TamiyaCowboy

TamiyaCowboy brought a terrible crime to my attention. As you know, Tamiya is a veteran streamer. Over the course of a legendary seventeen year career, with seventy thousand hours of combat experience, Tamiya has dunked more than one hundred vessels. Unfortunately, his inspirational story reached a disturbing finale.

Our whiteknight champion was brought down, by an “instalocking hacker multiscript kiddy stream sniper.” Supposedly, I am responsible, because this “f****** b****” is a member of my alliance. However, I am not the dean of SAK, and have never met Caldari Citizen. Nevertheless, as Tamiya informed me, 2119440471 is a brainwave controlled minion of the notorious cyberbully, Adrian Vexier.

Miners dread this vexatious capsuleer, but Adrian is also not a member of my alliance. In fact, he is in another alliance.

Regardless, Tamiya described a brutal beating…

I began to suspect Tamiya was exaggerating, falsely portraying himself as an innocent victim.

As Tamiya explained, he was also bullied by lead developer Ergroth DeBruges (once again, not in my alliance).

However, contradicting this claim, Tamiya’s own viewers felt that Ergroth’s newbie Tristan posed no threat.

According to Tamiya, Adrian stalked him, trespassing upon Tamiya’s private public Twitch stream. In fact, Tamiya invited Adrian to the party! It is unreasonable to claim Adrian invaded the stream, when Tamiya repeatedly and personally invited Adrian Ergroth, whom Tamiya believed to be a “f****** total newbie.”

Meanwhile, viewers observed that the alleged “stream sniper” didn’t even want to join Twitch.

Subsequently, Tamiya began to trash talk the “f****** newbie in a piece of f****** s*** ship.” Tamiya called him a “broke a** b***** r*****” and vowed to “f****** r*** and literally f****** kill and literally f****** r*** to little bits.” Yes, our innocent streamer vowed to “literally rape” and “literally kill” Ergroth. That’s a verifiable fact.

They wanted to provoke an emotional reaction.

Within Tamiya’s toxic chat, virtue signalling carebears frequently violate the EULA of both Twitch and EvE Online.

As a journalist, I am an advocate of free speech. I don’t think bad language is that bad, because I grew up in the hard towers of a palatial estate. However, some people conspire to portray PvP players as griefers, whilst themselves engaging in griefplay. I don’t mind the inappropriate language, but I object to blatant hypocrisy.

Tamiya’s viewers wanted him to PvP a “newbie”, and plotted to “r***” Ergroth. Therefore, Tamiya invited Ergroth to Twitch, for the purpose of extracting newbie salt and tears.

Tamiya wasn’t trying to get away from Ergroth. Instead, he encouraged Ergroth to follow. Tamiya literally said, “Let’s see if I can bait him. I want him to follow me.”

Only turbominer Lucas wanted a boring PvE stream.

A career forum troll, Lucas has been ranting for fifteen years, in an endless crusade against video game PvP.

Why is Lucas so mad?

He just wants to mine in easy mode…

Therefore, Lucas hopes to remove PvP.

Tamiya tried to include Lucas (who was afraid of Ergroth).

Everyone else was ready to fight!

Meanwhile, Tamiya invited people to Twitch, including the person he intended to bait. Is it reasonable to accuse someone of stream sniping, when you invite them to your stream?

Wasn’t Tamiya asking for it?

PLOT TWIST: With an instalocking script, and smartbombs, Caldari Citizen wallhacked his way to victory!

As I watched this unfold, I realized Tamiya is a poor sport, salty after losing a fight he intended to win. He tried to bait a newbie, and got mad because they won. As a veteran player, he should know better. You don’t need to stream snipe, to find a pod on the Jita gate!

After his humiliating defeat, Tamiya switched to Elite Dangerous, a game where carebears pretend to be space pirates. Ironically, even this game warned Tamiya to be more careful.

Oh no, simulated tunnel snakes!

Tamiya failed again.

Without further ado, Tamiya’s vulgar stream is linked below, where you can hear him for yourself.

It’s obvious what happened.

Tamiya wanted to fight a new player, and lost. Subsequently, he made a false accusation, pretending to be the victim of someone he tried to bait, “We could just report him for being a f****** griefer… just to really rub some salt…” Meanwhile, he gloated about preferential treatment “because I’m a f****** streamer.”

What an angry bear.

He even said CCP devs are “literally f****** little b**** girls”.

That’s just sexist!

*****

POSTSCRIPT: Upon viewing this blog, at least one of Tamiya’s viewers has understood my point. Tamiya’s chat was full of people laughing at Ergroth, and trying to provoke a fight.

Tami still claims to be innocent.

Miner Hunting Service

Listening to: Bubblegum Bitch

The MHS continues to earn dividends.

Send me isk, and your dreams will come true!

I love to help!

I’m like BLACKFLAG, but way more profitable.

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!

Just listen to these customer testimonials.

Haha, I love EvE Online.

