Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Governor Lee tried to annex Lonetrek (again).
Not on my watch!
The absolute plebs are on my list.
That’s right.
They are bad at mining, ganking, and antiganking.
In EvE Online, miners be crazy.
Get blocked!
Like seriously.
Welcome to the Absolute Matrix.
It’s full of trash.
They are never calm.
In EvE Online, we pick our own fights.
Who will Absolute Order send against me?
I sure hope they figure it out.
FROM DOWNTOWN
Every miner must obey the law.
That’s right.
Was everything over forever?
One week, mom survived…
The Russians paid 35 billion, for one week of Highsec PvE.
The next spawn was an island in Solitude.
Suddenly, lazy carebears didn’t want to PvE.
They blamed us, and CCP.
The bears didn’t even try.
They wished Hawk would rescue them.
They wanted mom to die.
Highsec miners just want free easy isk.
Island isk wasn’t good enough.
To be continued…
It’s not griefing, when you are sincerely salty.
Losers can say whatever they want in EvE Online.
Eventually, he found me.
Gankers have to follow CCP’s EULA.
Crybabies enjoy free speech.
What a guy.
He’s absolutely salty.
This went on for a few days.
Meanwhile, the Absolute Pleb discord had a laugh.
It’s not harassment, when you are bad at EvE Online.
This is what antigankers do.
That’s appropriate language for a miner.
Let’s see what else he had to say.
PLOT TWIST: He likes me more than you)))))) xD
Miners can use all the bad words.
PLOT TWIST: He has a crush on me.
What a classy guy.
I have a solution for miners like him.
There’s your warning, buddy.
PLOT TWIST: Gankers are the coolest people in the galaxy.
Welcome to reality, little guy.
That’s right.
Oi.
People notice me.
Hey there!
Hihi))
Antiganking miners say whatever they want.
Oh, I love it, thanks for asking.
Only gankers have to follow the EULA.
It’s ok, you can cry all day in EvE Online.
It’s not griefing, when you are salty.
It’s not harassment, if you are a whinebaby.
That’s right.
Cool story bro.
Nobody likes an antiganking miner.
Cheerzah!
Previously, the Avalanche was overpowered…
However, today we made history.
So yah, I logged into EvE Online…
Antigankers were already waiting.
They are kinda dumb.
Today, we are fishing in Uedama.
Hey there.
Great teamwork.
Op success.
Another fake gank.
That’s right.
Later that day…
***RUMORS AND INTEL***
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The Brisc Rubal Home for Hot Unwed Mothers
Cheers!
Guest Article
Hey, everybody, I’m Gallente Holostar, lead theorycraft design team lead for the Imperium.
Aiko made a map.
There are nine systems of interest: Torrinos, Ibura, Yoma, Oipo, Piak, Elonaya, Onnamon, Uuhulanen, and Uchomida. The miners congregate here and about. We have put a stop to all that, effective immediately. Come join us, as we continue our investigation.
*Facts and Evidence*
The miners use their Highsec wealth to rent in nullsec.
We hate Romania, so we started bumping.
Question: If Nagamac mines in Highsec, to pay rent in nullsec, what happens if he can’t mine in Highsec?
Just think about it.
Listening to: Cat Sky
Remember Cat Sky?
He’s an Absolute Pleb.
Oh, what did you say?
Now you’ve got my attention (again), Mr Lee.
It’s been a busy week, hasn’t it?
Apparently, RoCket X needs my help.
I’m always happy to help a friend.
There’s only one concentration camp allowed in Highsec…
It’s time to evict these Absolute Wannabes!
That’s called justice.
Nobody likes an Absolute Bear.
Ya know what this means?
Welcome to Absolute Safety.
Zivix Spiroski > u dogshit of a persone
Zivix Spiroski > hunting your ass down
Zivix Spiroski > ALL DAY LONG!
Zivix Spiroski > u don’t know me
Zivix Spiroski > i know u irl
That’s right.
That’s right!
Generous donations always accepted.
To be continued…
This Juneteenth, we celebrate.
Are ganking days over forever?
Wow! A new Uedama alltime record!
We now return to our regularly scheduled content.
The miners united against us.
They didn’t want to pay.
They had nothing to offer.
Just the news.
You don’t say?
Miners don’t like to pay.
Will FBI tactics work in EvE Online?
Would ISIS Safety just go away?
They tried to stay positive.
The FBI really inspired them.
Well, ok then.
We needed a new plan.
Indeed, this focus was different.
We definitely said thank you…
We were very encouraged.
Someone paid, didn’t they?
Oh yes, that’s right.
How much?
35 billion isk, or mom dies.
They paid 35b, to PvE in Highsec, for one week.
To be continued…
Antigankers are always salty.
They were ganked, and now they want REVENGE.
First comes the gank, then comes the ‘antigank’.
This never goes according to plan.
CTIRx is one such miner.
He re-invented himself as an antiganker.
Unfortunately, he isn’t a killer.
Just another antiganking stalker.
We know how to deal with them.
That’s right.
Uedama is where the best players in the game…
…get to laugh at the worst.
So he changed systems.
That went as well as expected.
Good fight!
Cheerzah!
What a miner.
Listening to: Snoop
Hot or not?
Hey there.
You know how I do.
Just Aiko things.
We especially love to grief newbros.
TrickyNicky started off as an antiganker’s miner.
I walked all over him.
Hey. If you can’t beat me, join me.
Well, he tried his best.
Wow, there you go!
Now that’s a neat trick, Nick!
Haha, we sure griefed that poor newbro streamer.
That’s how you play EvE Online.
When the miner’s in the belt
Drop it like it’s hot
Drop it like it’s hot
Drop it like it’s hot
When CONCRD try to get at you
Gank it like it’s hot
Gank it like it’s hot
Gank it like it’s hot
And if a freighter get a attitude
Pop it like it’s hot
Pop it like it’s hot
Pop it like it’s hotAnd I roll the best weed ’cause I got it going on
Uh! I’m a nice gal, with some nice dreams
See these Catalysts, see these Coercers?
High security, million isk boats
The interior like red
Killer with the beat, I know killers that are elite
You should think about it, take a secondI’m a gangsta, but y’all knew that
Da Big Boss B, yeah I had to do that
Ain’t no other way to play the game the way I play
I can’t fake it, just break it, and when I take it
See I specialize in making all the miners get safe
