Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Listening to: My Let’s Play Mix
Red and basepilled.
Capsuleers make their own fate.
We like to help.
EvE Online is an Xtreme video game.
Ok, I’ll play, but…
Some of them went too far.
I know what to do.
Let’s kill them all.
Problem solved.
~=BONUS CONTENT=~
Sargon has released the MarkeeGankedOn cinematic experience.
Check it out boys.
Hey there.
We ganked a garbage truck.
Garbage can tycoon.
Billions of catalysts died…
Miners be crazy in EvE Online.
Facts…
This is the game we play…
Even garbage haulers are miners!
Be ye pirate, or be ye miner?
At least he’s not mad.
Talking about real dollars…
Oh my.
Miners deserve their fate.
I hope they calm down.
No reason to be dramatic.
Anyways…
Nobody likes a miner.
For real.
Yikesaroo…
It’s crazy, right?
That’s right.
I guess MarkeeDragon is a streamer?
A criminal too…
He’s also hostile??
Apparently, this is his alt???
Oof. That freighter looks like some kind of fat beetle, getting swarmed by ants and slowly ripped apart.
Now, Markee claims CCP gives him preferential treatment (as they do for all streamers), and CCP nobility blesses his stream. He threw out some big namedrops to prove he is CCP approved, and I swiftly recognized one of those names. Clearly, based on this political reality, I must tread carefully, to delicately address a claim which Markee repeatedly alleged (before retracting, and then realleging, and then retracting, before realleging). He accused me of cheating!
So, here is the question of the day – was Markee streamsniped (and thereby griefed, in violation of rules which don’t forbid streamsniping, even though carebears pretend otherwise)?
The answer, believe it or not, is no.
For some reason, perhaps because he got dunked, Markee declined to preserve video evidence. Regardless, any investigation will unveil Mr Markee was indeed autopiloting directly toward me. He tried to argue that he wasn’t, based on his physical proximity to a keyboard, but I watched his stream and heard the phrase “Autopilot Engaged” followed by “Autopilot Jumping”. As Eve Online’s most professional streamsniper, my services were clearly not needed here – autopilot ensured Markee’s inevitable demise. In this particular case, the sniper rolled her eyes, rested her rifle on its tripod, and patiently waited.
Let’s see what streamer simps had to say.
Mmhmm.
As always, they tried to shame us for PvP.
They claim Weekend Kusion Aikos are afraid.
This is the most typical whining.
We’ve heard it ten thousand times before.
Cool chat.
That’s right.
Cheerzah!
It’s not easy being a miner.
I wish they would go away.
Time to move along, miner…
Ya know?
That’s right.
I don’t like to laugh at miners…
…but this is objectively funny, bro.
Welcome to Gheth.
Are you ok bro?
The three stages: shock, tears, and apathy.
Mmhmm.
Some people can’t handle the truth.
At least everything was recorded.
Oh, he’s back?
Blocked!
Go on…
I just want to be friends…
He mad.
Who mines in a Gila?
Blcok blcok!
What a community…
You know it, I know it.
It’s not every day that we take a step back from EvE Online, and reflect on the real world. However, Aiko has been hard at work on this film, and it’s finally landed. Wow. Well done Aiko.
Let’s see what a critic might say.
It’s a solid four, even five stars.
As a combat space blogger, this is my jam.
It was so fucking good.
That movie has great dialogue, don’t you think?
Chat let’s go!
Boy, you best be watching that movie.
I wanna see it again.
Soon.
Here’s a second trailer.
Also, guess what?
Wow, some great writers out there.
Cheerzah!
Listening to: Tunnel Snakes Rule!
Mission Ready Mining (aka Fly Fearless) was not ready.
Years ago, Kalongned wrote a brief recap.
He wrote this back when I was busy euthanizing CODE.
After fleeing to Uemiseisen, the miners were still not ready.
Fortunately, an elite Assistance Group was deployed.
The AG team loves helping miners get ready!
In particular, they train miners to fight the Tunnel Snake Empire.
My alliance URL honors their experience, with a URL.
I also enjoy cybersex.
AG instructors would bump miners, during simulated Snake attacks.
Mission Ready Mining thus enjoyed a free Platinum training regimen.
This came with easy to understand audio instructions.
Miner bootcamp would continue indefinitely, and could only be terminated via payment of a modest cancellation fee.
Tunnel Snakes bump, gank, and wardec miners in Highsec. They tend to be rude to everyone, and spend much of their time cussing in local. Tunnel Snake sympathizers are also known to use vulgar language.
Meanwhile, local chat was continuously filled with fascinating factoids.
Founded in 2017, Assistance Group is a group of Trainers who are dedicated to defending Highsec. Assistance Group provides the expertise and support Highsec miners need to defend themselves against the Tunnel Snake menace.
The Tunnel Snakes have a number of corporations under their direct/indirect control. More specific intel on Tunnel Snakes and/or their affiliated organizations is only available to Class B or higher Trainers.
BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR: Individuals with the words ‘Tunnel Snake’ in player biographies, ship names, corporation names, etc. Class B and above Trainers can report Tunnel Snake activity in our invite-only intel channel.
Assistance Group’s hands on approach to training gives Highsec miners the edge they need to rid Highsec the Tunnel Snake menace. This means defeating not only the Tunnel Snakes, but their sympathizers and puppets as well.
Assistance Group Trainers provide our Highsec partners with a variety of exciting training opportunities, including: bumping, ganking, and more. This training prepares our partners for the tactics employed by our shared enemy.
Trainers work alone or in groups, Trainers can be found in icebelts and other areas designated as ‘training grids’, Not all training sessions are announced; many trainers consider any grid they occupy to be a training grid.
By November, the ‘Fly Fearless’ alliance was afraid.
In order to address this, live fire exercises began.
Many many miners were tested, and all were unready.
War was imminent!
As trainers, Kalorned and Tweeps listened to Fly Fearless comms.
This was most instructive.
To be continued…
Cultural Center is a miner bumper.
100 million, or risk bump.
Muutaras urged the miners of Kamio to revolt.
Longtime readers will recall Kamio has always been uncivilized.
Muutaras vowed to devour the griefers.
He stood proudly on his soapbox.
Cultural patiently explained the law.
He also taught Muutaras some history.
Does anybody remember JTClone Ares?
Thanks for the free isk, bro!
Muutaras began brainstorming a plot.
Unfortunately, his rebel clout was diminished by his own history.
Muutaras is a graduate of the Princess Aiko School of Mining.
Even rebel leaders need a mining permit.
Muutaras made Cultural feel better.
Greetings!
My alliance has several accomplished Twitch streamers.
Recently, bushkitty was streaming EvE Online.
As always, antigankers began to cry.
Mary Viper couldn’t handle it.
Whine indeed.
What a silly miner.
Cheerzah!