*****

Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll
Don’t care if you think I’m dumb, I don’t care at all
Carebear, sweetie pie, wanna be adored
I’m the girl you’ll die for

I’ll chew you up, and I’ll spit you out
‘Cause that’s what ganking, is all about
So watch me close and orbit me hard
I’m gonna pop your bubblegum heart

I’m Miss Sugar Pink, liquor, liquor purple lips
Hit me with your sweet love, steal me with an isk

I’m a queentex, latex, I’m a ganking maid
Life gave me some lemons, so I made some lemonade
You will pop, baby, here I come
Straight to number one!

Oh, dear diary, I met a boy
He made my doll heart light up with joy
Oh, dear diary, his ship fell apart
Welcome to my life in EvE Online

lorrenzo nub Fails Again

Previously, we met lorrenzo nub.

lorrenzo doesn’t like us.

So he began building a space army.

However, first he went mining.

Ahbazon is a SAFE space.

As a findom, I expect tribute.

Of course, he also needed a mining permit.

Lorrenzo was happy, because mining permits are real.

Oh no!

Drone Task Force was on the case…

To be continued…

Seek Help

Play EvE Online responsibly.

Experienced agents are standing by.

We want to help you.

However, this is just a game.

Help is available.

I’d recommend Broadcast for Reps, but the last thing you need is ‘help’ from whiteknight carebear virtue signalers.

You are not a victim. You are an addict.

Seek help, in real life.

Listen to me very carefully.

Personal responsibility starts with YOU.

Empower yourself.

I recommend therapy.

Seriously.

Ya know?

lorrenzo nub

Newbro lorrenzo identified as a STeeLGamer.

However, one gank pushed him over the edge.

The man of STeeL became a pillar of salt.

lorrenzo nub > fuck off assholes this is my first day back
lorrenzo nub > 10 years away and your fucking assholes
1 Of Several > calm down, miner
lorrenzo nub > your botting and now reported

Like most miners, lorrenzo is an innocent angel, who needs a safe space in Highsec (so he can enjoy AFK mining).

lorrenzo nub > fuck you , cant you dickheads just leave ppl alon you cunts cant just leave me alone , already having a bad enough time irl cunts like you take my only peace and fuck it up
lorrenzo nub > your just a asshole who probably cant get laid in real life and has you mom hold a poop bucket under them so you dont have to get up from this game no life loser who can only get back at real life on a game
lorrenzo nub > did your daddy beat you and thats why you have to lash out but ofc your to big of a loser to go to null sec to much of a pussy to go fight actual ppl , instead just gate camp high sec did your mom not love you , or hug you ?or did she just leave you as a baby?

lorrenzo nub > big little girl you are did you want the number of a good counceler ? your dad made good use of you ?or was it your brother ?
lorrenzo nub > your the one crying than have to come on here and think your tough , like your dad when he beat you as child feel better now you killed a defenceless players ship
lorrenzo nub > cant hack it in null fighting ppl who can fight back did you get bullied at school too ? you going to go cry into your pillow when you log off ?

Was lorrenzo upset?

lorrenzo nub > no more upset than you where when your moms boyfriend beat you im not the one who feels good about sitting in high sec praying on defencless ppl and cant even one on one ppl , hell i bet my ship could of took you out one on one

Eventually, the conversation ended.

1 Of Several > Go complain in other chats!
lorrenzo nub > your alliance will be disolved in 45 days

lorrenzo began crying in other chats.

Sargon encouraged him to try an easier game.

Instead, lorrenzo vowed revenge.

His next step was to whine in Rookie Help.

Alas, CCP griefed him mercilessly.

Next, he hired a shadow to follow Sargon.

Sargon soon ditched the incompetent spy.

Cheers!

ag Dummydumreee

TRIGGER WARNING: MEAN WORDS

I always think, ya know, I got other things I’d rather do than play EvE Online, or write about it… but then I log in, and encounter the incredible stupidity of Idiocracy Online.

Previously, I discussed how incompetent antigankers continually fail, whilst roleplaying success. It’s never clear what they accomplished, but they sure as hell didn’t stop any gankers.

Recently, we spotted Highsec Plebtards camping Juunigashi with Stormbringers, desperately hoping to sperg lightning bolts in a windowlicking attempt to save a freighter.

The obvious solution was to warp into Uedama (with the dummydumdums following like Keystone Cops), as we then warped into Ikao, and back into Juunigashi to kill the target.

I could not conceal my contempt.

I honestly question the time I’ve invested in EvE, but at least I’m going down in history as the all time greatest. However, how does one justify investing even more time (years more than me), and yet failing to come close? It’s like, when you are slamming homeruns out of the stadium, how can you possibly have respect for a permapleb who is drunk on antifreeze and all-you-can-eat chilidogs?

Running a bunch of alts is bad enough, but imagine running a bunch of alts and failing to accomplish anything!

Apparently, some people refer to their alts as “we”.

The antiganker posed an interesting question…

I once heard of a turboautist, who wasted years following Jason, Joe/Bob, Aussie, brainlet, Benji, loyal/Trump, etc.

This goblok would always believe he saved a freighter, proudly proclaiming, “Freighter saaaaaaaaved.”

I simply cannot stand a stupid man.

However, did “we” save the freighter?

Apparently not!

Suddenly, the loser didn’t want to gloat.

Eventually, he showed the true nature of the whiteknight.

I believe him.

I’m cute!