Category: Tears

Chillno

Chillso Ace isn’t very chill.

He explained why.

He doesn’t have to be.

Instead, Chillso can curse mat Otsito (and his family).

First, they will get cancer, and then the government death panel.

As Chillso explained, mat is a mass murdering psychopath in real-life. Therefore, it is only just and fair that mat’s entire family be stricken with cancer (before their public execution). As a man, mat must accept Chillso’s judgment.

The next day, Chillso made a simple proposition.

If mat kills himself, that would make it easier to mine.

Many years ago, the Mittani joked about suicide, and this is often cited as evidence of the Mittani’s depraved mind. Consequently, when the Mittani heard about Chillso, he asked mat to give the miner a second chance.

Meanwhile, Chillso reached out to local miners, including two imperial informants. As it turns out, Chillso is conducting a coordinated psyops campaign intended to convince mat to kill himself (in real life).

Chillso is allowed to do this. Right?

It’s just a game.

Meanwhile, Krig Povelli was warned by CCP, because he is Muslim.

I’m glad CCP has sensible policies, which are fairly enforced.

Indeed, Krig has been cursed for fifty years.

I hate Mmm0s

Yesterday, we learned about furry marauders, who yiff their way across Highsec. Sargon has compiled a nice video of our first contact.

It’s seventeen minutes, and worth watching. I noticed that these ‘innocent’ dog people were making fun of Goose, and laughing about whether he dresses up as a goose in real-life. Furthermore, the guy that got ganked is on audio, saying that the reason he was ganked, is because HE was talking shit. We can conclude that yesterday’s incident was not an example of my alliance being toxic toward furries, but rather a “community driven” response against toxic bullies (who happen to be furries).

Thanks to everyone who helps keep Highsec safe.

Get it Done

This is how it’s done.

I’m a miner’s best friend.

I’m here to help!

I’m the best.

I’ve sure come a long way.

Would you like to know more?

That’s fine, I’m having a party in his crypt.

Everybody knows what happened.

Sometimes, these things happen.

Antigankers are gonna need new corporations.

Meanwhile, I’m doing pretty good.

Feel free to join me.

We can have a lot of fun.

You know what I mean?

It’s gonna be great.

I’m Aiko!

Thanks for the support!

That’s right!

Oh, it’s you again?

My email gets a lot of spam.

Yes, that Ward.

EVE has endless cringe drama.

When I kicked Ward out of CODE. with the blessing of James 315, I only did it because I didn’t want to be in the same alliance. No thanks!

Like, really?

Apparently, Ward didn’t biomass.

So now I’m getting more insane rants.

That’s right. James 315 was bullied out of the game, by Ward.

So now you know, the rest of the story.

Ward, I’m sorry, you aren’t even interesting enough for a full post. It’s just like yikes, like omg stop mailing me. Like wow, like how are you still like writing emails at me?

Let’s check out some ok quality salt.

Arkan Soikutsu is a born again miner.

Was that an un-ironic grrrrr?

Arkan Soikutsu > christianity says not to killl………….
Aiko Danuja > You broke the 10 commandments
Aiko Danuja > The wages of sin are DEATH
Arkan Soikutsu > so did you ?
Aiko Danuja > I am without sin, a virgin and chaste.
Radar-FTL Interlink Communicator > filthy miners will meet justice
Aiko Danuja > Pay unto Radar-FTL Interlink Communicator what is Radar-FTL Interlink Communicator’s – this is written in the Bible.

Every now and again, we meet an unrepentant miner.

They are salty with the tears of Christ.

What a great game!

As for Ward… I know you are reading this. Please, just be honest with yourself, and review the email I sent you literally years ago.

It’s been memorable, that’s for sure.

Happy New Year!

Yah, you’ve sure changed a lot…

That’s right.

My Business

My business is Highsec business, and I mean business.

When I discovered Tathar mining in an 0.9, I was absolutely disgusted. He’s been playing since 2011, and mining in an 0.9!

I finally got his attention.

He was ashamed. However, when asked to purchase a mining permit, Tather began to extort me. He threatened to quit, unless he could mine for free!

Meanwhile, he worried I might shoot his ship (again).

Perhaps I might give it back, if he obeys the law?

Tathar wanted his ship, but he didn’t like having to pay for it. He just wanted to relax, and make isk while doing something else.

We had a little debate about governance and property rights.

I had to exert my authority.

He prophesied that EVE is dying, and it is Aiko, Destroyer of Miners, who will be the ultimate undoing of the AFK caste.

