Highsec Recruiting, Part 3

Highsec Recruiting, Part 1

Previously, newbro Mason vowed to destroy me.

This would require preparation.

Mason was excited by the thought of PvP with me.

In EvE Online, PvP is a sign of genuine affection.

Our relationship began to blossom.

However, I don’t like impudence.

Mason is a real miner.

Whereas, I am a perfect tenth-wave feminist!

Like all miners, he is a cyberbully greefer.

Fortunately, Mason began to regret his evil ways.

It was time to turn over a leaf…

My expectations were clear.

I demanded an isk sacrifice, for me.

So Mason sent his life savings.

Now I have Mason right where I want him.

He hates being told what to do…

…but now he has new friends, and a new corporation.

Everyone was impressed!

It was the start of a new era.

Mason is my miner.

I sure hope we get along!

What a good boy.

He deserves me!

Cheerzah!

Highsec Recruiting, Part 2

Highsec Recruiting, Part 1

The recruiting channel was abuzz.

I was happy to share the good news.

Bussy gankers are IN.

Eventually, a newbro contacted me.

This miner didn’t like gankers.

He wanted me to understand.

So we had a chat…

This went well.

We soon reached an understanding.

I will fight for Safety.

No miner left behind!

To be continued…

***BONUS CONTENT***

Miners are crazy people…

…in real life!

Cheerzah!

Real Talk

I like to have fun.

Recently, I reported breaking news.

Zazz is a former fan.

Remember the good old days, when Zazz still played EvE Online, after James 315 ragequit two years before?

Haha. Remember that time The Aggressor dunked James, who spent eight (8!) years writing a therapy blog, before disappearing, just like he did after his previous hobby involving… political content?

Me and James 315, we agree on politics like Ocasio-Cortez and Mitch. However, the old turtle has been dead for years. His CODE. was a tea party, astroturfed by George, which collapsed when the bubble burst. I am more sophisticated than that. By applying the principles of Hari Seldon, the Order has evolved into a grassroots autocracy.

Many battles, she emerged victorious,
Leaving her foes feeling notorious.

#SouthSide

Bards don’t hiphop for Zazz.

James was a funny man, but I’m not.

I’m just here to help.

Some miners yearn for the old Minerbumping, with Annie Frank who on September 6, 2018, said “You did really good work. I really appreciate your new and different post. Please guys keep it up and share with us some unique post in the futureMenmy shopCar Stereo Double Din Android Player Hyepersonic Double Din Player Hyundai Creta Double Din Player CBSE open school cbse private banzaraon journeyAdj online.”

James always believed in me, even if Zazz lost faith.

I don’t think this is funny.

Who writes erotic fanfic about me and James, in the belt?

I get it… This is an ‘origin’ story.

Grrr. Hulksgarrrrr hathat. Hulkgeddon SMASH

“Praise Aiko!” is reverberated throughout the entire starbase, again and again, as the fleet takes off. Today, the miners will be hunted. Today, the miners will once again know fear.

It goes on, and reaches a happy ending.


Lonely Miner

CABO4EVER > mack, realy?
CABO4EVER > CAME ALL THE WAY JUST TO SAY hi TO cabo?
CABO4EVER > PEOPLE, THIS IS A GANKER

Hello CABO.

CABO4EVER > you tried to kill my mack..remember?
CABO4EVER > CONCORDE?
CABO4EVER > OFCOURSE, WHAT HAD YOU EXPECTED?
CABO4EVER > its high sec, mate..

CABO was pleased to collect killrights.

CABO4EVER > 26 days 26 days..23 days…26 days.. have the time, dont worry:) i amwatching you ALL…every step…
Zopiclone > activate my killright
CABO4EVER > i could be your daddy , son…
CABO4EVER > perhaps grandpa…kid..
Zopiclone > Please activate the KR on me
CABO4EVER > you wont be in a CAT, promissed..when you go BOOOOMMM! ill be camping out there when you are in your shiny BS…..KAAABBBOOOOOOMMM!1

Other miners were not impressed.

