What a Hateless crybaby

Believe it or not, but EvE Online is a PvP game. Players fight over resources, in a battle royale. As an analogy, consider the game Fortnite. In the image below, you can see a miner, harvesting ore.

Of course, there’s always a little cutie with a ponytail, who won’t hesitate to shoot a hapless miner.

Carebears whine and moan endlessly, complaining about those meanie “griefers” who engage in PvP. One crybaby recently gave me permission to share his tears with you.

Thank you Hateless.

Hateless sees no problem with “griefing” in nullsec, but he cries foul when someone touches him in Highsec.

I know what you are asking.

Earlier today, Adrian Vexier decided to bump an Orca.

I could have shot Hateless (again), but I was already shooting someone else, so the crybaby miner was perfectly safe. Ultimately, nobody ganked Hateless, but he is still crying.

Nobody shot Hateless. Nevertheless, the mere presence of another player was enough to “provoke an emotional response”. Hateless was frustrated that another player was playing the game. So he sat down next to his motorcycle, and quit his space “job”.

EvE Online “stream fleet” partners are coddled by CCP. They get free handouts, free plex, free skins, and free advertising. Apparently, it’s just not enough. Hateless merely wants to get paid for not playing, with no hassle from the other players.

Minerbumping is a timeless tradition. Consequently, I have no idea how Hateless can feel entitled to mine in Highsec, with a fleet of Hulks, and yet he throws a temper tantrum whenever someone bumps his Orca. What does he expect is going to happen?

Apparently, if you declare Highsec mining to be your “job”, then you can claim harassment because other players are interfering.

Hateless simps rallied to his defense.

New players deserve protection!

Everyone is discussing how to stop gameplay in a game.

Oh boohoohoo, the miner can’t maximize his isk/hr.

Honestly, CCP should stop enabling carebears.

Highsec miners should be banned from the Partner program.

They can go play a different game.

Seriously, just go.

It’s literally a game.

I will give the final word to Dex.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #242

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #241

Blitz had a rough day.

Killmails generate EvEmails

Some of them are pretty good!

Haha, I’m so salty about having to create my own alliance.

You can learn more about Lahnius, on my other blog!

Miners are always crying.

Lol, ok Hrothgar!

However, CCP claims that I am toxic???

I honestly can’t read it all.

I can’t stop reading it either.

Their tears ring out across the eons.

Yes, yes I do.

Yes, yes I do.

I wish I had more time to read my mail.

I’ll never be able to tell the full story.

People are always writing at me.

I’m an IRL space celebrity.

Haha.

My alliance definitely has more fun than other alliances.

Yes.

Tannia Got Ganked (again)

Every carebear knows that gankers enjoy griefer roleplay harassment. However, today we will consider another side of the story. Believe it or not, but some miners enjoy the attention.

When Tannia Voxx lost her Golem, she understood that it is important to purchase a mining permit.

As an AFK miner, Tannia was proud to purchase an AFK permit.

Alas, Tannia died again.

You might expect that she would be upset.

Fortunately, I did not ignore her emotional distress.

Like many miners, she enjoyed a prolonged cry.

Contrary to popular belief, miners are not griefed in the Why Was I Ganked? channel. Instead, they study space law.

Tannia had a lot of paranoid concerns.

Ultimately, she purchased a non AFK permit.

Tannia is ready to mine in style!

Yes, some people actually enjoy spending their money on ships that get blown up in a video game. They enjoy getting invited to an ingame channel, where they are told to calm down and send isk.

I love to help the little miners.

Her new corporation is happy to meet her.

THE TRUTH

As I continue to defend myself against the spurious allegation that I deliberately and intentionally invited miners to a channel, entitled Why Was I Ganked?, wherein I conspired with evil aforesight to tell such said miners to “calm down” all for the nefarious purpose of provoking an emotional reaction…

The truth is that I am innocent of ill intent.

A carebear might assume that I am a griefer, and that I am killing miners to prevent them from enjoying a free to play video game, harassing them both in game and in real life, all for the sole purpose of feeling better about the fact that I am a crazy cat spinster who still lives in my mother’s attic. However, there is a much deeper purpose which shows that I am truly engaged in EvE Online as a good CCP-fearing woman.

Yes, this blog was created to demonstrate before CCP, the community, impartial third-party observers, and the space UN that miners are not crying due to my inappropriate behaviour. In fact, as the evidence shows, miners are bad at a video game, and they are throwing grandiose temper tantrums to scam and deceive the Icelandic gods.

Furthermore, I am running a serious space business.

Last year, A bancy7 bought multiple lifetime mining permits.

Recently, I renegotiated our contract.

This isn’t griefing.

This is law and order.

Bancy needs a mixed doctrine permit.

Just read the original Code of new New Halaima.

You can’t mix Golems and Rattlesnakes, without a mixed permit!

I’m here to help.

What’s next? Retrievers and Covetors?

Recap

The last few months years have been a whirlwind.

I still remember when Raven x1 threatened to gangrape murder me. Subsequently, I learned that Kalvaen Voidwalker shot himself. Eventually, I also learned that Kalvaen was pretending. Meanwhile, I received emails encouraging me to cut my wrists and shoot myself. There was even a nice old man who suggested I light myself on fire. Finally, CCP concluded that I am harassing these poor innocents.

Searching for context, I reviewed the list of approved player character names. These include Dickbag McDickSucker, faglord faggerson, NaziMiner, Definiatel Racist Racist, Molesterman69 Rapeface, Jewed Auschwitz, Kill Yourself SrslyDoItNow, Ana-Lee Raped, pedofile pedobear, and niggniggniggniggniggnigg NiggNiggNigg. How can a modern corporation not be concerned about this? What did I do wrong, that was so terrible, which makes me the concern?