I tried one last time to be reasonable.

Some people say I’m a beeutiful witch. Bzzbzz.

That’s right. I’m a wasp.

Pay me.

It works like a charm.

It’s not roleplay.

This is serious space business.

lowsec outreach

As part of our lowsec outreach programme, we are removing Gallente terrorists from former Caldari space. Dodixie democracy is a scam, and ‘their’ stars are rightfully administered by my loyal vassal, the Caldari State.

During the Siege of Fliet, Gallente crabs were evicted by the New Order.

Subsequently, the dead pirate Sheltark Sykari decided it would be ok to pad his Caldari killboard, by whoring on gank catalysts in Uedama. This is a good time to remember that our claim in Uedama is real, unlike the claims of faction warfare roleplayers. I consulted with Dolphin Don, and we agreed it was time.

Don began clearing the gate, removing Sheltark’s morale support barge, piloted by fellow streamer evan mclean (aka Kalle Almighty). Subsequently, we were approached by a frog, Fjun Saraki. Since he was at war with Sheltark, Fjun offered assistance. However, we soon noticed something wrong with Fjun.

Aiko Danuja > the issue is Sheltark will just jump gate
Fjun Saraki > but once he jumps other side is where i want him
Aiko Danuja > can u catch his frigate?
Fjun Saraki > my bc locks slow right?
Aiko Danuja > yep
Fjun Saraki > if i shoot him hes a legal target for me cause im gallente militia
Aiko Danuja > i know this
Fjun Saraki > but then that means im suspect right?

Like most frogs, Fjun was incompetent. Meanwhile, on Sheltark’s stream, we observed Fjun sending salty messages.

I wasn’t sure who to bump first. Neither miner had a mining permit, so how should I prioritize? Naturally, I consulted the Code, which I personally wrote (and loaned to James 315, back in 2012), “I will occasionally have more than one miner whom I could bump. So how should I prioritize? Those who violate the Code will be at increased risk.” With this in mind, I constructed a target priority matrix.

It was close, but the matrix designated Fjun as our target.

It thus came to pass, that Safety agents rescued an antiganker, whilst the antiganker was busily crafting himself another medal.

Sheltark was the happiest ag in the history of Uedama.

Afterward, I updated my tactical matrix.

It was clear what must be done.

Victory!

Simping for Anlions

Why, hello there!

That’s right! I’m exactly what James was hoping to summon.

I’m soo cool. I even ganked a Venture!

Ventures are the saltiest pilots in the galaxy.

Angel pretended to be an “I don’t care” bear.

This didn’t last long.

Recently, I noticed the newest carebear corp.

The recruiter from SICO started his own alliance.

Do you think she is cute?

Cuter than me???

I was a little jealous.

Come on boys, don’t simp for Anlions.

She’s got those hooks in deep.

He won’t be joining Princess Aiko Hold My Hand(((

Sad!

tanktheface

tanktheface lost his Iteron, and a Caracal.

He didn’t care.

He enjoyed full SRP, after losing someone else’s ship.

Despite not caring, tank vowed that someone else would extract revenge.

vault 4+2 (aka vault 6) was on the case!

tanktheface > the man it was knows has give me 50mil… and a new order
tanktheface > he on discord now…so mad
Aiko Danuja > He’s mad at himself for trusting you?
tanktheface > thats why i get the big isk

tank gloated, sending proof of the incoming attack.

Aiko was alarmed. What if 4+2 actually had a battlecruiser?

Furthermore, tank had killrights.

The situation was bleak.

Fortunately, his corporation subsidizes incompetence.

Now we own the Hammer of God.

What an astonishing turn of events!

4+2 is one salty taskforce.

Cordillia denied being a 4+2 agent.

She claimed we are liars, like Biden.

What’s wrong with Sleepy Joe?

Meanwhile, Cordillia (the Orca pilot) insisted that she isn’t a miner.

I think she might be the liar.

Regardless, she wasn’t very calm.

Why was she so angry?

Oh! I guess she is a miner.

Cordillia > You don’t know me, i Just returned to this game after 3 years of military duty in Afganistan. Now you want to tell me that I am a MINING Addicted person. WOW have you all fucking lost it
Whadda Badasaz > The issue here is not your service record, but your mining record.
Northbridge West > That went well over there, didn’t it?
Cordillia > REPORTED
Cordillia > your all safe at home
Cordillia > hiding under your bed
Cordillia > your so far ass whips to me