Listening to: Cleopatra Synthwave
What happened?
Meanwhile, in sunny Ansila…
SuperDildo
Listening to: Infamous
Trigger Warning: Actual gameplay in EvE Online!
SuperDildo is an antiganker.
Like all antigankers, he is racist, sexist, homophobic, and stupid.
After several humiliating losses, SuperDildo wanted to chat.
He had a lot to say.
This went well.
I just want three men and a Lambo.
A hooby like me needs it bad.
He (or she?) started getting all excited.
Russian men go crazy for a distracting circle jerk.
Afterward, I helped him relax.
I’m glad he had fun!
It’s nice to have new friends.
What a wholesome game!
CCP takes this all very very seriously.
Muffy, call me!
Breaking NEWS
Listening to: Satyagraha
It finally happened.
Calm down miner is official.
Like it or not, but I’ve made EvE history.
Hrothbear was the first of many. A funny story about that… He was so desperate to pad his killboard, vowing to NOT SPEAK to anyone who linked the killmail on Zkill. Naturally, Sargon did it about a minute later, leading Saltgar to cry, running away from a chorus of “Calm down miner.” Now, years later, he can relive the experience!
Meanwhile, darkolus has begun his own descent into madness.
Ganked by Nazes, he vowed revenge.
darkolus > No, I’m just going to ruin the channel
Aiko Danuja > doubt
John Steelmerc > the only things miners ruin are our precious natural veldspar belts
Aaaarrgg > darkolus please dont mess up the channel with your miner salt, thats not our thing
Aiko Danuja > Kill: Phat Phil (Griffin)
Aiko Danuja > Kill: rajehem (Obelisk)
darkolus > you’re just ruining this game…
Dave Gates > darkolus ur face is ruining this channel now take a hike already. they’re creating content. if you don’t like it then leave like a sour puss & GTFO
darkolus > No… i won’t… my face gonna keep ruinning this channel…
He is a dark ugly little man…
With broken sentence fragments, he sought revenge.
He even invented a slogan…
…and a business plan!
My channel was ruined by bad grammar and incoherent phrases.
He griefed on me hard.
…but why was he griefing me?
What a crazy miner!
Cheerzah!
Pokegank
Oi!
EvE Online is a lot like Pokemon.
Catch ’em all!
Every miner yearns for a moment of glory.
Drag basked in endgame content.
However, he let his team down.
Drag considered his future in EvE Online.
I urged him to stay.
Oh well!
Double Pass
Lunarius needed a mining permit.
He apologized for all the questions.
Even newbros can figure out how to pay.
He also bought an Amarr pass!
This is a pretty good business.
Cheerzah bruv!
Woah
EvE Online is one tough game.
That’s why we help newbros!
Sometimes they don’t appreciate us.
Are miners retardado?
I think so, yes.
Oh well.
Cheerzah!
Silly miners!
These are good people, right?
Hm, maybe not.
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
Miners are scrubs.
YAY
Hey-o.
Not bad.
Nice.
Ok, let’s settle down…
Everybody is winning this year!
AFK miners have never been so safe.
We have the best players in EvE Online.
This isn’t your daddy’s game!
I guess that’s another win.
See you next year…
Cheerzah!
NateTheGreat Great
Nate was mining.
That’s not so great great.
Always pay the ransom!
Somehow, Nate lost his Orca?
That was fine fine.
yip yip (screeeeeeeching intensifies)
The true true is this…
Any questions?
Oh no, Natenate got attacked again again.
Duh, because there’s cinnamon swirls in every bite!
That’s how we roll on EZ. Street
Merry Gankmas!
Hi!
I logged in, and was immediately ambushed…
It was the ghost of spring past.
Kotojo doubled my Christmas cheer.
Another happy miner.
Cheerzah!
That’s right.
THE END
Miners never understand the Gankmas spirit.
Oh well.
Anyways…
Don’t forget to claim your FREE quarter-penny unfit frigate!
BONUS CHRISTMAS SALT
Artemsia Stays SAFE
What happened?
Artemisia was there, but didn t have see.
However, she was AFK.
Afterward, she went to buy a new pod.
As a social worker, I helped her move to a new home.
Tintoh is a SAFE space.
It’s a happy place for happy miners.
Ganking changed Artemisia forever.
What a happy miner.
Cheerzah!