I tried to discuss this on an EvE Discord, which I thought was filled with reasonable adults. Unfortunately, these were just your typical carebears. They weren’t in the least bit concerned that EvE Online has a character called adolf-stalin-nigg3r jew-nigg3r. Nor were they concerned about IRL death threats.

The real concern, is that I tell miners to “Calm down.”

I find that argument utterly absurd.

Imagine playing Monopoly, and another player has a temper tantrum. You might say, “Calm down, shoe (or dog, or top hat, or car, or thimble). It’s just a game!” However, what if they flip over the board, ranting about how they are gonna cut you up, and send you to hell. As shocking as that might be, now imagine that you try to talk to someone about this, and they state, “Well, you did build a hotel on Boardwalk, and made the choice to charge rent. You clearly provoked this.” 

I wonder if CCP will ban me, over an exaggerated complaint.

I question why I play EvE, and whether I should continue.

I suppose the only thing to do is continue ganking miners, and urging them to calm down. I don’t want them to murder me, but I also don’t like mining.

If I shoot them all, they might finally understand.

AFK is not safe.

Griefing and Harassment

GalactusGalactuss recently got in trouble for inappropriate language.

I don’t know what he said, but I bet it wasn’t that bad.

Previously, I discussed CCP’s haphazard enforcement of policies. Unfortunately, biased gamemasters do not enforce the rules fairly. Miners are often allowed to make IRL death threats, but gankers are sanctioned for saying “Calm down.”

Consequently, when crybaby Nick Steele lost his autopiloting spaceship, he knew exactly what to do. He whined to CCP, and reported the space bullies who harassed him. Naturally, CCP bought him a new Bhaalgorn.

Yes, Nick was the victim of my “ongoing” harassment.

If you want your ship replaced, you just need one email from me.

If you pay me, I will contact you, so CCP gives you free stuff.

Meanwhile, here are actual characters that CCP doesn’t threaten to ban.

Aiko Danuja Urine has an acceptable biography.

CCP takes allegations of harassment VERY seriously.

The GM team ensures EvE Online is a safe space!

We need to respect miners like I rapekids kids.

Gankers are not allowed to grief ChinkNigga and Chinkihate.

I was threatened with a permaban, for referring to an Autistic Retard.

CCP policies are enforced fairly for all players!

CCP doesn’t allow toxic language in this game.

As a Highsec ganker, I must always be on my best behaviour.

CCP holds me to a higher standard.

Calm down miner = griefer harassment roleplay.

Dumb N*ggggggggg*rrrrrrrrrrr = approved roleplay?

Sometimes, I wonder what CCP employees do all day.

One thing is for sure.

CCP employees should stop investigating me.

Just ban me, so I don’t upset valued customers.

Ya know?

It’s a great game, with great people!

Neospace

If you are a preteen princess from the 90s, then you love Neopets.

Neopets are like furries, but for children.

I wonder how that upgrade went?

With their identities stolen, escaped neopets fled to outer space.

You can hang out with 36.5 billion baseliner civilian catgirls!

Unfortunately, they don’t like Highsec gankers.

The Neopian Federation is a carebear consortium.

Ajna was weak, but she wanted to be strong.

She did some research, and realized I only have 3 friends.

I guess numbers are important after all?

So she started bullying me.

This was one uppity miner.

James 315 was always afraid of duels, always!

Fortunately, I’m actually capable of undocking.

We met at the sun, where it is always high noon.

An HONORIBEL 1v1 duel.

Mission Accomplished

I have finally won EvE.

I’ll never go away, I’ll never stop, and I’ll always come back.

From the very first, I was a fan of Rooks and Kings.

A great alliance, with a great legacy.

My alliance has done more, in less time.

My name is Aiko Danuja, and I am an irl space vampire princess.

I am also the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online.

James 315 was literally invincible. I took his whole alliance, the money, the fame, the glory, the praise, the isk, the blog, the house, the dog, the cats, the heroin, the killboard… I stuck my face on it, and the universe is mine.

EvE was dying (again), and I saved it (again).

Someday, they will write the history of EvE Online, and they will observe that blobber alliances were boring and dumb. The true history will be about cool alliances, filled with creative interesting people. They will talk about Shadow Cartel, Snuffed Out, Hard Knocks, Wingspan, and xqtywiznalamywmodxfhhopawzpqyjdwrpeptuaenabjawdzku. All these alliances will be a mere footnote, an introduction to the real story, which will be about the epic rise and rise of one Aiko Danuja.

You can doubt me, but just look at what I’ve done.

I am dizzy with success…

…and I’m just getting started.

BIG

BADA

BOOM

ahahahaha AHAHAAHHAHAHA

BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

xaxaxa)))

You gotta pay to play.

Peace and Love

CCP wants everyone to calm down.

Everyone Gankers must remain respectful.

We must reject all forms of griefplay harassment.

It is a bannable offense to ignore a miner’s emotional distress.

Every player deserves respect.

Streamers are a privileged caste, with more rights than ordinary players.

I’m just playing an emotionless videogame.

We always treat each other with RESPECT and DIGNITY.

We must never provoke an emotional response.

I have read the secret IceCream annex to the EULA.

You can threaten to rape me in real life, it’s clearly my fault.

PvP is a violation of the EULA, because it triggers an emotional experience.

EvE is a game for peaceful AFK miners.

The player count proves that CCP knows how to develop this game!