Rozo Druprime > lol he’s so stupid
Ellena Saisima > miners have no teeth so he wont actually do anything
CABO4EVER > it said i could bring friends…and thats what i am going to do.. but only when it hurts, realy hurts, lmao
Eyghynouel en Thielles > he accused me of being a “ganker” and i’ve only been playing for a week
Rozo Druprime > lol yeah he’s a retard, ignore him.
CABO4EVER > you read about those agents that can locate any player anywhere, right? and surprisely….KAAABBOOOMMM, BANG YOU R DEAD, LMAO!!!!
CABO4EVER > LMAO

CABO is a lonely miner.

CABO4EVER > i have no one to talk to..cause of those filthy gankers 🙁 lets buried the axe, come harvest with me
Rozo Druprime > not even his “friends” want him in their corps. he’s looking for a new mining corp cause he got kicked out of all the other ones lol
CABO4EVER > i am a miner, not a fighter…:)

Special Time

Destiny Corrupted is bad at screenshots.

Let’s check the logs…

[01:01:52] MUHU001 > я бы тебе денег перевел 10 милиона [01:01:56] MUHU001 > дибил [01:04:08] Destiny Corrupted > Вы должны купить разрешение на перевозку [01:04:18] Destiny Corrupted > 100KK ))) [01:05:34] MUHU001 > я новенкий откуда я знаю где покупать я играю 6 день и лечу откуда начал [01:06:16] Destiny Corrupted > Ваши великие лидеры начали эту войну [01:06:35] Destiny Corrupted > Мы только защищаем себя [01:06:57] MUHU001 > меня ваша война не интересует

Uh…

MUHU001 > I’m new how do I know where to buy I play 6 days and fly from where I started

MUHU was just a newbro.

MUHU001 > and what do you want me to raise money for a new powerful ship and also start fighting against you
Destiny Corrupted > A war that is going very badly for you!
MUHU001 > I’m not interested in your war

MUHU was not interested in his own wars.

Even when his alliance is the aggressor…

MUHU001 > I’m just upgrading the character
Destiny Corrupted > I’m just doing my job
MUHU001 > that’s mean

However, he vowed to fight back against meanies.

MUHU001 > I can also fly on my armagidon and destroy all passing ships and no one else will pour into your system
MUHU001 > I realized only one thing for myself, if I die, I will hunt too and 6 people can join

He promised to hunt Destiny.

MUHU001 > I repeat to you again, we are not all of us beginners on day 6, if it goes on like this, we will start hunting
MUHU001 > and our yel will not be an industry but a bounty hunt

He was serious.

MUHU001 > you are very mistaken if I bought armagidon and other beginners mind enough, believe me, I’m not a child
MUHU001 > how better to ship the ship, you would not rush to your conclusions it can become a boomerang for you

Destiny is finished!

MUHU001 > next time I’ll go there to you if I heal, I will destroy and fly not alone but in a group
MUHU001 > you finished the game
MUHU001 > and everyone will know about it you will be outcasts
MUHU001 > a squeak to you and not to seal, you can give normal people just like that

POP QUIZ: How do you say asteroid slave farmers in Russian?

Destiny Corrupted > There is no one in your “group” except asteroid slave farmers
MUHU001 > suck then silently
Destiny Corrupted > Get your whole fleet over here right now
MUHU001 > suck silently I said
MUHU001 > sheep pissed

MUHU was getting excited.

Destiny Corrupted > You talk a lot but do little
MUHU001 > talk less suck more, you will suck
Destiny Corrupted > It will be even more embarrassing when I destroy your entire fleet while I suck
MUHU001 > AAAAAAA SUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCKING

It was a special time.

MUHU001 > FUCK FUCK ME
Destiny Corrupted > Where is the fleet?
MUHU001 > SILENT FURTHER SUCK
MUHU001 > YOU PLAY FOR 14 YEARS AND SUCH FUCK NICESH YOU UNDERSTAND FUCK



Irbukad’s Revenge

Irbukad spotted his arch-nemesis…

Oh look, there he is!

Hahah, Irbukad wanted to grief that miner.

So Irbu contracted a bounty hunter…

How to be certain of success?

As always, payment upfront.

Hehehe, Irbukad had a funny thought…

Ok, let’s play EvE Online!

Contract accepted.

Cheers!

PLOT TWIST: Irbukad was just an alt.

In fact, his main controls two alts.

Another hit, on the same target.

Haha, miners never learn.

Ozran Heti Jaynara > sargon already took 750 from me
Aiko Danuja > i am not sargon
Ozran Heti Jaynara > isk after completetion
Aiko Danuja > Payment due in advance.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > not agian cant fool me twice

Challenge accepted!


