro.
