Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Our incursion team is unstoppable.
Sir Balu began investigating.
The culprits are, well, us.
Amazing.
Our team developed its own unique strategy.
Meanwhile, the miners kept crying.
The next battleground was Ohide.
Halbarad “Carebearing” Dovanna was dismayed.
The crabs decided to kill their own incursion.
That’s fine with us.
Lol!
Miners sure are stupid.
To be continued…
Previously, on AikoBompr…
Incursions are despawning across Highsec.
After winning an incursion, our team set course to the next site.
Carebears were flummoxed.
Where was the free easy isk?
The miners suddenly had a lot more free time.
So they began crying in Discord.
Some searched in vain for a silver lining.
Others conspired to scam CCP with exaggerated grief.
Screeching could be heard across the galaxy.
Eventually, Hawk received a formal complaint.
This was amusing.
To be continued…
Interesting…
Let’s review:
or
Let’s see what else the bot has to say.
Indeed, mining permits are very important.
Ah, but what if we use “calm down miner” offensively?
I see, that’s good stuff.
Haha, you guys.
Ok, that’s not funny…
That’s right.
That’s right!
Listening to: Aftermath
Trigger Warning: EvE Online
Oh my, that one really crossed the line…
From time to time, we review CCP’s character name policy.
They take inappropriate names very seriously.
Let’s take a quick stroll through Search…
Everything looks fine here!
CCP has already addressed the most sensitive subjects.
EvE Online is a SAFE space.
No racism or inappropriate sexual content here!
Can you find the naughty word?
Hmph! Me neither…
Just harmless fun in EvE Online.
It’s impossible to get a naughty name past the GM team!
Anything catch your eye?
No worries here.
If nobody has killed themself in 7 years, it’s fine!
Just good clean fun for everyone.
As you can see, CCP is on top of it.
Nothing even remotely questionable here!
A decade is plenty of time to catch these bad boys!
This year, we award CCP a Gold Star.
Long gone are the days of blatantly offensive gamer names.
This is now a wholesome family game!
Every conceivable topic has been thoroughly addressed.
CCP is super woke.
Ok, see ya next year.
Have fun!
haha
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
Everybody knows the story.
Awox the awoxer, who awoxed his friends and family.
It sounds legit.
We’ve heard the story many times.
However, Awox always told a different tale…
He wasn’t an awoxer at all!
We brought him in for a quick interview.
This led to a surprising revelation.
I introduce to you, Awox the friendly carebear.
He couldn’t awox a fly.
He thinks awoxing is toxic.
The true story, according to Awox, is that the Mittani is a pedo.
Awox’s name is a tribute to his former employer’s beloved grandmother.
The goons invented griefplay to impugn her memory.
What a nice guy!
Awox prefers that people use my name, Aiko.
He’s also a fan!
…and now you know, the rest of the story.
=AFTERWORD=
Listening to: Infamous
Trigger Warning: Actual gameplay in EvE Online!
SuperDildo is an antiganker.
Like all antigankers, he is racist, sexist, homophobic, and stupid.
After several humiliating losses, SuperDildo wanted to chat.
He had a lot to say.
This went well.
I just want three men and a Lambo.
A hooby like me needs it bad.
He (or she?) started getting all excited.
Russian men go crazy for a distracting circle jerk.
Afterward, I helped him relax.
I’m glad he had fun!
It’s nice to have new friends.
What a wholesome game!
CCP takes this all very very seriously.
Muffy, call me!
Antigankbears spread the word.
Gankers will gank you.
Everybody wants easy AFK isk.
You might remember DrysonBennington.
Our resident theorycrafter has another zany idea.
What if Aiko lost Uedama?
What if Uedama went full Lawless?
That makes sense.
He wants to take my Uedama!
That’s just crazy talk.
Antigankers are not very smart.
That’s right.
Listening to: Seiso
That’s right.
Have you read the laws of Highsec?
It’s pretty cool.
CCP warned me for calling someone a loser.
That’s fair…
Ok then!
This Post Sponsored By:
Srajin knew Kevin 284 was behind the attacks…
2… 3… 4… disconnect…
Princess Aiko investigates…
Srajin got disconnected again!
This is a fun game.
He started gaslighting me…
What a silly miner!
Hmm…
Hey, I know that guy!
So he invited me to the LITG discord.
I see…
Srajin didn’t believe me.
He’s a computer expert.
He cried and cried…
I just told him the truth.
Deny, deny, deny.
It was a real mystery.
PLOT TWIST: Tyrion Hekki is Goose Lee.
Srajin left with a warning.
It was a real mystery threat.
The End!
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
CCP continues to dumb down the game.
Hek is apparently now an 0.6.
I see…
I guess they can’t moon mine in Hek?
Oh well!
Here’s the official news from CCP.