Aiko Danuja > As I said
Aiko Danuja > Payment due in advance.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > well aparently when payed in advance things dont get completed
Aiko Danuja > This is not a debate. If you want me to do something, you need to pay. Complaining about someone else doesn’t convince me of anything.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > ok well dont think we are going to get an agreement the penuts are a matter of principle
Aiko Danuja > On principle, I do not work for free.

We reached an impasse.

Ozran Heti Jaynara > he will rage you will love it and you will be praised and payed
Aiko Danuja > I’ve heard that before.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > u know u want to
Aiko Danuja > I don’t know that.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > yes you do i gave 750 to sargon as a taste
Aiko Danuja > I am not Sargon.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > i tottally believe you

Fortunately, Ozran found faith.

Ozran Heti Jaynara > he just was in a troll mood he blocked and will not complete contract
Aiko Danuja > That’s your problem. I am not doing it for free.
Aiko Danuja > Why would I believe you?
Ozran Heti Jaynara > because i love you
Ozran Heti Jaynara > of coarse 🙂
Aiko Danuja > If you love me so much, you’ll pay.

Checkmate!

Ozran Heti Jaynara > i can wait but will this be done today i like to watch 🙂
Ozran Heti Jaynara > hes still out mineing on moon
Ozran Heti Jaynara > just send mail when complete
Ozran Heti Jaynara > o/












Tricky TrickyNicky

Listening to: It’s Too Late

TrickyNicky was a real trickster.

I’ve heard allegations of stream sniping and illegal EULA violating Highsec PvP. However, nobody stream sniped Nick. Absolutely not. Although he was streaming, nobody was watching his stream for any kind of intel or ingame advantage. In fact, believe it or not, but we can actually find you with (or without) combat probes. For real. No cap.

Secondly, as you watch the video, you can see Nick was AFK. In fact, he was busy on a video call, showing off his electric shapes and his shades. Indeed, when I entered local, Nick wasn’t in the same room as his computer! Can you imagine playing any other game, and your opponents aren’t even there? What kind of game is that? Hello?

We must recognize the truth. Miners covet ice and ore, but they refuse to follow basic safety protocols. As dedicated content providers, it is our duty to make EvE Online challenging and interesting, so they decide to actually try and pay attention. They might call us griefers, and threaten to ban us, kill us, rape us, and report us. However, we must do our part to help them stay awake. Remember, this is a game.

We had a quick chat.

Aiko Danuja > If everyone mined all day, then the ore wouldn’t have any value. So when you think about it like that, ganking is good for miners.
TrickyNicky > your not wrong on the ganking
TrickyNicky > tipping my cap = o7
Aiko Danuja > I’ll allow it.

He told me a little about himself.

TrickyNicky > im going to give you my resume
Aiko Danuja > Very well.
TrickyNicky > my main is mining, i have a mackinaw and hulk for ore and ice mining, im about within a month or 2 away from a ship that can do ore and ice compression. (all depends what comes first)
Aiko Danuja > I see.

He also explained his revenge plot.

TrickyNicky > im a numbers guy, I am more in favor by reporting Sargon Of Amerish for stream sniping
TrickyNicky > either way i have caught Sargon Of Amerish for stream sniping. but i would like to put diferrentices aside for future employment.

I sure hope he calms down.

Aiko Danuja > You were reported by an anonymous informant who noticed you did not have a mining permit.
TrickyNicky > thats a “3rd party in game permit” with controversal stream sniping. which in the end is a war…. do we want that???
Aiko Danuja > I should hope not.

Nick left me with an ominous warning.

I asked my mom to review the gank.

Don’t worry mom, I’ll save the miners.

Thanks for the memories (and augmented mining drones).

… I’m holding on to this scram
Got your shields ten percent down
And I’m hearing what you say
But I just don’t even care

… You tell me that you need ore
Then you go AFK, and oh wait
You tell me that you’re sorry
Didn’t think I’d warp in and say

… That it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
Too late, oh

… I’d take another security hit, just let it fall
To take a shot at you
But that’s nothing new, yeah yeah

… I loved you with neutrons, flashing red
And you say it’s just not fair
CCP let you think it was safe
But you should be afraid

… It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late, whoa