Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Dunk Dinkle ranked his favourite EvE players.
I’m a perfect -10.
Miners are always excited to see me.
They often have questions.
I love to help!
Anthony has been a good little miner!
His alts all have mining permits.
What a happy bear!
What could possibly be wrong?
Oh, right, he still needs a fleeting permit.
Anthony just had one more question.
It would only cost 100 175 million isk to get an answer.
I’m sure he’s paid all the fees — right?
Like omg, I’m like such a cutie!
Kalvaen is was(?) a Highsec miner.
I beat him in a videogame (twice).
I have no idea if Kalvaen subsequently committed suicide.
That’s pretty fucked up.
Don’t blame the gankers.
We are just playing the game.
I wish miners would act different.
They are so toxic.
Maybe they just need to calm down?
Mining is a privilege, not a right.
Don’t kill yourself over a little isk.
It’s literally just a game.
I have released an official statement.
Every day brings new victories.
When maximus died, I knew he was special.
He told his mining mates that everything was fine.
He thought he was winning.
maximus orelious > you lost more isk than me
maximus orelious > do the math
maximus orelious > you got schoooled
maximus orelious > yall lost more isk than me lmao
Jinx Beirutbomb > Miner, are you bad at math?
maximus orelious > i only lost 57 mil
maximus orelious > actually less cause my wreck stilll there
Aiko Danuja > How much salvage can you get from a retriever wreck?
Lufiaspawn > you’re all fools, he’ll make that isk back in 2 weeks of mining 10 hours a day!
Maximus didn’t believe a girl could kill an Orca.
If he read my blog, he’d know something.
Krig Povelli taught me a secret trick.
I can’t kill orcas, but my boyfriend can!
Maximus tried to bluff his way out.
Then he tried to scam me.
He even sent an unfit barge!
Meanwhile, the other Procurer tried ganking.
As always, I was victorious.
Nice!
LIVE UPDATE:
Hananeri Muvilla wrote an internet essay.
Breaking news right here.
Princess Aiko hates new players.
She hates them in game, and in real life.
Disclaimer: That’s literally not what I said.
Previously, the Duke vowed to resist the Princess.
Many wonder about the mysterious lady in flashy red.
Is she actually a she?
Some people claim she is James 315, the Mittani, and Loyalanon.
Other people notice a distinct difference.
Aiko is an actual b-word c-word.
The Duke tried to be transphobic, but it didn’t feel right.
He knew, deep down, that she is an IRL w-word s-word.
Could he resist her evil temptations?
He liked her sass.
Duke had been committing video game suicide.
However, he had second thoughts.
He’d never met a woman who made him feel so inadequate.
The Duke was starting to feel something magical.
He finally met an IRL female, and he liked it.
Just like that, the spell was complete, and he transformed into a simp.
Mining bored Duke to the brink of death.
Fortunately, Aiko retained his subscription.
Previously, Princess Emmylou bemoaned the death of a Procurer.
The decedent wondered whether Princess Aiko is truly a dumb b-word/c-word.
The Duke winced, because the truth hurt.
He finally realized that Aiko is an s-word, in real life.
She’s definitely a total s-word…
…and a tease!
The dead miner was caught in her magical web.
He was so excited to meet a woman, in a video game.
He felt like she was right there, mocking his little thing in real life.
Maybe she would text with him?
To be continued…
People are starting to notice.
I’m minerjamming.
It’s pretty great.
I’m like a sexy James 315, in Tama!
Same blue background, with a super cute face!
Xaxaxa)
Did you know I multibox multiple alpha accounts?
Oh ho ho.
This is the best.
Ain’t never gonna stop!
Miner Durishaka couldn’t get enough.
He didn’t know what to think.
EDITOR’S NOTE: What’s the point of streaming if you remove your clips?
Transcript, “Aiko is a super toxic b… with an army of simps!”
So he checked me out on Google.
Transcript, “Googling Princess Aiko, and the first result is sex with James 315…”
EDITOR’S NOTE: What’s the point of streaming if you remove your clips?
What a goofus!
That’s right!
That’s right!
I’ve started minerjamming.
Thusly ended a violent reign o’ terror.
Afterward, Kalypsion acknowledged my victory.
He was surprised women play EvE Online.
Thanks for the free ego boosts, bro.
I’m glad there are no hard feelings.
In ye olden times of yore, the Minerbumping channel was a place where good agents were summarily banned for trivial reasons, with no judicial recourse (other than praying to a dead guy, who quit undocking a decade ago). This happened, for example, when Salah felt Jerry Rin and karma balancer were being disrespectful.
From: Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri
Sent: 2018.02.12 09:33
To: [redacted]
Hi friends,
I’m writing this little essay here because… issues with certain people, like karma balancer, who has an existential grudge against me for no apparent reason. I even have a recording of him calling me a piece of shit on Teamspeak and saying that all Russians must be bombed… As for mod rights, I’m all for redistributing them, but there has to be a set of guidelines…
Praise James!
Likewise, when Lewak became jealous of Aiko Danuja. Or when Super Perforator came down with a bad case of terminal autisms. It’s the sort of stuff that James 315 never wrote about, because he never knew about it.
Fortunately, the modern Why Was I Ganked? channel is a bastion of due process. We finally managed to redistribute the mod rights, by creating a new channel, and a new alliance, with new guidelines for a new New Order.
Woah there, Iceminer, let me just stop you right there.
Pay rent, on time each month, or get out of Highsec.
Do you want to wind up like Mick Barmata?
My fees are very reasonable!
Anyways… Miners have legal rights, under the auspices of the CODE. and your lawful High Queen Regent dispenses sweet justice according to her regal whim, whenever and however the Heroin decides. That’s only fair, right?
Recently, Kalvin Rothchild summoned his antiganking alt.
Kalvin paid 100 million to be unbanned, only to be rebanned!
It is my pleasure to clarify why Kalvin is rebanned.
Recently, a mysterious CODE.-Safety. taskforce went All-Out, apprehending Kalvin’s mining alt. I found this to be most pleasurable.
Kalvin’s Princess Aiko barbie doll promptly began crying.
This went on for quite some time.
On and on…
The logs are voluminous.
Kalvin, I’m gonna need another 100 million isk.
You done wrong, and I like money.
